Hothouse Flower (Addicted #4)(67)

I miscalculated how pissed Connor is tonight. He was right. He’s truly f*cking angry, and he’s on the offensive. “You should have told someone about her sleeping issues,” he says. “I thought you, out of all people, would be more concerned about her health. I thought you would have run to her sisters with the news. I thought you’d do anything to ensure Daisy’s safety and protection.”

“I f*cking did!” I shout. Some people sleeping in the waiting room begin to stir.

“Then why does no one know?”

“She didn’t want to tell a f*cking soul,” I say. “Rose and Lily had their own shit to deal with. She didn’t want to worry her mother or you or anyone with these problems. She wanted to f*cking deal with it in private.”

Connor processes this for a second before he asks, “And how long has she been dealing with this, Ryke?”

I shake my head at him. “It wasn’t one singular event. It’s been an accumulation of things.”

“How long?”

I can’t hide it from him. “Over a year.”

His eyes begin to glass, but he nods repeatedly. “It was all the media, wasn’t it? The paparazzi that broke into her room, the guy that destroyed her bike and assaulted her—it all got to her more than she let on.”

“That was the start of it.”

“Rose is going to be so upset that she didn’t pay enough attention to her.” Connor blows out a deep breath, as though he can feel his wife’s pain from this and she still has no idea. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner, to be honest.”

I roll my eyes. “This stays between us. Daisy has to be the one to tell her sisters.”

He nods in agreement. “Has she been to a doctor?”

“Before she left for Paris, she was seeing a therapist regularly, and she’s been through her fair share of sleep studies.” I list out all the information I know he’ll ask. No one has given her much of a solution to resolve her insomnia besides medication and therapy. She just has to cross her f*cking fingers that one day she’ll grow out of this.

Connor takes out his phone and starts typing. “I need the names of all her doctors and her therapist.”

“You sound like Rose.”

“I’m serious. I want to make sure you took her to the best—”

“Connor,” I cut him off, “she’s my f*cking girlfriend. I’ve triple f*cking checked every person she’s been seeing. I don’t need you to do my job for me. I’m more than capable of taking care of her.”

He hesitates before pocketing his phone, and then he stares at me with more respect than when this conversation started. “So you put a label on your relationship?”

I nod. “Yeah, we did.” My nose flares as I hold back emotion. She’s in a f*cking hospital room, maybe fighting for her life. What wrong decisions did I make to put her there? Where did I f*ck up?

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I chose to never meet my brother. If I chose to keep my head buried in the sand.

My mom would have never known about Lily’s sex addiction.

She would have never shouted it to the f*cking world.

No media.

Daisy would sleep peacefully.

Lily wouldn’t feel so f*cking ashamed.

Connor and Rose wouldn’t have their sex life distributed online.

And my brother—I think he’d still be drinking.

I take a deep breath, the night saddling me with more regret than I’m used to bearing. “I haven’t always done the right thing, Connor,” I say. “I’m not perfect. But I’m trying so hard to look after my brother and her. But if I’m hurting them, then you need to tell me right now.” I meet his gaze—no pretenses. No jokes. The severity in our postures makes it hard to breathe. And I tell him something from my f*cking soul. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s life by being in it. That was never my intention.”

Connor lets out an exhausted laugh, and tears actually brim his eyes. “Ryke…” He shakes his head and rubs his lips. He drops his hand. “You ran with her in your arms for over three miles. Your brother’s existence caused your parent’s divorce, and yet, you gave up most of your time and energy to help him through his sobriety. How can you possibly think you’re a pain in their life? What you’ve done for them, it’s nothing short of heroic, and if you can’t see that, then you’re blind, my friend.”

A hot tear rolls down my cheek.

I’m so f*cking tired of being alone. I was scared that he’d tell me to f*cking leave. Because that means going back to a life I can’t see for myself anymore. Daisy has changed that for me. She made me comfortable to share my life with someone else, to live for happiness in the company of others. My solitary future looks bleak. But my future filled with my brother, my friends, her—there’s nothing f*cking brighter.

She’s the sun. I’m the dark.

If she’s gone, I can kiss that f*cking light away.

Without her, I know I’ll never see it again.





< 27 >

DAISY CALLOWAY



I open my eyes, disoriented. My vision blurs, everything out of focus. I blink sluggishly, my arms and legs heavy. My mind hasn’t processed anything beyond my physical abnormalities—the lightness of my head, the numbness along my face, the tingling in my fingers.