Heaven Official's Blessing: Tian Guan Ci Fu (Novel) Vol. 2(13)

On the other side, there were strange buskers performing. A buff, burly man had a small ghost, weak as a chick, in his clutches, and the man opened his mouth to blow massive flames and barbeque the small ghost while it squealed and writhed like a pig being slaughtered. The spectators cheered and shrieked, shouting “bravo!” There were even insane individuals randomly throwing money into the air, the paper fluttering in the sky like drifting snow. When one slip of it flew before Xie Lian, he nabbed it and flipped it over. It was the money of the dead, as he thought.

Continuing down the street, there was a butcher stall with a row of languishing, pallid human heads, hung in order of age, as indicated on their price tags: a child’s meat was this much, a youth’s meat was that much, a grown man’s meat cost this amount, a mature woman’s meat went for that much, cartilage sold for this. The apron-clad butcher, knife in hand, was a boar with thick, black hair. What it was chopping under its knife was a muscular human leg, still twitching.

This was truly a swarm of evil, a carnival of hell.

Humans butchering pigs was a common sight, but pigs butchering humans wasn’t, so Xie Lian couldn’t help but steal a few extra peeks. The boar noticed him watching though and immediately reacted.

“What are ya lookin’ at? You buyin’?”

Xie Lian shook his head. “No.”

The boar butcher continued to chop violently onto the cutting board, blood spraying all over. He yelled, voice rough, “If you ain’t buyin’, then don’t watch! Fuckin’ tryin’a start somethin’? Get outta here!”

Xie Lian got outta there. But just as his steps quickened, he suddenly realized something very bad.

That group of female ghosts and Shi Qingxuan had disappeared without a trace.

Shocked, Xie Lian wanted to connect with the Wind Master at once within the communication array, afraid that she was really dragged away by those ghosts to do facials. However, this was Ghost City, and the communication spells used by the heavenly realm were restricted. The connection to the array didn’t work, so he had no choice but to wander the streets aimlessly in search of the missing Wind Master.

As he walked, someone suddenly grabbed him. Already alert and tense, Xie Lian reacted instantly.

“Who?!”

The one who stopped him was a woman, and she was surprised by Xie Lian’s reaction. But after seeing his face clearly, she started giggling, playing coy.

“Hey there, little gege. Yer lookin’ mighty fine.”

This woman was in an exceedingly revealing dress, her makeup terrifyingly loud. The white powder was uneven, and when she opened her mouth, clumps of it would flake off her face. Her bosom was stuffed full, as if something were packed under her flesh. Truly, a shocking sight.

Xie Lian gently pushed away her thin, claw-like fingers and said, “Miss, there’s no need to speak like that.”

The woman was stunned at first, then burst out laughing. “Dear lord! ‘Miss’?! Who still calls me that in this day and age? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

The people around them all seemed to think it was funny too, and they started laughing along. Xie Lian shook his head, but before he could speak, the woman pounced on him.

“Oh, don’t go! Little gege, I like you. Come and have fun with me all night, I won’t ask for money!” She pouted and winked. “But I will charge. Hee hee hee hee hee…”

What a sin, Xie Lian repented inwardly, then kindly but firmly pushed her away. He chided gently, “Miss, please.”

Yet the woman suddenly appeared to be annoyed and screeched, “Stop calling me ‘Miss.’ Ain’t no one who cares for it! Quit wastin’ my time—are ya comin’ or not?”

To tempt Xie Lian further, the woman suddenly unlaced her already-revealing shirt. Her boldness caught Xie Lian off guard and he didn’t stop her in time, so he sighed softly again, turning his eyes away. He continued on his way, stepping around her. However, the female ghost stopped him again and continued her teasing.

“D’ya like what you see?”

Little did she realize, Xie Lian had grown up in the Royal Holy Temple, practicing abstinence for most of his mortal life. His body and mind had always been guarded and as steady as the mountains. It didn’t matter what he saw, his heart was as still as water. Anything unseemly would make him automatically chant Dao De Jing2 sonorously in his mind, keeping him completely indifferent.

Unsuccessful in her temptation, the female ghost’s expression changed, and she tsk-ed. “You don’t want any o’ this? Not even fer free? Are ya even a man?!”

Xie Lian moved his eyes away. “I am.”

“Then prove it!” the female ghost yelled.

From the sidelines, a passerby laughed mockingly. “You slut! He thinks yer old an’ ugly, an’ want none o’ you. What are ya doin’ bein’ so clingy?”

Hearing those words, Xie Lian deadpanned with a straight face: “That’s not it. It’s because I have an unspeakable affliction. I can’t get erect.”

Everyone was stunned.

Then in a flash, boisterous laughter erupted.

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…”

The victim of ridicule was now Xie Lian. None had ever met a man who was brave enough to announce in public that he had such a problem. However, to someone like Xie Lian, it didn’t matter in the least whether his root of evil could sin or not, so he’d developed the habit of using that as an excuse to get out of these kinds of situations. And it was a method that worked excellently every single time. Sure enough, the female ghost redid her shirt immediately and stopped pestering him.