Him (Him #1)(15)

Yes, folks, Jamie Canning is straight. Shocker.

You’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now. I spent six years hoping that maybe the attraction wasn’t one-sided. Maybe one day a switch would suddenly go off and he’d be like, hmmm, I’m totally into Wes. Or maybe he would figure out he swings both ways and decide to take a walk on the dude side.

None of those maybes had panned out, though. And they never f*cking would.

All around me, the guys laugh and joke and recap their favorite moments of tonight’s game, and nobody notices I’m not saying anything. My mind keeps wandering back to Jamie and his girl and the hook-up I’d interrupted last night.

“We need another round,” Cassel announces, searching the main room for our waitress.

When I spot her behind the counter, I abruptly scrape back my chair. “I’ll go order it,” I tell the guys, and then I dart away from the table before anyone can ask why I’ve suddenly become so charitable.

At the bar, I order another round of shots for the group, then rest my forearms on the splintered wooden counter and study the liquor bottles on the shelves. I’ve been drinking beer all night, but it’s not getting the job done. I need to be drunker. I need something harder.

My gut tightens when my gaze lands on a gleaming bottle of bourbon. My father’s drink of choice. But the bourbon he buys is a thousand times more expensive than the bottle on this shelf.

I shift my gaze to the row of tequila bottles.

Canning had been drinking tequila last night.

My gaze moves again. Jack Daniel’s.

Aw hell. It’s like every bottle in this f*cking bar is full of memories.

Before I can stop it, my mind flashes back to that last day at camp, to the silver flask I’d passed Canning, and the mocking question I’d hurled his way.

“You think I’m too chicken-shit to blow you?”

He’d seemed to consider me for a minute. “I think it’s a bad idea to ever say that Ryan Wesley is too chicken-shit to do something.”

“True dat.”

He chuckled, but his eyes went back to the screen. Again, he let me off the hook. But I didn’t want to be let off. I wanted to get off. The longer we sat there discussing sex, the more certain I was. Touching my best friend was all I could think about. It wasn’t a dare for me, either. It was pure desire.

On the screen, the blonde was on her knees, sucking one of the guys while jacking off the other. Jamie took another sip from the flask before passing it my way. Beside me, he shifted his hips, and I had to suppress a shudder. My heart’s desire was sitting beside me.

And now he was horny.

His hand had moved, resting just above the waistband of his shorts. He gave the spot beneath his abs the tiniest of caresses, like he had an itch, but it was obvious he’d been hoping to do some strategic rearranging.

I swallowed a mouthful of whiskey. For courage. Then I put a hand between my legs, just resting it there. “This is killing me,” I said. It was the most truthful statement I’d made all day. I took a slow stroke down my hard cock and then back up again. I could feel his eyes on me, on my hand. And that made me even crazier. Forget the screen. I’d rather star in my own solo act right here, with my favorite pair of brown eyes as the only audience.

My heart started to pound, because I knew what I was about to do.

There’s this cliff at the swimming hole we liked, a twenty-foot drop into the lake, and that night, it was like I was standing atop it. Like I was creeping toward the edge and pulling him with me. I remember one year when Canning was taking so long to jump I’d lost patience and pushed him off, cackling as I watched him windmill down to the water below.

But I couldn’t do that this time. I couldn’t push him. He had to jump.

I licked my dry lips. “I really need to jerk. You mind?”

His moment of hesitation practically killed me. “Go ahead. We shower in the same room, right? Hell.” He chuckled. “We crap in the same room. Though there’s walls.”

There weren’t any here.

I shoved my hand under my waistband and gripped my aching shaft. I didn’t whip it out, though. Just gave it a slow tug beneath my shorts.

His eyes had filled with surprise, then flashed with something that sucked the breath right out of my lungs. Not anger. Not annoyance.

Arousal.

Holy hell, he was getting off on seeing me jerk it. And neither of us was looking at the laptop now. Canning’s gaze stayed glued to the slow movement of my hand beneath my shorts.

“You can, too.” I hated the gravelly sound of my voice just then, because I knew that I had an agenda. “Go ahead. It’ll be less weird for me.”

Hell. I was like the serpent shoving the apple at Eve. Or rather the banana…

All the bad analogies fled my stupid brain a moment later when Jamie reached into his shorts and pulled his dick all the way out.

My heart shimmied in my chest at the sight. He was pink and thick and perfect. With the fingers of one hand he stroked the underside—up and down. The lightest touch. I envied those fingertips.

I cupped my aching balls and tried to take a deep breath. My chest was tight from wanting him. He was right there—his hip touching mine. I wanted to bend down and take him in my mouth. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.

His eyes went back to the screen. I felt him sink a little further back into the bed. We were both stroking in earnest now. His breathing became shallower, and the sound of it sent another shot of lust up my spine. I wanted to be the one making him pant like that. But then his pace faltered, and I looked up to find out why.