Horde (Razorland #3)(64)

That sounded odd. “Are you sure nobody will catch us?”

He shook his head. “They’re asleep by now. I’ve come here to think more than once, and nobody bothered me. The enlisted men are afraid of punishment, so they don’t trespass. As long as we don’t turn on any lights or make a ton of noise, none of the watchmen will come in.”

The fire had burned down low, so Fade moved to stir it, churning the glowing orange sparks through the ashes, then he added a length of wood from the pile. With careful management, the blaze caught, then he beckoned me to the sofa nearest the hearth. It was old and worn, like most things in Soldier’s Pond; I could see where the leather had been poorly patched.

It was toasty in here compared with the outdoors. I imagined being in the woods and shivered. Fade pulled me down beside him, probably believing I was cold. I didn’t enlighten him as I settled against his side. Warmth prickled over my skin, both from the cheerful fire and his proximity.

“This is a nice surprise.” I hadn’t known there was anyplace we could escape to, here.

“It’s not the same,” he said.

I knew what he meant. The first night we stayed together, there had been candles and kissing, whispered words and inexpressible sweetness.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Holding his gaze with mine, I waited until he offered permission in the form of a quick nod. Then I touched his cheek with gentle fingertips, tracing over to his temple. I feathered my hand into his hair. His breath caught, but I didn’t think it was because I was hurting or scaring him. Still, I paused to make sure he was still with me. His eyes were dark and hot, half lidded.

“More,” he whispered.

I obliged. Shaping his head with my fingertips, I petted him as I had done the night he slept with his head in my lap. And by his expression, he remembered. Maybe I could help by reminding him of all the good feelings that came along with being touched. I was slow and gentle, no sudden movements, and when I grazed the nape of his neck with my nails, he actually shivered. Fade leaned closer, then wrapped his arms around me. He didn’t seem to be thinking at all anymore, his face soft and dreamy.

When he kissed the side of my throat, I bit my lip. It felt surprisingly good. He followed with more kisses just beneath my jaw. His skin rasped slightly against mine, reminding me that he was a man, not a boy, and he’d shaved off the scruffy beard grown over weeks in the wild. My heartbeat quickened as his mouth grew more heated, and he hadn’t even touched my lips. He was breathing fast when he put a hand on my shoulder. He urged me back on the sofa, and I let him because I had the odd desire for him to cover me like a blanket. Fade made a satisfied sound as he lay down, and then he kissed me.

My eyes closed. The feeling exploded like embers of the fire, kindling into a full burn. It was a summer sky of a kiss, breathless and endlessly blue, full of berry sweetness and sunshine. That long, luxuriant tasting turned into smaller kisses, our lips touching again and again, until we were both shivering, despite the warmth of the room. Fade drew back and framed my face in his palms; I could see powerful emotion working in his eyes.

“I was afraid,” he whispered. “But I was wrong to be. This … this is still perfect, even if I’m not.”

“I’m not, either,” I whispered.

I moved beneath him and his expression grew pained. He pushed back before he could help himself, teasing us both. In that moment, I’d have given him anything.

“This is…” He trailed off as I settled beneath him, finding the right fit.

“We could.” I knew exactly what I was suggesting.

“Not here, with no guarantee of privacy. It should be special.”

Fade shifted then, drawing me into his arms. We twined like tree and vine, his legs tangled with mine, and I lay so I could feel the warmth of the fire on my back. I kissed his neck.

“I love you.” His voice came low and rough.

“I love you too.” My response was smooth and easy, as if I had been waiting my whole life to offer him those words. No doubts, no hesitations. This feeling was woven through me until it seemed like it would kill me to root it out.

“Thanks for not giving up on me.”

“Have you ever known me to walk away from a fight?” I cocked a brow in challenge.

Fade laughed softly. “Never.”

“We should get back before someone catches us … or Momma Oaks notices we’re gone.”

With a groan, he let go of me. I took that for agreement. As we slipped out of the officers’ club, the night was still quiet with the moon reflecting off the new fallen snow. Our tracks had been covered so we made new ones back to the barracks.

But Fade left me there with a rueful shake of his head. “I can’t come to bed yet. I’m going for a run.”

I blushed because I understood why. So I slid into bed, but not before Momma Oaks raised up on an elbow and fixed me with a sleepy, pointed look. It said, You haven’t gotten away with anything. For some reason, I wanted to laugh, but that would wake Edmund and Rex, so I just rolled into my blankets. I barely stirred when Fade got into the bunk above mine.

And in the morning, everything was different.

I didn’t understand the shift at first, but soldiers I didn’t know greeted me by name. A few stopped me to ask about the Freak fang necklaces my men wore, and a sentry called down from the tower, “Let’s hear it for Company D!”