Hopeless(121)

Holder hands me his cell phone once we’re on the road. “Here. Breckin and Six are both worried about you. Karen got their numbers out of your cell phone and has been calling them all weekend, trying to find you.”

“Did you talk to either of them?”

He nods. “I spoke with Breckin this morning, right before Jack called. I told him you and your mother got into a fight and you just wanted to get away for a few days. He’s fine with that explanation.”

“What about Six?”

He glances at me and gives me a half smile. “Six you might need to contact. I’ve been talking to her through email. I tried to appease her with the same story I told Breckin, but she wasn’t buying it. She said you and Karen don’t fight and I need to tell her the truth before she flies back to Texas and kicks my ass.”

I wince, knowing Six must be worried sick about me. I haven’t texted her in days, so I decide to put off calling Breckin and shoot Six an email, instead.

“How do you email someone?” I ask. Holder laughs and takes his phone, pressing a few buttons. He hands it back to me and points to the screen.

“Just type what you need to say in there, then hand it back to me and I’ll send it.”

I type out a short email, telling her that I found out a few things about my past and I needed to get away for a few days. I assure her that I’ll call her to explain everything in the next few days, but I’m really not sure that I’ll actually tell her the truth. At this point, I’m not sure I want anyone to know about my situation. Not until I have all the answers.

Holder sends the email, then takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine. I focus my gaze out the window and stare up at the sky.

“You hungry?” he asks, after driving in complete silence for over an hour. I shake my head. I’m too nervous to eat anything, knowing I’m about to face Karen. I’m too nervous to even hold a normal conversation. I’m too nervous to do anything but stare out the window and wonder where I’ll be when I wake up tomorrow.

“You need to eat, babe. You’ve barely eaten anything in three days and with your tendency to pass out, I don’t think food would be a bad idea right now.”

He won’t give up until I eat, so I just relent. “Fine,” I mumble.

He ends up choosing a roadside Mexican Restaurant after I fail to make a choice as to where to eat. I order something off the lunch menu, just to appease him. I more than likely won’t be able to eat anything.

“You want to play Dinner Quest?” he says, dipping a tortilla chip into his salsa.

I shrug. I really don’t want to face what I’ll be doing in five hours, so maybe this will help get my mind off of things. “I guess. On one condition, though. I don’t want to talk about anything that has anything to do with the first few years of my life, the last three days or the next twenty-four hours.”

He smiles, seemingly relieved. Maybe he doesn’t want to think about any of it, either.

“Ladies first,” he says.

“Then put down that chip,” I say, eyeing the food he’s about to put in his mouth.

His eyes drop to the chip and he frowns playfully. “Make it a quick question then, because I’m starving.”

I take advantage of my turn by downing a drink of my soda, then taking a bite of the chip that I just took out of his hands. “Why do you love running so much?” I ask.

“I’m not sure,” he says, sinking back into his seat. “I started running when I was thirteen. It started out as a way to get away from Les and her annoying friends. Sometimes I would just need out of the house. The squealing and cackling of thirteen-year-old girls can be extremely painful. I liked the silence that came with running. If you haven’t noticed, I’m sort of a thinker, so it helps me to clear my head.”

I laugh. “I’ve noticed,” I say. “Have you always been like that?”

He grins and shakes his head. “That’s two questions. My turn.” He takes the chip out of my hand that I was about to eat and he pops it into his mouth, then takes a drink of his soda. “Why didn’t you ever show up for track tryouts?”

I cock my eyebrow and laugh. “That’s an odd question to ask now. That was two months ago.”

He shakes his head and points a chip at me. “No judging when it comes to my choice in questions.”

“Fine,” I laugh. “I don’t know, really. School just wasn’t what I thought it would be. I didn’t expect the other girls to be so mean. None of them even spoke to me unless it was to inform me of what a slut I was. Breckin was the only person in that whole school who made any effort.”