Idol (VIP, #1)(61)

If I hadn’t already had sex with Killian, I’d think this was the most addictive thing in the world. Because, in this moment, I’m not Libby, the woman who has fears or doubts, who worries about where she’s going in life or where she’s been. In this moment, I’m just me, in my most basic version.

There is freedom in that. Joy.

It’s the long crash down that sucks. Every time a concert ends, I’m disoriented, buzzing, and slightly dizzy. There’s one thing that truly breaks the tension and brings me back to reality. Unfortunately, it’s also the riskiest.

The risk doesn’t stop me, though. Or Killian. We both need it too badly.

Minutes later, we’re hidden in a storage closet that smells of Lysol, and I’m bent over a stack of old amps, Killian buried deep inside me. His big, rough hands cup my breasts as he thrusts hard and fast. Frantic, his hips meet my ass with a slap, slap, slap, the sound mixing with our muffled grunts.

The way he fills me, wide and thick, each thrust hits a spot within that I feel in my throat, in my toes. Cool heat ripples down my back, up my thighs. So good.

I push back, meeting halfway, needing the hard hit of him.

“Jesus,” he grunts, his hips jerking. “That’s it. Show me how much you f*cking love this.”

Faster, harder. It almost hurts. But it isn’t enough.

We’re too in tune for him not to notice my distress. He jerks a hand out from underneath my top, nearly tearing it. His fingers slide between my legs, find my clit. It doesn’t take much. I’m so primed, my clit so swollen, that he merely has to tap it, give it a little flick like he’s playing my body. And I go off.

I bite my lip, holding in my scream. He’s in so deep, his cock so big, that I feel myself pulse around him. He feels it too, because he groans long and low, arching his hips into me as he comes. For a second, we’re suspended there, straining against each other in search of our own pleasure. Then all that tension drains out in a mutual sigh.

Killian’s body sprawls on top of mine, our panting in sync. Our fingers twine as we struggle to regain our breath. I come back to myself in stages, clarity of vision first, then the scent of our sweat mixing with cleaning supplies and must, the meaty girth of Killian’s cock still lodged inside of me, and…

“There’s a wet rag under my cheek.” I wrench my head away.

Killian peers over my shoulder and snorts. The sound of it sets me off, and we both start laughing. Well, I’m laughing and also a bit disgusted, because my face was in a dirty rag.

“You were on the rag,” Killian snickers, his chest shaking against my back.

“Ugh, that was bad. Just bad. The worst joke ever.” Still, I’m laughing. Part of it is the release, but most of it is as simple as the fact that Killian makes me happy.

He eases me to standing, his arms warping around my shoulders, his cock slipping out of me. “I have more where that came from.”

“No doubt.” I rest my head in the crook of his arm.

His breath is warm as he kisses my temple and gives me a squeeze, then steps back to tuck himself into his jeans. I don’t know where he put the condom, but I’d rather keep that mystery and focus on the lean wall of his chest. Absently, I trace a line on his tattoo. “We better get back. This was crazy. Someone is going to notice.”

“Naw,” he says with a wink. “They’re all off doing the same.”

“They are? How do you know?”

“The need to f*ck after a show is pretty common. It’s what we all do. You know, find a willing…” His words end on a strangled cough, and he scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks flushing.

“Right. Of course.” My fingers fumble with my top, smoothing out the rumpled lines from where his hands invaded.

Killian steps close, his hands clasping my upper arms. “Hey, stop.”

I glance at him. “What?”

The corners of his eyes crease in agitation. “I shouldn’t have brought that shit up. I did those things in my past. My present is all you.”

“Believe me,” I manage to get out, “I have no interest in thinking about your past. I know it has nothing to do with us.”

He frowns, his gaze darting over my face. “Then why are you upset? And I can tell when you are, so don’t deny it.”

Killian, the mind reader. I roll my eyes, trying to shake him off. He won’t let me go.

“I’m not jealous.” Much. Okay, I hate thinking about him with other women. Sue me. “It’s just…is that what we’re doing? Using each other to get off?”

“No,” he says calmly. “I’m making sweet, sweet love to you. In a supply closet.” His dark eyes glint. “On a rag.”

“You just had to get that in there, didn’t you?” I sigh and push a hunk of my hair back from my face. “You know what? It’s stupid. I’m the one who practically mauls you every time we end a set.”

“I like it when you maul me.” Killian waggles his brows.

Despite my mood, I snicker before sobering. “I just… It suddenly felt a little seedy when you said that. As if you’d be doing this regardless.” Would I too? No, I can’t imagine having sex with anyone else.

Killian’s expression goes serious as he cups my cheeks. He doesn’t say anything as he kisses me, no tongue, just his lips mapping mine with tender care. When he pulls back his gaze is intent. “We are never seedy. Dirty, kinky, hot, sweet, okay. But never seedy. And if I didn’t have you tonight, I’d go jerk off somewhere.”