How to Fail at Flirting(7)

He grinned. “Her arms will be tired.”

I scrunched my nose and shook my head. “That was awful.”

He chuckled again, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “Bad jokes are my thing.” He paused, taking in my reaction before asking, “Not even a pity laugh?”

“I couldn’t in good conscience.” I smiled, swallowing the last of my drink and slipping the sweater off my shoulders. I’d consumed the second gin and tonic quickly, and my smile emerged without me thinking. “What about you? Here for business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure, I suppose.”

My cheeks heated, but I was confident he wouldn’t notice in the bar’s low light. I blamed my empty stomach and the gin for the image that ran, unbidden, through my head. After only a brief conversation with this guy, my mind was conjuring something worthy of Cinemax late night. I do need to break this dry spell.

The rich tone of his voice wasn’t helping. “I’m here for a friend’s wedding. Might get a little work in, too. You know, two birds, one flight.”

My phone vibrated.

    Felicia: UR gonna kill me! Miles and Ari both got sick—Vomit-palooza hit me on my way out the door.



“Sorry, it’s my friend,” I said before tapping out a reply.

    Naya: Vomit or illness hit you?

Felicia: Both. It’s like the girl from the Exorcist ate gas station sushi. I can’t leave the babysitter with this and Aaron had to go be with his mom.



Jake looked over at me. “Everything okay?”

“My friend’s twin boys are sick and she’s telling me about it in graphic detail,” I said, meeting his eye. “I guess she’s not coming.”

“That’s too bad.” He took a sip from his glass and looked at the TV screen above the bar.

    Felicia: I’m so sorry, Turner.

Naya: Do you need me to help?

Felicia: Stay away. I would hate to get sick on your shoes. Though, I’ve seen your shoes. Might be an improvement.

Naya: They’re new. But let me know if you need anything.



I glanced back at Jake staring at the baseball game and tipped my glass to take a cube of ice into my mouth. I paused, crunching. Part of me hoped that Felicia would hold me to sticking to the list. “I guess that’s my cue to go.”

His knee bumped mine as he turned to face me. His glance flicked down to the bare skin above my breasts and then back up. I should have been offended, but I liked that he saw me. “You could always stay and keep a lonely guy company.”

My body stirred, heat spreading. Two drinks that fast on an empty stomach was probably a mistake, and he was asking me to keep him company. Is that code?

Jake winced in response to my awkward silence. “Too cheesy? I’m sorry.”

“No. I mean . . . yeah, it was cheesy,” I said, resettling on my seat. “But that’s not a bad thing.”

He signaled for the bartender, then tilted his head toward me. “Another?”

“Why not?”

“Another for the lady,” he added, to the distracted bartender.

The corners of Jake’s lips curled, revealing tiny dimples and laugh lines at the edge of his mouth. He leaned close, making it easier for me to hear him over the bar noise, and when the bartender set down my drink, just a little splashed over the side this time.

Let someone buy me a drink.

“Check,” I said under my breath.

“Check?” He cocked his head. “Oh, my treat. Unless . . . do you have to go?”

“No, sorry. It’s silly.”

“I like silly.”

“It’s really silly,” I insisted, taking a sip.

“I like really silly,” he said, his light-colored eyes dancing. “C’mon. I gave you my best bad joke. It’s only fair.”

“My friends thought I needed coaching on how to get a life. They made me a to-do list.” God, why am I telling him this?

“And you checked something off the list?”

“Yes,” I admitted, taking another sip from my drink to avoid eye contact.

“What was it?”

“Let someone buy me a drink.”

“Glad to be of service.” His lips turned up. “What else is on this list?”

“I’m usually a homebody. All the items lead to me acting a bit irresponsible.” Like giving all this information to a complete stranger who could be a serial killer.

The royal blue fabric of his shirt stretched across well-developed pecs and a flat stomach I kind of wanted to reach out and touch. He toyed with a coaster on the bar and eyed the horde of women over my shoulder. A Tuesday seemed a strange night for a bachelorette party, but our initial subject, the blonde, had donned a veil and a tiara made of tiny pink plastic penises dotted with rhinestones that glowed and sparkled as someone snapped a photo using the flash. I wonder how buying that impacted her recommendations on Amazon.

“I could help you check other things off.”

Want to join me in a dark corner? I smiled at the bold voice in my head, and my knee shook under the bar.

“I shouldn’t monopolize your night.” I checked my phone, and I groaned internally. Barely eight o’clock. Normally, I’d be in my pajamas.