Hold Me Close(55)

“I love you.” Polly tipped her face up, her eyes bright with tears.

Effie kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, too, Pollywog. Don’t go on the internet again without my permission, okay? Or I’ll have to take away privileges.”

Polly sighed and moved away. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“If you have questions, you ask me.” Effie stirred the steaming milk and added some cocoa powder and sugar.

“Are you and Heath fighting?”


Effie looked over her shoulder again. “Yes.”

“Why?” Polly went back to the table to push her homework aside so she had room for the mug of cocoa Effie poured.

“It’s really not your business.” Effie put the mug in front of Polly and leaned against the counter to drink her own.

Polly looked chastened. “I don’t like it when you guys fight.”

“I don’t like it, either, kid, believe me.”

“Is Heath your best friend?” Polly blew on the cocoa to cool it while casting a side eye at her mother.

“Yes,” Effie said. “He is.”

“Can’t you make up?” Polly frowned. “You tell me when I fight with my friends that we should make up.”

Effie laughed ruefully. It was good advice, and she ought to take it. “I’m sure we will soon.”

“Mom,” Polly said again and, typically, stopped.

“Yeah?”

“Remember when I was a baby and we all lived together?”

“Yeah, of course I do,” Effie said. “But I don’t think you do. Do you?”

Polly looked serious. “Yes. I had flowers painted on the bedroom wall. And the same rocker I still have.”

Effie was the artist, yet Heath had been the one to paint the flowers. Heath had bought the rocking chair from a used furniture store, cleaned it, refinished it. He’d put together the crib and, later, the toddler bed Effie had taken with her when she and Polly moved into their own place.

“It would be okay with me, you know. If you wanted to live together again.” Polly shrugged.

Effie wasn’t fooled by Polly’s too-casual tone. “That’s not going to happen, Wog.”

Polly sighed. “But...”

“Did Heath tell you to ask me that?” Effie dumped her cocoa into the sink and put the mug in the dishwasher. When Polly didn’t answer, she turned. “Did he?”

“No.” Polly shook her head. “I asked him. He said to talk to you about it.”

That wasn’t much better than if he’d actively put the idea in Polly’s head. Effie felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. She dumped the dregs of the cocoa and began to scrub the saucepan, her back to Polly.

“Finish your homework,” she said.

A text came through from Mitchell, but she chose not to answer it. Instead, Effie went to the porch to contemplate her half-finished canvas. Mitchell had seen her naked, but he still didn’t know the most important parts of her. The longer it took her to tell him the truth about her work, her past, the harder it would get. The stupider she would look for keeping it a secret.

Heath knew everything about her, and always would. Together or apart, he was inside her. She could hate it, but it was the truth.





chapter twenty-six

Effie had sent Polly to her mother’s house. Armed with a box of powdered doughnuts and a bag of Heath’s favorite gourmet coffee beans, she drove to his apartment. She hadn’t called first. She wasn’t going to give him the chance to tell her not to come over.

She could’ve walked in without knocking, as she’d done so often in the past. She had lived in this same apartment for four years, after all. Still, she knocked and waited like a stranger on the doorstep, because that’s how it felt to be there after all this time.

“Hey.” Heath looked surprised and, before he could stop himself, so happy to see her that Effie’s heart hurt when he quickly shuttered his expression. He didn’t step aside to let her in. “What’s up? Is Polly okay?”

“She’s fine.” Effie held up the paper grocery bag. “Are you going to let me in?”

Heath looked past her, into the dirty hallway. “What do you want?”

“To see you. Isn’t that all right?”

He shrugged and opened the door. He followed her into the small galley kitchen and watched her set the doughnuts on the table. Effie put the bag of beans on the counter.

“Let’s grind.” Her joke fell flat. He didn’t even crack a smile. With a sigh, she stepped away with a flourish, leaving him to make the coffee.

While it brewed, she opened the box of doughnuts and ate one. Heath put two mugs on the table, along with sugar and cream. He took the seat across from her but left the doughnuts alone.

“They’re your favorite,” Effie said quietly.

“I’m not hungry.”

Effie licked sugar from her thumb. “Heath...”

He sat back, arms crossed over his chest. He had that stubborn look on his face, the one any smart woman would’ve taken as a warning. Effie had always prided herself on being smart. Mostly.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

He looked away from her, his jaw set. A muscle ticked in his temple. For the first time, Effie noticed a glint of silver in the dark hair there. It made her feel suddenly small. All this time had passed, so much between them, and here they sat at his kitchen table and he wouldn’t even look at her.