Holidays on the Ranch (Burnt Boot, Texas #1)(78)

“What’s in the tote bag?” Ricky asked.

“It’s my character props,” Verdie answered.

“What’s that?” Adam asked.

“It’s what I put on so I’m not Granny Verdie but whoever I’m supposed to be in the program. Kind of like Olivia when she is Lucy in the Charlie Brown part of the play next week,” Verdie answered.

“Shhh.” Olivia touched a finger to her lips. “We’re all going to surprise Callie and Finn.”

Verdie winked over the tops of the kids’ heads at Callie and Finn. “My lips are sealed. They won’t get another tidbit of information from this old granny.”

Callie made a mental note to ask if the kids needed anything for their play. And was it at school or at church or both?

Verdie circled around the sanctuary to the back of the church, through a door that most likely led into Sunday school rooms, with Polly and Gladys right behind her. The pew looked empty without the three elderly ladies at the end and felt emptier yet with Callie at one end and four kids between her and Finn.

The preacher had a big smile on his face when he took his place behind the podium. “This morning the senior citizens of Burnt Boot will present the Christmas program. They say that laughter is good for the soul, and if the soul is happy, then all is right with the world. So with that said, I’ll turn the program over to Polly Cleary.”

Old quilts, some frayed at the edges, pinned to a rope line with clothespins, formed a barrier between the pulpit and the choir section. A red leg appeared from between two quilts, and Callie gasped. Surely they weren’t going to do a burlesque in the church.

Then a walker decorated with gold garland and jingle bells came out of the curtains with Polly behind it. She wore a red sweat suit with a picture of Rudolph’s head on the front, a flashing red nose, and antlers to match. She slowly pushed the walker to the podium and motioned for the preacher. “Take this back so Gladys and Verdie can join me. We ain’t got but one, and we have to share. Verdie is slow as well, Christmas, so I’ll tell y’all a story while she’s on her way out here.”

Olivia poked Callie on the leg. “Is this really church?”

Callie nodded. “I think so, but I’m not sure.”

Polly adjusted her antlers and said, “Back in the summer, Verdie McElroy put up her ranch, Salt Draw, for sale, and when the right buyer came along, she sold it. The new owner is Finn O’Donnell, sitting in the middle pew right there with his family. We’re right glad to welcome them to Burnt Boot, but we was sure worried about our dear friend until a couple of weeks ago, when she decided to come on back home where she belongs. Trouble was—oh, here comes Gladys, bless her heart, she’s older and slower than me, so forgive her for takin’ so long to get here. She talks slower, too, so since y’all don’t want to starve plumb to death, I’ll do the talkin’. Now where was I? Oh, trouble was that poor old Verdie, here she comes, folks. Everyone give her a hand.”

The applause came close to raising the roof a few inches when Verdie pushed the walker out from the back of the church. She wore a sweat suit that matched Polly’s and Gladys’s, but hers had a picture of Santa Claus on the front, and her Santa hat sat at a cocky angle.

“Is that Granny Verdie?” Ricky gasped.

“Looks like it,” Finn answered.

“Thank you, thank you. As I was saying, trouble was she decided to come home right in the middle of all this weather, and she had to hire a sleigh to get her here because the snow was so deep, and right outside of town, you’ll never believe…”

Verdie tried to wrestle the microphone from Polly, but she hung on, and pretty soon there was a make-believe fight going on right there behind the podium. When Verdie came up with the microphone, the walker had been turned over and the preacher had darted out from behind the curtains to settle the fight.

“Let go of me, preacher. She was infringing upon my rights to tell my story, and even if this is church, she’s not going to steal my thunder,” Verdie said.

“I like this kind of church,” Olivia said.

Polly crossed her arms over Rudolph and pouted. Gladys threw an arm around her to console her, and music filtered out from the speakers at the back of the church.

“I thought we’d just sing what happened rather than tell the story, that is, if Polly can suck in that lip and help me,” Gladys said.

“If I can hold the microphone, I won’t pout,” Polly said.

“Oh, okay, if you’ll just stop acting like a sixty-year-old.” Verdie winked at the congregation. And the three old ladies broke into their rendition of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” substituting “Verdie” for “Grandma” in the lyrics.

When the song ended and they staggered off the stage with Verdie using the walker and the other two hanging on to the sides, everyone could see big hoofprints on the back of Verdie’s shirt, and the whole congregation gave them a standing ovation.

The next group was three old guys, each wearing a hoodie with an initial on the front. It didn’t take much imagination to know that they were the Chipmunks. Callie recognized the music as “Christmas Don’t Be Late,” and she was amazed at how much those fellers sounded like the original Chipmunks. When Alvin sang that he wanted a Hula-Hoop, one came rolling out from behind the curtains. Alvin did a great job of making it stay up as he sang the rest of the song, even when the preacher yelled “Alvin” just like on the recording.