Indigo Nights (Nights #3)(53)

“Why don’t you boys go play pool?” Haven suggested, pulling me toward the sofa under the window at the front of the house.

“Does that mean you want to talk about penises?” Luke asked. He didn’t stop for an answer, just grabbed his beer and headed out.

Dylan looked at me. Was he worried about what we were going to say? He bent toward me and kissed me briefly on the lips. I wanted to grab him by the collar and mount him. It had been too long since I’d run my hands across his hard body and felt him between my thighs. He frowned and pulled away, following Jake and Luke.

I turned toward my friends. Ash’s hand was covering her throat and Haven was grinning.

“He’s so hot,” Haven said, collapsing back onto the sofa.

She was right about that, I thought as I sat down next to her.

“And so into you,” Ash added, sitting on the floor in front of us, holding baby Maggie out in front of her.

“You look so good together. He’s so hot.” Haven pulled me into a hug.

“It’s so good to see him.” I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed him until I saw him at the airport.

“It’s like the air buzzes around the two of you. You can see the chemistry.” Ash grinned at me.

I laughed. “That’s just because I haven’t been laid in two weeks.”

“It’s more than that,” Ash said.

It felt like more than that. Physical attraction was where it had started, and I couldn’t imagine ever getting to a place I wasn’t floored by his handsome face every time I looked at him, but it was his sweetness, his honesty, and his kindness that made me miss him. “I think so.”

“Are you in love with him?” Haven asked.

A small voice inside my head had been telling me I was in love with Dylan for a while now, but I’d been ignoring it. It felt stupid to admit it. Scary. He was the first guy who I’d even kissed sober. It was almost as if I was declaring my love for my high school boyfriend. I didn’t want people to think I was being na?ve, and I didn’t want to have gotten it wrong. Did I know him well enough to love him? Had I seen the real him or just what I wanted to see?

“We’ll take that silence as a yes,” Ash said.

“I think I am,” I replied.

“Think?” Haven raised her eyebrows at me.

“It feels soon, and maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just grateful that he’s nice to me and has a great ass. I don’t have an awful lot to compare him to.”

We all laughed, which made Maggie laugh and so we all laughed again.

Ash grabbed my hand. “I don’t think it’s that. You are the best judge of character I know.”

“You think I’m a good judge of character?” I asked. “What about Louis?”

“Everyone has bad ex-boyfriends. You lost your mother and were dealing with your alcoholism. You’re not that same person. I’ve always known you as thoughtful and wise; you really see through any bullshit that people throw at you.” Haven grabbed my hand and squeezed.

I was still getting used to the Beth that Haven knew. And I still had all the same memories of the old Beth, which kept holding me back.

Looking at the baby, I made my confession. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I think that it’s the first time I’ve ever really been in love.”

“I think that’s just fantastic,” Ash said.

Haven released my hand. “You deserve to be in love, and have someone love you back.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I laughed. “He doesn’t love me back. From his side, we’re having some great sex and that’s okay.”

“Just because you’re having great sex doesn’t mean he can’t love you.” Haven prodded me in the thigh. “There’s no way a guy meets a girl’s family if he’s not serious.”

I bit back a grin. Dylan had shown no reticence about meeting Jake. Things weren’t just sex between us, but I wasn’t sure what it was as far as he was concerned.

“I swear to God, sex is going to be this little girl’s first word,” Ash said, grinning at Maggie.

“Should I ask where my niece is?”

Haven shrugged. “She’s somewhere around here.” The look of horror must have shown on my face because she said, “I’m kidding. She’s napping.”

“Back to the sex,” Ash said. “He has the look in his eye I saw Jake wear the first time I met him.”

Haven frowned. “You were drunk the first time you met Jake, and besides, he was with another woman.”

“Okay, that’s true. The second time I met him, then. It’s the same look. That’s all I’m saying.”

My heart clenched. The thought that Dylan might love me was overwhelming. I needed to go find him. I wanted him to tell me if it was true or not. I should confess to him how I was feeling, how happy he made me, how I was, even now, dreading him going back to Chicago. Within weeks he’d become a huge part of my life.

“I need to take it slow,” I said, mostly to myself, in an effort to try to calm the jittery vibrations skirting across my skin.

“Not like Ash’s version of slow,” Haven said.

Ash slapped her on the knee. “Hey, it worked out with me and your brother. It just took a little time.” She turned to me. “I think you should go with what you feel, Beth. If it feels good to go fast, go fast. As long as you’re sober and having fun. Isn’t that the most important thing?”