Heath (Wild Boys After Dark, #2)(21)
“Yes, but I love the patient contact, too. Right now the position at the hospital fulfills both of those sides of my personality. It’s a good match.”
He took the book from her lap and set it and his wineglass on the table, then sat back, facing Ally with one arm across the back of the sofa. She set her wineglass next to his and relaxed beside him.
“You said you volunteered at the conference. Why?”
“If I volunteer, I get to take home transcripts of the lectures and discussions. I know that makes me nerdy, but I like it. It’s like Christmas several times a year.”
“So, it’s not the trip itself, or access to all the docs…”
She narrowed her eyes, and he held her gaze. “You think I went to hook up with doctors?”
“I wasn’t thinking that, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind. Considering the way we met, didn’t it cross yours that I might go to conferences to hook up with women?”
She lowered her eyes and traced the seam of her jeans with her finger. “Yes, but I’ve been trying not to think about it.”
He lifted her chin and pressed his lips softly to hers. “I’m an honest guy, and tonight I feel closer to you than I’ve felt to a woman in years. I want to keep seeing you, and I don’t want any secrets. I won’t judge you, and I hope that you won’t judge me either, but I know that’s a lot to ask.”
She searched his eyes, and he wondered what she was thinking. Would she be as honest with him as he planned to be with her? Would his propensity for semi-anonymous flings be the end of their relationship? More importantly, would he be able to handle her truth—whatever that might be?
“Are you sure you want to go there?” She nervously twisted a lock of her hair. “I mean, you might not like what you hear, and I know I’m not going to like what you tell me.”
“I think you just gave me indication enough of your answer, and you’re right. I might not like hearing it, but we can’t build a relationship on ignoring the past.”
She met his gaze. “So you want to do this? You want to date and see where we end up? Even though we both work at the hospital? Even though I’m a lab tech and you’re a doctor? That doesn’t bother you?”
“Allyson, do I act like the kind of guy who’s hung up on status?”
“No. But you have things you need to ask, and so do I.”
He smiled, because she was not a pushover, and he could see that her strength would push him in ways he wasn’t used to—and probably needed.
“Fair enough. I love that you are doing something that fulfills you. That’s all anyone can hope for in their lifetime. My mother was a seamstress, and my father worked in a factory, and I cannot remember them ever being unhappy. They had time for me and my brothers, and they had time for each other. The way I see it, if you decide to sell flowers on the street corner because that makes you happy, then that’s your prerogative. The same way that if I decide tomorrow, or in ten years, that I am sick of being a doctor and want to sell shoes for a living, I’d expect you to accept me in the same way you do now.”
She scooted closer to him and placed her hand on his arm on the back of the couch, and the combination of her sincere smile and that gentle touch solidified in Heath’s mind that he wanted to share these secrets, no matter how painful it might be.
“You sure you can handle this?” she asked.
“No, but I want to try. You?”
“Same. But you go first, because if I can’t handle what you tell me, then there’s no need to embarrass myself.” She drew in a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back. “Okay, go. But I have a feeling this isn’t going to be a quick sting like giving blood. So just say it quickly.” She clenched her jaw, and he had to touch it. He reached out and stroked her cheek.
“You sure?”
She nodded, and he had the urge to hold her close to keep her from walking away. Instead, he simply did as she asked and hoped for the best.
“The way we met. The no-personal-information, first-name-only sex. That’s pretty much the guy I’ve been for the last few years. No ties. Literally and figuratively.” He paused, letting the truth sink in. She pressed her lips together but didn’t say anything, so he continued speaking in a gentle tone, hating the acidic taste of the man he’d been. “I don’t go to conferences for that purpose, obviously, but if someone interests me…And around here? In the city? I don’t really date, and I never have flings. I have a few women I get together with on and off, but it’s a mutually agreed upon arrangement. We don’t date. We’re—”
“Friends with benefits?” She raised her brows.
He shook his head. “Not even that. We’re f*ck buddies.”
She nodded and dropped her eyes, twisting another lock of hair.
“And if we continue to go out?” she asked tentatively.
“All that stops.” The words left his mouth with confidence, though they shocked him. He scrubbed his hand down his face and repeated them more for himself than for her. “All that stops.”
Ally was silent for what felt like several minutes, though it was probably only a few seconds. “Okay, well. Wait.” Her eyes bloomed wide. “You said literally about no ties. What does that mean?”