Home For a Cowboy Christmas(13)

He blinked, jerking back to the present. “For what?”

“For not asking me what happened upstairs.”

Dwight grabbed his fork and put a sprout into his mouth as he shrugged. He swallowed before saying, “That’s partly because I don’t need to ask. Though you probably aren’t aware of it since the incident just happened, you’re suffering from PTSD. And it’s perfectly normal after someone tries to kill you.”

She looked down at her plate, moving the Brussel sprouts around. “The … whatever that was upstairs … came out of nowhere.”

“And they will. Sam helped me with mine.”

Her eyes snapped to his. “Yours?”

“Few in the military don’t have PTSD. Compound that with my time in the FBI as well as Homeland Security, and you can well imagine how bad it can get. People don’t have to be in the military or do the jobs I’ve done to have PTSD. It occurs for any number of reasons. As you’ve discovered. Sam was always aware when I had an attack. He helped me through it. The way he was acting to get to you told me you needed him.”

Emmy licked her lips. “I did. I wanted to get up and open the door, but I couldn’t.”

“If you’ll allow him, Sam will do wonders to help.”

“I felt it today with him. I was in a good place. I even felt safe. Then…”

She trailed off and looked away. But she didn’t need to finish. Dwight knew what she was thinking about. He said no more as he went back to eating. After a few seconds, she did as well. The silence wasn’t hard to bear, but Dwight wished he had something to fill it if for no other reason than to help put Emmy at ease. But he needn’t bother since Sam stood beside her, his head resting on her lap as he looked adoringly up at her.

“He’s an unforgiveable beggar. It’s my fault,” Dwight admitted. “I can’t say no to those eyes of his. And he knows it.”

“I can’t say no to him, either,” she said with a smile as she gazed at the dog.

With the meal done, Dwight rose and began clearing the dishes. Emmy was suddenly beside him, gently taking them from his hands.

“I’ll do them,” she said.

He relented and backed up a few steps to give her better access to the sink. While she took care of the dishes, he put the leftovers into containers to be eaten later. Then Dwight stood at the back door and held out a jacket for her.

She eyed him. “Are we going somewhere?”

“The porch. It’s a little chilly, but it’s still nice. I won’t be able to say that in the morning.”

Emmy slipped on the coat while Dwight zipped up his jacket. He opened the door and waited for her to go ahead of him. Once outside, he moved around her and motioned for her to follow him to the side of the house that had the best views of the mountains. It also happened to be the side the master was on. An L-shaped outside couch with tall heaters on either side awaited them.

“Oh, wow,” she murmured when she saw the seating area.

He turned on the heaters then rubbed his hands together. “If these aren’t enough, there are blankets.”

She sat and stared out at the mountains. The sun was gone, but a little light remained. Soon, the moon would rise and bathe the mountains in its bluish light. Dwight observed her expression of surprise, appreciation, and admiration of the beauty that was Montana.

“This is incredible. If I were you, I’d be out here every night,” she said, never taking her gaze from the view.

Dwight smiled as he sat down. “I’m out here more often than not. Especially in the mornings with the sunrise.”

“Even in winter?” she asked, finally looking his way.

“All seasons. I don’t claim to stay out long when the temperatures dip too low, but there is something about looking at that view that reminds me why I live here.”

She nodded slowly. “I can understand that. I’m used to mountains having grown up in Denver, but this place far exceeds it.”

“You’re comparing a city to the country. Two different beings.”

“You say that as if they’re alive.”

He shrugged, twisting his lips. “In a way, they are.”

“And you prefer the country.”

Dwight looked out over his land. “Growing up, I couldn’t wait to get out and see the world. I’ve been all over. Seen the largest cities, visited the tiniest towns. Then I came home. What I realized was that I’m not trying to catch up with everyone else here. On this land, tending the ranch, I’m in step with the universe. Everything makes sense.” He swung his gaze to her. “Now, I’m not saying there aren’t hardships because there are. A lot of them. More than I like to admit. Cities have conveniences, but what I have here far outweighs any of that.”

“When I had my attack tonight, do you know what I remembered?”

He was shocked that she’d brought it up. “What?”

“When the man forced me to my knees, and I realized he was going to kill me, it hit me that I hadn’t done any of the things on my list.”

“List?” Dwight asked with a frown.

She shrugged and snuggled deeper into her coat. “I have a list of places I want to visit, things I want to do, food I want to try. Call it a bucket list, if you like.”