Hold Me Close(98)

Effie sighed. There was no going back. Not to good times. Not to bad.

“I want you to be able to move on,” her mother said quietly. “I’m so proud of you with your art, but every time you sell one of those paintings, Effie, all I can think about is how you have to put yourself back in that place. With him.”

Heath.

Effie sat up then. “All the best art comes from the broken places, Mom. And I love him. So does Polly. So I wish, for our sakes, or at the very least for hers, that you would try to accept him. Because I can’t live without him. And I don’t want to.”

“Oh, Effie.” Her mother shook her head.

Effie got up and stood in front of her. Not weeping or shaking. Calm. Smiling. Confident.

“You don’t understand. Heath is my world. If everything else in the universe disappeared and Heath was left, I would still find a way to live. Without Heath, everything else is a shadow and a strangeness that I can’t ever be a part of. I need him, Mom. I need him, I love him, and I’m not sorry about it anymore.”

Her mother got up, too. She took Effie’s hands and squeezed them. Tears in her eyes, finally, she nodded.

“All right,” her mother said. “Because I love you, too. Because you’re my daughter and I want you to be happy. All right. I will try to accept this, and him.”

Effie hugged her mother hard. “All I can ask you to do is try.”





chapter forty-four

Seeing Heath with Lisa would be hard. Perhaps far from the most difficult thing Effie had ever lived through, but it wasn’t going to be like riding a unicorn along a rainbow into a swimming pool full of kittens, either. All she could do was straighten her shoulders, put her chin up and make the best of it, since most of it was her own damned fault.

“I want to go to your art show.” Polly frowned and kicked at the table legs until Effie gave her a frown.

“Wog, it’s not for kids. I told you that.”

“Me and Nana could go for a little while and then stay in the hotel. I never get to stay in hotels.”

Effie laughed, though the thought of exposing Polly to the possibility of any of those wackos from the forum wasn’t funny at all. “I promise, I’ll take you to stay in a hotel with me another time. And besides, you’ve seen all my paintings already.”

“Not in a fancy show. Mom, are you going to be famous?”

“I don’t think so. Hardly anyone gets famous for their paintings.” At least not while they were alive. “You and Nana are going shopping anyway, so that will be more fun. Do I look all right?”

“You look pretty with your hair curled. You’re wearing heels,” Polly said. “You’re probably going to have sore feet.”

Effie looked over her shoulder. “Yeah, I know, but this is a fancy kind of party. I have to try to look like a grown-up.”

“You need lipstick.” Polly got up to stand in front of her mother with a critical look.

“I have lipstick on.”

Polly rolled her eyes. “Lip balm isn’t the same, Mom.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll put on some lipstick. If Nana gets here while I’m in my room, tell her I’ll be right out. I need to get on the road. Long drive. Shit. I’m going to hit traffic—”

“It’s all going to be okay, Mom.” Polly took Effie’s hand and waited for her mother to look at her. “You’re going to have a fantastic show and sell a ton of paintings, and then you can buy me an iPad.”

Effie took a deep breath and focused on her child, the delight of her life. She hugged Polly close, expecting resistance, but the girl squeezed her hard. She stroked Polly’s blond hair and breathed in the soap and water scent of her.

“I love you, Pollywog. So much. You know that?”

“Yeah,” Polly said with a sigh. “I know.”

* * *

Two hours later, Effie had avoided most of the traffic and arrived more or less on time at the gallery. Cursing the light misting rain that threatened to weigh the curls Polly had insisted she try, Effie let her car idle in the parking lot without getting out. This was it. Her big night. Her time to shine.


“Dammit,” she said aloud. “You’re going to get through this night, and it’s going to be great, and you’re going to enjoy it.”

Still, it took her another ten minutes or so before she convinced herself to get out of the car and stagger like a newborn colt across the parking lot in her too-high heels. Inside the front doors, she let an attendant take her coat. She found the restroom. She fixed her hair and her lipstick. Her eyeliner, courtesy of Becky, looked f*cking amazing. She straightened her shoulders. She was going to do this, ready or not.

“Effie, hi!” Elisabeth waved at her from a short distance down the hallway. “You made it.”

“I made it,” Effie agreed, self-conscious in her fancy clothes.

Elisabeth gestured her closer. “You look so beautiful. I love that dress. The vintage style is so flattering. And your shoes. Wow.”

“If I don’t break an ankle, I’ll call it a good night.” Effie looked down at her feet, then at Elisabeth. “So...am I the only one here?”

“No. Absolutely not. I told you we would advertise and promote the hell out of this event. We have a room full already.” Elisabeth grinned and looped her arm through Effie’s. “You’ve already sold two paintings.”