Hush (Black Lotus #3)(31)

After I hang up with Davina, I walk into the office where Declan is. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Did you get ahold of her?”

“Yes. She’s on her way to pick me up.”

“What do you want to talk about?” he asks as he gets up from his desk and motions me over to join him on the leather couch that sits in the corner of the room next to the large windows.

“The penthouse in Chicago. I want to sell it,” I tell him. “I’ll never live there again. I wish I could erase all of its memories, but I can’t, so let’s just get rid of it.”

“I’ll take care it. All of it,” he assures without any question.

“I need to go back though. There are a few things I need that were gifts from Pike.”

“Okay. I’ll put a call into Sotheby’s to see what needs to be done to get it on the market,” he says, taking all the pressure of having to deal with this off my back. “We can go straight there when we land to get it over with so it won’t be weighing on you.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to come with me.”

“That place is filled with awful memories for me as well. Memories I too wish I could erase, but I’m not having you go there alone to face it all by yourself.”

I sling my arms around him, so thankful because he’s right—I know how painful it’s going to be to walk through those doors again. It’s the tainted sanctuary of ghosts from the past few years. It’s Bennett, it’s purple roses, it’s all the disgusting moments I gave that piece of shit my body, it’s where I saw the monster in my brother’s eyes for the first time, it’s where my baby died, and it’s where Declan’s spirit forever changed when he murdered Bennett in cold-blooded rage. It’s the coffin that holds so many skeletons. I’d burn it to ashes if I could.

“It’s one chapter of our past we can close. Just look at it that way.” Once again, he is doing what he can to eliminate the pain we both feel about that place, the place he dreaded to send me back to after our time together, thinking Bennett was violently beating me.

So many lies.

So much bloodshed.

But without it, I never would have found Declan. So I’ll bear its torture that singes my heart.




The day is just warm enough to go without a coat. I tilt my head back, looking up to the brilliant blue sky. The sun’s rays heat my face while I breathe the crisp air deep into my lungs, and I swear I feel its particles cleansing me.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Davina asks as we stand in the middle of Piccadilly Circus.

Declan was right, I needed out of the confines of One Hyde Place. I needed sunshine and fresh air. I needed to feel this breeze whipping through my hair, to see that even though life seems to pause, it doesn’t ever truly stop.

The streets are a cascade of people walking in every direction. Davina takes a phone call and I walk up the steps of the Shaftesbury fountain. A swell of freedom erupts when I reach the top step. I’ve seen grand landmarks in the States, but only with Bennett or because of him. Although he gave me all the freedom I wanted, I wasn’t truly free. I was living in his life as his wife.

But here I stand.

No longer having to pretend.

No longer a prisoner to my own game.

And even though Declan keeps me safely under his thumb, I’ve never felt more boundless. So much so that if I lifted my arms right now, I bet I could fly.

“It’ll only get better from this point.”

I scan the throngs of people, searching, and then I spot him.

I gasp.

He isn’t thirty-two years old. He’s the twelve-year-old boy from our childhood. He stands beneath the colorful lights of the billboards, staring at me. Acutely aware of Davina’s presence at the bottom of the fountain, I slip on my sunglasses to shield my heart’s ache that puddles in my eyes. Davina’s buried in her phone at the moment. I want to run to him, but everyone would think I was crazy.

My heart jumps to life. I’m giving him this, something we were both deprived of as kids, and because I’ve kept him alive, I can now give him all the joys that come my way. We can share them together.

He looks up at the bright lights, his boyish eyes filled with wonderment, and I smile. Turning to look at me, elation plastered on his face, he waves to me from a distance. In return I give the little boy who did everything he could to save me from the devil in the basement a subtle wave back.

“Sorry about that,” Davina says, drawing my attention away from my brother as she shoves her phone down into her purse.

I smile, hiding my grief behind the dark lenses.

“You ready?”

“Yes,” I respond, walking down the steps and taking one last look over to Pike, but he’s gone. I tell myself he’ll come back, because he always does.

Davina and I walk together to Bond Street where she assures me there is amazing shopping, and she’s spot on. It’s all the designers that still hang in my closet back at The Legacy. Familiar friends greet me as I pass them: Chanel, Jimmy Choo, Hermés. They’re all here, reminding me of how I used them to deceive others.

“Here we are,” she says, opening the door to Fenwick.

I walk inside the high-end luxury department store that Davina insists has a nice selection of less expensive designers as well. I told her I didn’t need anything fancy, just your typical, everyday wear.