Hudson(54)

But if she is, it’s a bad idea for me to pursue it, and an even worse idea to let Celia know. So I limit my contact with Alayna to hand-holding, even though I am just as desperate to touch her as it seems she is to touch me. As the music plays, I convince myself a million times that I will not take her back to the loft. And just as many times, I convince myself I will. Whichever will win, I don’t know, but at least Celia won’t be privy to it.

After the concert, we all walk to the parking garage together. I keep my arm around Alayna, but I can’t look at her. The touching is supposed to be show, but if she peers into my eyes, I’m afraid she’ll see how very real this all is for me. I’m afraid it will be witnessed by my partner in crime. It’s a balancing act that I manage but only barely.

At my car, I put Alayna in the passenger seat and then say goodbye to the Werners. Celia leans in to hug me. “You’ve backed off. I’m impressed,” she whispers in my ear.

“I could say the same.” I whisper back, though I doubt that she’s backed off anything and I’m not at all impressed. She laughs. My gut constricts at the sound. She takes such pleasure in this game while I’m struggling, playing both sides.

But I don’t want to think about Celia any longer. Now I get to be alone with Alayna, and I have to decide what that’s going to mean.

We’re quiet as we drive out of the garage, snippets of the symphony replaying in my mind. I use this time to let go of the tension the evening has caused. I also resume the internal war—do I take her to her home or to the loft? From what I can read of Alayna, she’s equally conflicted. Since she’s unaware of all the risks involved in our relationship, it’s up to me to make the informed decision.

I’ve made up my mind by the time we’ve gotten to the road. It’s not a decision that makes me completely comfortable, but it’s the only one I can live with.

While I’m working out how to tell Alayna, she breaks the silence. “So you knew Celia would be there tonight.”

Her tone is harsh, and it surprises me.

“I knew Celia would be there with her parents, yes.” I throw a glance at her, trying to understand her angle. “Her parents, whom are friends with my parents, remember.”

She’s upset with me. I’m not sure why. Or she’s upset with herself. She knocks her head softly against the window, and I catch her dabbing at a tear.




“What’s wrong?” Maybe there was more to the restroom trip with Celia and Madge than I realized. I’m already making plans of what I’ll do to Celia next time I see her.

But Alayna surprises me again. “I want you,” she whispers into the glass.

She’s said it so quietly that I doubt what I heard. “Alayna?”

“I know what I said.” She wipes her eyes. “But maybe I was wrong. I mean, I don’t know if you’re right—if spending time with you can make me better. But I know that since we’ve been apart, I’ve been worse.” She looks at me and there’s the light again. The light I’ve been longing for that shines only in her eyes.

“I miss you.” She giggles. “Told you I get attached.”

I’m relieved. I’d made the right decision, and even more comforting is that she’s admitted she’s attached. I don’t even care what that means for Celia’s scam. Because what it means for me is everything.

I can’t hide my delight. “Where do you think I’m taking you?”

She looks out the window. I can tell the exact moment she realizes we’re headed for the loft. A blush shades her cheeks. “Oh.”

Then she thinks about it more. “I told you no more sex, and you were taking me to the loft without asking?” Irritation’s spun with her words.

“Alayna,” I sigh. God, our situation is frustrating. She’s frustrating. “You are a bundle of mixed signals. At the symphony, you seemed to indicate—”

“And you totally blew me off. Don’t talk to me about mixed signals!”

Of course that’s what she thinks. She didn’t understand my motives. How could she?

I rest a hand on her knee. “I was trying to avoid mixing business with pleasure. A difficult task with you, precious.” I need her to know how she affects me. I would prefer to show her, but since I’m driving, I have to try words. “Especially with your wandering hands and how hot you look in that dress.”

She softens. “Oh.”

“If you want me to ask, I will, though you know it’s not my style.” She stares at me, wide eyed, so I force myself to ask what I never ask. “May I take you to my bed, Alayna?”

“Yes,” she moans, and I’ve never been so grateful for a traffic light. I pull her to me. I’m greedy with my kiss. Forget manners or niceties. I’m going to f**k her how we both need to f**k tonight—with desperation and need. This kiss is the prelude.

A horn interrupts us, prodding me to drive. My di**ck is as hard as stone, and I can barely concentrate, but somehow I manage to get to the Pierce Industries building without killing us. I hand my keys to the valet. Then we’re in the elevator. We tease each other on the ride up, and as soon as we’re in the loft, I have her pressed against the wall. I cradle her face with my hands, and I kiss her. Greedily, hungrily, with abandon.