Hopeless(65)

“I like weird. Now get your ass in the front seat with me before I climb in the backseat and not cuddle you.” He pulls my arm forward and I climb into the front seat, then put my seatbelt on.

“What are we doing now? Your house?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Nope. One more stop.”

“My house?”

He shakes his head again. “You’ll see.”



We drive until we’re on the outskirts of town. I recognize we’re at the local airport when he pulls the car over to the side of the road. He gets out without saying anything and comes around to open my door. “We’re here,” he says, waving his hand at the runway spread out in a field across from us.

“Holder, this is the smallest airport within a two hundred mile radius. If you’re expecting to watch a plane land, we’ll be here for two days.”

He pulls on my hand and leads me down a small hill. “We’re not here to watch the planes.” He continues walking until he gets to a fence that edges the airport grounds. He shakes it to test for sturdiness, then takes my hand in his again. “Take off your shoes, it’ll be easier,” he says. I look at the fence, then look back at him.

“You expect me to climb that thing?”

“Well,” he says, looking at it. “I could pick you up and throw you over, but it might hurt a little more.”

“I’m in a dress! You didn’t tell me we were climbing fences tonight. Besides, it’s illegal.”

He rolls his head and pushes me toward the fence. “It’s not illegal when my step-dad manages the airport. And no, I didn’t tell you we’d be climbing fences because I was scared you would change out of this dress.”

I grab the fence and begin to test it when, in one swift movement, his hands are on my waist and I’m up in the air, already scaling over it.

“Jesus, Holder!” I yell, jumping down the other side.

“I know. That went a little too fast. I forgot to cop a feel.” He pulls up on the fence and swings his leg over, then jumps down. “Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward.

We walk until we reach the runway. I pause and peer out over the massive length of it. I’ve never been on an airplane before and the thought of it sort of terrifies me. Especially seeing that there’s a huge lake edging the far end of the runway.

“Have any planes ever landed in that lake?”

“Just one,” he says, pulling me down with him. “But it was a small Cessna and the pilot was lit. He was okay, but the plane is still at the bottom of the lake.” He lowers himself onto the runway and tugs at my hand, wanting me to do the same.

“What are we doing?” I ask, adjusting my dress and slipping off my shoes.

“Shush,” he says. “Lay down and look up.”

I lay my head back and look up, then suck in a sharp breath. Laid out before me in every direction is a blanket of stars brighter than I’ve ever seen them.

“Wow,” I whisper. “They don’t look like this from my backyard.”

“I know. That’s why I brought you.” He reaches down between us and wraps his pinky around mine.

We sit for a long time without speaking, but it’s a peaceful silence. Every now and then he lifts his pinky and grazes the side of my hand, but that’s all he does. We’re side-by-side and I’m in a dress with fairly easy access, but he never even so much as tries to kiss me. It’s evident he didn’t bring me out here in the middle of nowhere just to make out with me. He brought me out here to share this experience with me. Something else he’s passionate about.

There is so much about Holder that surprises me, especially within the last twenty-four hours. I’m still not clear on what made him so upset in the cafeteria that day, but he seems confident that he knows exactly what it was and that it’ll never happen again. And right now, all I can do is take his word. All I can do is take my trust and place it back into his hands. I just hope he knows that it’s all the trust I have left to give him. I know for a fact that if he hurts me like he’s hurt me before, it’ll be the last time he ever hurts me.

I tilt my head toward his and watch him as he stares up to the sky. His brows are furrowed together and he’s clearly got something on his mind. It seems like he always has something on his mind and I’m curious if I’ll ever break through that. There are so many things I still want to know about his past and his sister and his family. But bringing it all up, when he’s so deep in thought, would take him out of wherever his mind is right now. I don’t want to do that. I know exactly where he is and what he’s doing, staring off into space like he is. I know, because it’s exactly what I do when I stare at the stars on my ceiling.