Holly Jolly Cowboy (The Wyoming Cowboy #7)(60)

Thank god for the cooking job at the ranch. It would save her from being completely destitute if it took Wade’s a little time to reopen, but now she didn’t know how she was going to pay for Polly’s schooling in the spring.

Honestly, she didn’t know how she was going to pay for anything. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach grew and grew, even as cheerful Christmas music drifted over the street.



* * *



? ? ?

Holly stayed with Wade and Bonnie for a while, but it became obvious that there was nothing she could do, and she was just in the way. She headed to her apartment, picked up fresh clothes, and allowed herself a small cry. Just a small one, because weeping over a job wouldn’t change anything.

She’d just have to figure out how to make things work until the restaurant opened again.

So she pasted a smile on her face and drove back to Sage’s big, sprawling ranch. She set Pumpkin down in her favorite bed, went into the kitchen, and decided that she might as well get some baking projects started since she had some free time. Her sourdough starter that she kept in a jar at the back of the restaurant would have been burned up with everything else, so she tossed some flour and warm water into a jar and set it aside to start. She made dough for two different types of bread and set them aside to rise. She made cookies. When the cookies were in the oven, she started on a cake. Lemon cake, she decided, because she wasn’t much in a Christmas mood at the moment.

It wasn’t that she needed the food. She wasn’t hungry at all. What she needed was a distraction. Holly kept her hands busy, and as the long, awful day drifted into night, the counter was filled with baked goods. She made yeasty, cheddar-filled rolls. She made two types of cookies—chocolate chip and snickerdoodle. She made the lemon cake with a light buttercream frosting. She made fried chicken and mashed potatoes for Adam, with homemade cream gravy, and put it all in the microwave to stay warm.

Then she started making muffins. She could save a few for Adam, she figured, and bring the rest over to Wade. He’d need cheering up. Bonnie, too. Thinking about Bonnie and her kids made Holly pull out new bowls and a fresh batch of flour. The kids would probably like a cake, too, she reckoned. Maybe something red velvet? Strawberry?

She’d make both, she decided. Both couldn’t hurt. Wade would probably want a cake, too, and he liked carrot. She reached for another set of bowls.

“What’s all this?”

Holly jerked in surprise, turning around to look at Adam. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen, staring in surprise at the array of baked goods she’d laid out on the table. She followed his gaze to the trays of cookies and rolls, the muffins and the cake. They covered every inch of the counter. All right, it did look like a lot. “I’m baking.”

He tore his gaze away from the tableau and looked at her. Really looked. “You all right, beautiful?”

Hearing the endearment made her melt, just a little. She offered him a wobbly smile. “No. That’s why I’m baking.”

Adam moved to her side and pulled the newest mixing bowl out of her grasp. He took her hands in his and met her gaze. “You didn’t text me to tell me what was going on. Bad news with the restaurant?”

She nodded, unable to speak for a moment. “It’s gone. Wade’s going to have to file claims and, well, it’ll take a few months for him to rebuild. In the meantime, I’ve got to file for unemployment, I think.” Holly forced a bright smile to her face. “And I’m baking because Wade’s going to have a lot on his plate for the next few days, and Bonnie’s got kids to think about, and—”

“And you needed to stay busy,” he guessed. “Are you all right?”

“Nope,” she said, even as she smiled that bright, fake smile. “But I’ll keep on going, because that’s what I always do.”

She tried to pull her hands free, but he wouldn’t let her go. Instead, he tugged her closer and then wrapped his arms around her. “You’re allowed to have a day where you scream at the universe, you know. You can be strong tomorrow.” Adam rubbed her back. “Tonight you can be just as angry as you want to be.”

Holly leaned against him, resting her cheek on his chest. She wasn’t angry. Not exactly. She felt . . . hollow. Unsurprised. Sometimes it felt as if the entire universe was working against her. As if the moment she got a leg up on things or found a bit of happiness, life contrived to tear it all out of her grasp again. She was going to use the extra money from working at the ranch through the holidays to get ahead on Polly’s student loans for the spring and now she couldn’t. Now she’d need that money just to get through the next few months.

Life was always one step forward, two back. It just made her . . . tired. She’d muddle through. She always did. But sometimes it felt like a lot. “I’m okay,” she said again softly. “Are you hungry?”

He rubbed her back, his hands moving over her spine. “It can wait if you need to hug it out.”

It felt good to be hugged, even if she initially bristled at the thought. It wasn’t that she was against hugging, really. It was that she’d crumble. That wasn’t who she was. Holly picked herself up and went on, because no one else was going to. She didn’t have time to crumble. Crumbling didn’t pay the bills. Even so . . . Adam’s arms around her felt pretty nice. She slid her hands under his shirt, seeking warm skin, and sighed with pleasure when she touched him.