Horde (Razorland #3)(83)

My throat tightened. “Stalker wasn’t always a good person, but he was a fierce warrior, and he died well. Good hunting, my friend.”

The men echoed it with one final battle cry, and then the gravediggers shoveled dirt on his casket. Howe set his hand on my shoulder. “I owe you. I doubt we’d have made it back in one piece without your men. So let me show you to your lodgings.”

The last time we were here, they left us to fend for ourselves, but today, we received a heroes’ welcome. The townsfolk offered us the town hall for our barracks and ladies of all ages promised to deliver warm crocks of food before the sun set. Before that, however, the local pubs sent us jugs of watered wine. I didn’t want drunks on my squad, as they tended to be loud and uncoordinated, but if any occasion called for some indulgence, it was this one.

It had been a devil of a week.

Once we were settled in the great room, I gave the orders in a monotone. “Get comfortable, men. Try not to think about the ones we lost. They died as they chose. Not every man gets to say that.”

“True enough,” Thornton answered. “I hope I go out half as well.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Spence said.

They all raised their mugs, and I went over to Tegan, who still wore that odd, frozen look. “Anything I can do?”

She covered her face with her hands. “I shouldn’t have come. That invitation from Dr. Wilson was a sign, and I ignored it. If I’d stayed in Winterville, Stalker would still be alive.”

“You can’t know that,” I said firmly.

Fade joined us, folding down into a cross-legged position. “Deuce’s right.”

Tegan clenched a fist and banged it on her knee. “There was a time when this was all I thought about. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to understand how much I suffered at their hands. Sometimes I fantasized about his death. But … I never imagined it would be for me.”

I couldn’t decide what to say, but before I made it worse, she went on, “I’d appreciate it if you gave me a little time to make sense of things. I’ll be all right.”

Since that was obviously a dismissal, Fade stood and pulled me to my feet. I went over to Thornton and said softly, “I need some air. You’re in charge until I get back.”

The older man nodded. “I doubt these boys are going anywhere. They’re tired and hungry, waiting on the food we were promised.”

“I’m sure it’ll be here soon. Vince Howe seemed serious about looking out for us.”

“We did him a good turn and he knows it. If honor means anything here in Lorraine, he won’t go back on his word.”

I was counting on that. Hurt expanded in my chest, until I felt like I’d choke if I didn’t get away for a while, away from promises and expectations, away from death. Fade followed me out of the town hall, his steps echoing after mine. I ran through the twilight, attracting strange looks from the people going about their business, until I arrived at the graveyard where we’d left Stalker. The men were gone, and the hole was filled in. They had planted a rectangular stone, which they promised would bear his name soon enough. A man with a chisel would cut the rock away until he shaped it just right.

Dropping down beside his grave, I cried as I hadn’t even when I held my friend’s body in my arms. The sobs tore out of me, loud against the quiet night. Fade knelt and wrapped his arms around me, so I sealed my face against his shoulder, hoping to muffle some of the noise. He didn’t try to quiet me, offering only silence and warmth. When I calmed, I noticed his hands stroking down my back.

“Better?” he asked at length.

“Not really. But I can handle it now.”

“I didn’t like him,” he said quietly, “but I’m sorry you lost a friend.”

“He won’t be the last, I fear. And I couldn’t stand it if you—”

Fade silenced me with his mouth; this wasn’t a hungry, taking kiss, but one that gave back comfort and tenderness, soothing my inner ache. This wasn’t the place for such things, however, so I struggled to my feet and dusted off my knees. The ache might never go away, but I was strong enough to swallow it down and remember how a Huntress should respond. Lately, I was more girl than Huntress, and it was making my job more complicated. Down below, I would’ve reacted less emotionally, factoring our chances of success or failure without much regard for loss of human life.

Together, we left the graveyard and headed toward the town hall. At night, people stayed indoors, so the dirt lanes were deserted and the windows shone with golden light. Guards manned the stone walls with rifles and crossbows like the one Tully carried. If any human settlements stood a chance of survival, Gaspard and Lorraine did. Appleton was lost, and I didn’t think Winterville had much longer, unless they made some drastic changes.

When Fade and I returned, the men were eating. I had no appetite but Fade persuaded me to drink some soup. Morrow sat beside Tegan, whispering in her ear. She wasn’t smiling at his nonsense but from the light in her eyes, she was no longer feeling quite so heavyhearted. Once the food and drink were gone, we all rolled into our blankets and went to sleep.

In the morning, as promised, Vince Howe came to take me before the council. I hadn’t even managed a meeting last time before they laughed me out of town, and that failure burned as I accompanied him to the restaurant. They didn’t have those in Salvation or Soldier’s Pond, but apparently, it was a place where you could buy prepared food. Inside, there were tables covered in pretty cloths and chairs with cushions. I attracted a few looks because despite my efforts in Winterville, my appearance was ragged. My plaits were disheveled and my plain brown road gear showed signs of hard use.