Hook Shot (Hoops #3)(79)

“Why sad?” she probes.

“Everything keeps changing,” Simone whispers, a frown gathering over her troubled eyes. “And I just want it to be how it used to be when my mom and dad were together.”

When I meet Bridget’s eyes, they hold the hint of the smugness I expect, but there’s also helplessness. Hurt. Guilt. I want to scream “You did this!” But the more distance I have between our marriage and our current situation, the more I gain perspective. I know Bridget isn’t to blame for everything. I wasn’t the best husband. Hell, on the road three quarters of every year, I wasn’t always the best father. I share that guilt in Bridget’s eyes.

“Marriages don’t always last,” Dr. Packer says. “But family does.”

Simone’s bottom lip quivers. “How long was Grandpa married to Grandma, Daddy?”

The question is a foul ball, errant, flying over the fence and landing in the middle of the conversation. All the emotions I’ve carefully suppressed bob to the surface at the mention of my father. I look to Dr. Packer for guidance and her quick nod encourages me to answer.

“Uh, they were married forty years,” I reply.

“Did you think you’d be married to Mommy that long?” Simone asks, her eyes intense, bright, scouring my face like a searchlight.

“I thought I’d be married to your mom the rest of my life, Moni.” I slant a look at Bridget’s increasingly strained expression. “I took my wedding vows very seriously.”

“So did I,” Bridget says, her words curt. “Just because I made a mistake doesn’t mean I didn’t value our vows.”

I don’t answer because this isn’t the time to rehash my past with Bridget, but to acclimate Simone to my future with Lotus.

“You were gone so much,” Bridget mutters.

God, if that woman burps she finds a way to blame me for it.

“That still doesn’t excuse . . .” I smother the words and my anger before continuing. “It’s behind us now. We both made mistakes and it’s time we moved on.”

“Are you gonna leave me if I make a mistake, too?” Simone twists her fingers into an anxious knot in her lap.

“Never.” I reach over and gently tilt her face until she looks at me. “I won’t ever leave you, Moni.”

“What’s the difference?” she whispers, glaring. The daggers in her eyes stab my heart, and I struggle to keep my voice even while I’m bleeding inside.

“I can’t undo my blood in your veins,” I tell her. “You’re part of me and nothing can make me not your father.”

“But the divorce made Mommy not your wife,” she says, her eyes shiny and the same exact shade of begging blue as her mother’s. “You can’t forgive her?”

I look past Simone to catch Bridget’s alert stare, and then to Dr. Packer.

“Tell her, Kenan,” Dr. Packer says.

“I don’t know, honey,” I reply honestly, shrugging. “I’m sure I’ll forgive her one day, but we won’t ever be married again. It’s not going to happen.”

“Because of her,” Simone says, her voice carrying a bitter edge. “You’re so busy with Lotus that—”

“Simone, don’t,” I warn, as close to sharp as I’ll be, keeping my voice gentle, but not having it. “You know your mother and I were apart long before I met Lotus.”

“So you’re already in love with her, or what?” Simone scoffs, but her bravado doesn’t hide the hurt and fear.

“I care about her a lot. We’re in a relationship. I think you’d really like—”

“Are we done?” she cuts me off, jerking her glance to Dr. Packer.

“We actually have a few more minutes.” Dr. Packer glances at her watch. “But we’re almost finished and—”

“I’m done.” Simone stands abruptly and strides to the door. “I’ll be in the car, Mommy.”

The door slams behind her and I release a heavy breath, lean forward, and rest my elbows on my knees. My head feels so heavy in my hands. My heart, like lead in my chest.

“Well, that went well,” Bridget drawls dryly.

The tenuous hold on my frustration snaps. I swivel my head to scowl at her.

“Why the hell did you show up at my apartment unannounced yesterday, Bridge?” I grit out. “We could have avoided all this if you’d just—”

“If you’d just kept your dick in your pants?”

“Don’t you worry about my dick. Stay out of my personal life and away from my relationship.”

“Your relationship.” Bridget twists her lips into a disdainful curve. “With a girl barely out of college you’ve known for, what? A couple months? Spare me. It won’t last. I don’t even know why we bothered telling Simone.”

“We bothered because Lotus is important to me,” I tell her, seeing through her bravado the same way I saw through my daughter’s. I force myself to soften my tone, despite my irritation. “Simone’s not the only one who has to accept that, Bridget.”

She stares back at me, the ire flickering and fading until she bites her lip and lowers her lashes.

“I agree this wasn’t an ideal way to introduce this subject,” Dr. Packer says, “but at least you’ve been honest with her. She’s hurt and confused and still getting used to her new life. Her foundations have been shaken, and any hope she had of restoring things seems farther away than ever now.”