In The Darkness (Project Artemis #1)(27)

A tiny voice whispered what he already suspected for days. He was entirely too close to this case.

To her.

It had happened to him once before. Tanya. He’d let his guard down and fallen in love with her, and what had she gotten for that? A few months of happiness with him before some fuck killed her when he found out she was his informant. It was as bad as if he’d taken her life himself.

He’d made a mistake, and that mistake had gotten her killed. No matter how long he lived, he’d never forgive himself for that. He’d known all the reasons why that was one of the worst things anyone on the job could do, and he still he let himself fall in love.

Falling in love with someone you were trying to save was no different. He knew that. What two people went through when the world was raining shit down on their heads didn’t equal love. Nick didn’t know what it equaled.

Other than the fucking risk of both of them dying because his feelings clouded his judgment. He couldn’t let that happen again.

What he felt for Persephone couldn’t last. Wouldn’t last. And that was before he had to prove to those militia fucks that he was one of them by taking her in that room as they cheered him on.

His chest ached at the very thought of it. As if someone had his heart in a vice, he couldn’t breathe every time he thought about what he’d done.

It didn’t matter that he had to. It didn’t matter that he did it so he could lay claim to her so none of those monsters would. None of that mattered.

All that mattered was how she’d believed in him up until that moment when he looked into her eyes and slowly pushed his hips forward…

Cringing, he shook his head to force himself to stop thinking about it. He fucking did what he did to protect her. It didn’t make him the goddamned man of the year, but it accomplished what he needed it to. They didn’t touch her and at least he knew she was safe.

“I’m hungry.”

The sound of her voice roused him from his horrible mental torture, and he stood up to head to the kitchen. Anything to escape being there with her and his thoughts.

“I’ll get you some of those crackers I found before.”

He hurried out of the room and began to rummage through cabinets as he pretended to look for food. Anything to not have to go back in there to face her so soon. His stomach churned, not from hunger but from disgust. He had no idea how he’d spend the next few hours with her until this case ended.

The sound of footsteps made him turn toward the doorway, and he saw her standing there looking up at him with a confused expression, like she couldn’t imagine what would take so long to find some damn crackers. He closed the cabinet in front of him and walked over to the pantry where he’d found the food earlier.

“I don’t know how old they are, and they’re only saltines,” he said in a low voice, unsure what to fill the empty space with but needing to say something.

Turning around, his gaze met hers. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw hatred even as she patiently waited for him to hand her the box of crackers. It made him stop short and nearly recoil, but he pushed his guilt down for at least that moment.

“Here you go,” he said, handing her the food before he walked past her out into the main room of the cabin.

He hoped she’d stay in the kitchen to eat. Actually, what he really hoped she’d do would be avoid him until they were forced to be together once again in a few hours. He couldn’t afford his emotions getting the best of him, but if she kept looking up at him with those big brown eyes so filled with anger at him, that’s exactly what would happen.

All he needed to do was get her home safely. Once he did that, they could continue on with their separate lives like before all this happened.

Before he sat back down in the chair, he checked the windows in the room to make sure they didn’t have any uninvited guests. Staring out into the darkness, he scanned the area around the cabin but saw nothing moving and no one out there.

They knew by now he’d taken her. They’d be looking for the two of them—her to take back to the house and him to kill for betraying them. The single gun he had wouldn’t be much if they all came at them at once, but he had a feeling most of the militia group didn’t know much about guns other than how to use them in video games to kill those damn zombies.

Drist, on the other hand, knew all too well how to use a weapon. While he may have wielded it mostly to scare the hell out of those unfortunate enough to be around him, Nick knew better than to fool himself into thinking the guy didn’t have experience with guns. He and Persephone would probably be okay if one of the others found them, but if Drist caught up with them, he’d be more than happy to take a shot at him. He might even shoot her. The guy didn’t seem as committed to the militia’s cause or Persephone’s kidnapping as he was to just wanting to hurt people.

Nick took a deep breath as the thought of that fuck hurting Persephone settled into his brain. No way. He may not have been able to make up for what he did to her, but he could make damn sure none of those sons of bitches got to her while he was around.

“What are you looking at?”

He tugged the drapes closed and shook his head. “Nothing. Just wanted to make sure we haven’t been followed here.”

She lifted a saltine to her mouth and took a bite. “Oh. Okay. There’s no one out there then?”