I Love How You Love Me(The Sullivans)(65)

“Never. I would never hate you. You’re right that I’ve always been free to do whatever I want, to go wherever I want, to live life as an adventure. Now I want to live those adventures with you and Mason.”

For a moment he thought she might let herself believe that what he was saying was really true, but then she shook her head. “I’ve seen how determined you are, the way you manage to move heaven and earth to turn your dreams into reality. And you’ll never know how much I admire you for it. Or how much I wish I could be like you. But I’ve only just started to get my life back together. And I’ve got a baby to take care of, to find a playgroup for, to enroll into preschool soon. What if I let you give up your freedom for us and then the land starts closing in around you? What if you plan a trip, a badly needed sail so that you can reconnect with who you really are, and then it turns out you can’t go because you have to be here for something with Mason? Then you’ll resent us both.”

“Grace—”

“Mason and I are just starting to set down roots. Roots we desperately need. Roots I would never forgive myself for if all they did was bind you up.”

“The only thing I would ever resent,” he told her, “the only thing that would ever make me upset, is losing you. Losing Mason. I’m ready for this, ready for change, ready to learn how to operate as three instead of just one.” He prayed his heartfelt words were getting through as he said, “Being with you, having a child—or, hopefully, more than one—doesn’t mean I’ll never get out on the water again. Of course I will. With my wife. My son. A daughter, too, if we’re lucky.”

“You don’t even know if I can sail,” she protested. “Maybe I’ll only get in the way out on the water.”

“I’ve seen you navigate meeting my family. And today, the way you dealt so bravely, so brilliantly, with your ex. You’ll be a natural out on the water, Grace. Mason will, too.” He reached for her, pressed her hands to his chest, right over his heart. “Give us a chance to figure all this out together as a team.”

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you.” Tears were spilling down her cheeks. “It was just supposed to be me and Mason. I planned to do anything, everything, I could to keep him safe. But then you came into our lives and turned everything upside down so fast. Too fast.”

Dylan knew why she was reeling, understood that her ex appearing out of the blue combined with thinking she might be pregnant again had dragged up all of her fears, all of her worries, all of her trust issues. Especially when she already felt as though her feelings for him were spiraling out of her control.

But just because he understood didn’t mean he wasn’t beyond frustrated. He wished he could just keep talking to her until he’d convinced her to see things his way. But all he could do, for tonight at least, was draw her into his arms and hold her for as long as she would let him.


She didn’t break down in tears again, simply held on tight as he felt her gather her strength. He didn’t know how long they’d been standing together in the middle of her living room when Mason woke up, crying.

“I have to go get Mason.” She had already drawn back from Dylan’s arms, far too quickly for his peace of mind. “I got him down too late for his nap today and now everything’s off.”

Before, she would have invited him into the bedroom to soothe Mason. Would have let him lift Mason out of the crib and into his arms. But now, she was simply waiting for him to leave.

“Tomorrow,” he said, desperate to know that leaving now didn’t mean never seeing her again. Desperate to have some time to think of a way to persuade her to change her mind about taking a risk in loving him. “We were going to do the sail tomorrow. The missing piece for your story.”

“Your mother was going to watch Mason, but now—”

“She loves him, Grace. You know that. Nothing that happens between you and me is going to change that. Let her watch him tomorrow while we go sailing.”

Mason wailed again from his crib, louder this time, and the sound pierced Dylan’s heart. God, how he hated not being able to go to him, to comfort the little boy whom he’d been praying would soon be his.

“Okay,” she said quickly. “I’ll meet you at your boathouse at three o’clock. But I need to get Mason now. And I want to make sure that I lock up behind you.”

Which meant she needed him to leave.

But when she opened the door for him a few seconds later, even though he knew he had no choice but to go, there was something he needed her to know. “I told you before that I’d never experienced heartbreak, never truly regretted anything. But now I know that if you don’t let yourself love me back, I’ll finally be broken. And I’ll never stop regretting losing you and Mason.”



* * *

Dylan’s phone was ringing on the front seat of the Jeep, where he’d left it. When he saw his brother Rafe’s name on the screen, he immediately picked up.

“Richard Bentley is in Seattle,” Rafe said without preamble. “I’ve called you a half-dozen times in the past hour to try to tell you. Where the hell were you?”

“With Grace. Dealing with the aftermath of his visit. He threatened her and tried to make her hand over Mason.”

Rafe swore. “Is she—”