Holding Out for Christmas (The Christmas Tree Ranch #3)(16)

She blinked back the tears that sprang to her eyes, hoping no one would notice. Rush’s innocent remark had given voice to her worst fear—that she just wasn’t good enough.

But that didn’t mean she was ready to give up. She had to believe in herself. She had to keep chasing her dream until there was no dream left to chase.

Maggie and Tracy were exchanging glances—knowing looks that spoke a clear message. “I thought she was wonderful,” Maggie said. “The way she held the crowd’s attention, and made it fun for everybody, was great. And she had a beautiful voice.” She rose from her chair. “Now, who’s ready for dessert? Apple pie with ice cream, if you’ve got room for it.”

“I’ll help you serve.” Megan stood, almost too hastily, and followed Maggie into the kitchen.

“Thanks,” she said as the door swung shut behind them. “Things were getting awkward in there.”

“Well, just so you know, I meant every word I said about your performance. I thought you did great.”

“You’re very kind,” Megan said. “And thank you for keeping my secret.”

“The ice cream’s in the freezer. You can scoop it out.” Maggie cut the pie into six wedges and began lifting them carefully onto saucers. Megan dug out a scoop of vanilla for each piece. “You know,” Maggie said, “it might be simpler to just tell Conner the truth. He’s a good guy, and I can tell he likes you. He’ll deal with it.”

“Deal with it how?” Megan finished scooping and put the ice-cream carton back into the freezer. “You know that Lacy isn’t real. But she’s like having this glamorous girl buddy who always steals your boyfriends. If Conner knew I was Lacy, he would want me to be Lacy. And that would ruin everything.”

“I understand your point.” Maggie picked up three of the saucers, leaving the rest for Megan. “But how long can you keep him from knowing the truth? No man likes to be made a fool of. If Conner sees Lacy at the ball and realizes he’s been played, he’s not going to take it well.”

Megan picked up the remaining saucers and followed Maggie back into the dining room. Her new friend was right. Conner was a proud man. The longer she kept her secret from him, the more upset he was likely to be when he discovered the truth.

But letting Lacy into the picture would ruin her friendship with a man she was liking far more than she’d planned. Conner was smart, funny, gentle, and sexy enough to make her pulse race every time he touched her. But he’d already fallen for Lacy. And Megan had learned the hard way that she couldn’t compete with her glamorous alter ego.

So, what should she do now?

Walk away, that was the sensible answer. She would end things with Conner before they got any more complicated. At the Christmas Ball, she could perform as Lacy and disappear before Conner had a chance to get close and recognize her. Her friends in the band would help her make a clean getaway. No ugly questions, no lies, and no regrets—except for never knowing what might have been.

*

The evening ended early, with the understanding that the three partners would need to be up before dawn. As Megan said her good nights to Maggie and Tracy, she felt the pang of impending loss. Breaking off with Conner would mean losing these two delightful women as her friends. But some things couldn’t be helped, she reminded herself as Conner lent his arm to balance her on the icy sidewalk.

She wasn’t looking forward to the ride home. Conner, she sensed, was more accustomed to rejecting women than being rejected. Maybe he’d be angry. Or worse, maybe he wouldn’t even care. Either way would be painful—but like pulling out a splinter or setting a broken bone, it had to be done.

As he helped her into his Jeep and went around to the driver’s side, Megan rehearsed her farewell speech.

It’s like this, Conner. I’ve got a lot going on in my life, and . . . No, that sounds like a lame excuse.

I’ve got this boyfriend in Nashville—we’re practically engaged, so I’m afraid this will have to be good-bye . . .

That might work, even if it was only a half-truth. She wasn’t engaged to Derek—not even practically. But the little white lie might at least help her out of an awkward spot.

“What did I tell you about those ladies?” Conner flashed her a grin as he started the vehicle. “I’d say you’ve got yourself two new friends. You’ll like them even more as you get to know them.”

“They were very nice,” Megan said. “But I won’t be around long enough to get to know them. I have a job in Nashville—and a life.”

That was a good beginning, Megan thought. All Conner needed to do now was ask her about her life in Nashville. From there, she could steer the conversation to her alleged reason for not seeing him again.

But Conner, it seemed, wasn’t about to make that easy for her. “I’m still puzzling about one thing,” he said, changing the subject. “That powwow in the kitchen, the three of you with the door closed. What was that all about?”

“Girl talk. If we’d wanted you to know, we wouldn’t have closed the door.”

“Understood.” Conner drove in silence for a couple of blocks, then spoke again. “But when you came out, I could tell that something was bothering you—and I had a feeling that it might be me.”

“You were imagining things. Everything was—is—fine.” Megan stumbled through her fudged reply. She hadn’t expected him to be so intuitive, or so direct.