Hudson(96)

Except I came home from Japan earlier tonight and reunited with Alayna, so my bed should not be empty. I’m so in tune with her that, despite several days apart, her absence can be felt even in my sleep.

I find her in the bathroom, staring in the mirror, her face pale and eyes wide. “What’s wrong?”

She jumps slightly at my voice, then peers over her shoulder at me. I don’t miss that she scans my naked body. My di**ck thickens a bit at her eyes, yet I ignore it, crossing to her. “Are you okay?”

There’s a moment of hesitancy before she says, “I just had a bad dream, and now I can’t sleep.”

Her reluctance to say more worries me. It’s only a dream, but after everything we’ve just been through, we have to be more open with each other. I need her to share this with me, if for no other reason than to feel like we are making progress.

I prod her gently. “Want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head then says, “Yes. But later.”

That, I can live with. Meanwhile, I start her a bath and agree without pause when she invites me to join her.

A few minutes later, we’re settled in a warm tub, Alayna sitting between my legs, her back to my chest. I hold her and think for the first time in my life that I understand happiness. It’s a truly different feeling than being sexually sated. We are naked, and I’m definitely aroused. I’ll have to be inside her before our bath is over. I’ll need to lick the wet drops of water from her breasts, need to fill her tight * with my cock. But it’s not a requirement. Touching her, holding her, being in her world—that’s where this peaceful bliss originates.

Also, we talk. We connect with words. It’s a strange thing for both of us to communicate openly, without fear of judgment, without regret. It will take getting used to, but we begin to try. I’m profoundly excited about this new start.

I even begin to forget about the one secret that I’ve held from her. I’ve worried whether I should tell her, then I’ve worried she’d find out. Now the worry starts to fade. Perhaps it’s not that big of an issue. I can keep it buried, and, as I learn to live with it, I can maybe stop letting it affect the way I am with Alayna. Possibly I could tell her how I really feel. Tell her that I love her without the guilt preventing the words.

But then Alayna asks a very unexpected question. “What happened between you and Stacy?”

“Stacy?” It takes me a minute to figure out who Stacy is. Then I realize she means the girl who works with Mirabelle at her boutique. “Nothing happened.” I’m baffled she’d think there was anything between us. “What do you mean? Like did I date her? I took her to a charity event a year or so ago. But after that, nothing. And I didn’t sleep with her.”

Alayna doesn’t seem to be comforted. “Is there a reason she’d have a vendetta against you? Or reason to distrust you?”

I shake my head. “Not that I can think of.”

Except that’s not true, because suddenly I can think of a very valid reason why she wouldn’t trust me. Celia had played her. And when she did, she had used my persona for her scheme.

I should tell Alayna. There’s no reason to keep it from her. It wasn’t even me who played her. Well, that’s not entirely true either. I’d let Celia use my persona. And, in the end, I’d participated. I told myself it was to put an end to the scam, but I had enjoyed the rush of the game, just as Dr. Alberts had led me to realize.

Whatever the reason—the guilt of my participation, the newness of being so open—I’m not ready to share it with Alayna. Not yet. Not until I understand the reason for her interest. “Why are you asking?”

She takes a deep breath. “The last time we were at Mira’s, Stacy told me that she had some sort of video. A video that proved something or other about you and Celia. She didn’t have it with her, so I gave her my phone number so she could contact me later.”

And just like that, the peaceful place I’d discovered is disturbed. What the f**k video could Stacy have? Something from that night? Something after? Did Stacy know about our plot with Alayna? There was no way she could, but if Celia had given her something…recorded a conversation or something…

These were paranoid thoughts. Liars and schemers learn that’s the only way to stay a step ahead of discovery. I’d believed I was past this. I’m disappointed to find that I’m not.

I stall the conversation as much as I can as I try to get my balance. Then she asks point blank, “Do you know what she’s talking about?”

“No idea.” And I don’t. Not really. “She didn’t tell you what the video was of?”

“No. Just that she had it, and that it would show me why I couldn’t trust you. And she texted me again tonight. Or sometime this past week when I didn’t have a phone, and I didn’t get the message until tonight.”

Though the water is still warm, the hairs on my arms stand straight up, as if I’d been thrown into ice. It’s possible that Stacy has proof of something in the past which Alayna is already aware of. But what if it’s something else? “What did her text say?”

“That the video was too big to send over the phone but to contact her if I wanted to see it.”

I’m frightened. I would never say that aloud, but I can admit that to myself. I’m scared that I will lose Alayna. I don’t know how to deal with that fear. I’m not one who cowers.