How to Save a Life(51)

It’s too late for me. Too late…

An echo of Evan’s words resounded in my mind. “You’re the bravest girl I’ve ever known…”

It took every shred of courage I had left to walk to the old inn. I made myself small and invisible. Shoulders hunched, arms crossed, head down.

I walked straight into Evan.

He gripped my shoulders as I rocked back, studying me. I looked up into the blue of his eyes. They were brimming with emotion and longing. So much longing. I felt it like a pull between us, drawing me to him, to fall against him and be held by him again, and make those four years between us vanish.

But he was too good and pure. Even more so when contrasted against Lee. Evan didn’t belong here and I didn’t belong with him. Not anymore.

“You can’t stay,” I said. “If they see you, they’ll hurt you.”

“Who?”

“Lee. And his friends.”

“His name is Lee.” It wasn’t a question.

I watched his gaze take me in, reading the story of the last few years written on my body. My cut lip. A scar above my eye that hadn’t been there in high school. The clothes hanging on my bones. I watched as he drew his own conclusions, pain darkening his sky blue eyes to gray.

“We’re leaving,” he said. “Right now.”

“Leaving? Wait…how did you find me?”

“Is that what you really want to ask right now? Get in the truck, Jo. I’m getting you out of here.”

I blinked, my throat dry. “You… You want me to drop everything and just skip town with you?”

“Yes.”

“Evan, I haven’t seen you in four years. I don’t know you…You don’t know me anymore.”

“I know you, Jo,” Evan said. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere safe.”

“Where is safe? And I have no money,” I said, my voice cracking. “He takes my money. I work. I work so hard and he takes it all. I have nothing on hand. Just a little savings a friend is holding for me.”

Evan moved closer to me his voice soft and gentle. “I have the money I saved up to get out of Planerville after graduation. I have it and it’s our money now. Come with me, Jo. Or at least tell me what’s keeping you here.”

“Nothing,” I whispered. “I wish I could tell you someone needs me. But nobody needs me.”

“I need you.”

“I’m scared, Evan. And worn down. I’m so f*cking exhausted I can’t see straight.”

“I know you are, Jo. You have to leave him. Enough. No more.”

“But then what? I’ve been out there before. You don’t know what I’ve been through. I can’t do it alone again with nothing…”

“You won’t have nothing and you’re not alone,” Evan said. “You have me. This is me, Jo. Remember?”

I staggered back a step, remembering. I could hardly breathe. Evan back in my life again… Like being offered the richest food and the warmest clothes after four years of being hungry and cold.

“I can’t force you to come with me,” Evan said. “But I can’t leave you with him either. I won’t. You’re going somewhere today, Jo. You choose.”

This was happening. I was too overwhelmed to fully contemplate it. It was either crack a joke or crack up. I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “So you’re my knight in shining armor? Riding into this shit town on a white horse to save me?”

Evan grinned a little. “No horse. How about a beat up old Chevy?”

I started to laugh but it came out sounding more like a sob. “I feel so jumbled up. I don’t know what to think.”

“You don’t have to work everything out right now. Just come with me. Get somewhere safe and quiet. We’ll talk more and I’ll explain everything. But we have to leave now.”

I lifted my eyes to his, felt that warmth of his attention wrap around me. With Evan I had been brave. Beautiful.

“I need to pack,” I blurted. “If I’m going with you I need to pack, right? God, this surreal.”

“No packing. Let’s just go. I’ll get you anything you need…”

“No,” I said, thinking of my blue and black plaid shirt. His shirt. “There’s stuff I need. My stuff. I don’t have much but I need it. It’s all I have.”

He nodded reluctantly. “I’ll go with you…”

“No. I’ll meet you back here in half an hour.”

“Jo…”

“He’s not home now. He should be at work. It’s safe. But no matter what, if I’m going to leave with you, I have to do one part of it on my own. One tiny f*cking part, because I couldn’t do it before…” I heaved a breath, wiped my eyes, pulled myself together as best I could. “Half an hour.”

“Half an hour,” Evan agreed, though he had to spit the words from behind a tense jaw.

I started to go then stopped. Slowly, I reached out my hand, fingers trembling, and laid it on his cheek. I felt his warm skin, the scratch of his stubble, and the muscle move under my palm as he sighed at my touch.

“You’re here,” I whispered. “This is real?”