Heat Stroke (Beach Kingdom, #2)(42)

How much tighter could everything get? Jamie’s muscles, his chest, his throat, it was like they were attached to a universal screw and it twisted, twisted the longer they stood there. “You’re right, that’s probably not a good idea,” Jamie said quietly. “None of this is a good idea.”

Marcus visibly held his breath.

“But I was thinking…” Jamie swallowed hard, no idea what words were coming out of his mouth, only that his racing heart refused to let him do anything but deliver them. “I was thinking if you wanted t-to try this, being my…boyfriend—officially—we wouldn’t have to tell anyone.” He could almost hear a pen scratching across paper, a proclamation sealing his fate. “Until you’re ready to tell your family. If…you’re ever ready.”

“Jamie.” Marcus let out his name on a shocked exhale, his head shaking slowly. “No. No, I can’t let you do that. I can’t. It would mean hurting you over and over—”

“You’re right, it was a stupid idea. Forget I said anything.”

Berating himself for being a giant fucking moron, Jamie strode past a gaping Marcus, only to be dragged to a halt after three steps. “Wait. Just wait. Jesus.” Marcus let go of Jamie’s arm and plowed his hands though his hair. “I’m not mentally equipped for this kind of shit. One second, I think you’re about to kick me to the curb and I’m going to have to spend all day trying not to cry like a girl, the next you’re…” Cautiously hopeful eyes scanned Jamie’s face. “Did you really mean it?”

“Take it or leave it, Diesel,” Jamie sighed, visibly bored but internally shaken by the heaven/hell he was offering. “We’re going to be late.”

Marcus’s throat worked. “Why are you doing this for me?”

Jamie was afraid love might overflow from his eyes, so he quickly looked down.

“I should say no,” Marcus whispered, coming close enough to heat Jamie’s shoulder with his breath. “I should say no to something that’s bad for Jamie.”

Jamie closed his eyes. “Is that what you’re doing?”

Marcus’s laugh was pained. “You think I could turn down a chance to be your boyfriend?” Ever so slightly, their fingers brushed, index fingers hooking together. “I know how hard it is for you to give me this, Jamie. I won’t let you feel wrong about this. It’ll be different than the last time, okay? I promise. I just need some time.”

“I know,” Jamie said, nodding. “I’ll give it to you. I want to give it to you.”

“Thank you.” Marcus’s body deflated against Jamie. Just for a second, before straightening and stepping away, leaving Jamie missing his touch already. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

And then Jamie counted to fifty before following Marcus into the Hut.





CHAPTER FIFTEEN





Life was amazing.

For the next week, Marcus basically went to bed smiling, woke up smiling, and he couldn’t rule out the possibility that he smiled in his sleep. Why the hell wouldn’t he? He had his own side of Jamie’s bed. Jamie slept on the outside, Marcus took the inside half by the wall and it was just understood that they would fall asleep that way every single night.

Naked.

Marcus hurried through a set of pull ups, but one eye was on the clock and since he was trying to figure out how many minutes were left until he met Jamie at the Main Squeeze, he lost track of how many times his chin had touched the bar. Fuck it. Who cared?

He let go of the bar and swiped some sweat out of his eyes with a forearm, weaving through the equipment so he could shower off in the locker room. He took some extra time with the soap between his legs, because miracle of miracles, he was regularly getting his dick sucked by the smartest, sexiest, secretly kindest man on the planet now. And Marcus couldn’t get enough of returning the favor. There was just something about the way Jamie seemed incapable of holding back when Marcus gave him head, riding his face like he couldn’t get deep enough down his throat—

Marcus looked down at his inflating erection and cursed.

Honestly, he needed a cage for this monster. Were dick cages a thing?

He’d Google it later.

He flew through his shower and toweled off in record time, only stopping once to flex in front of the mirror. When he pulled the T-shirt that had spent the night on Jamie’s bedroom floor over his head, he caught a whiff of Jamie and took a moment to bury his face in the soft cotton material. Christ, he loved Jamie. He could barely keep his feet on the ground, the love was such a buoyancy, carrying him from place to place.

And like every other time this week, when Marcus stopped to acknowledge how happy he was—how fucking in love he was—he was reminded that he was almost certainly going to blow this perfect shot with Jamie. So many times this week, he’d looked across the pillow and wanted to say, “I’m ready. I want to tell my family. I want to tell everyone.”

But insecurity and fear of the unknown would creep in, sinking their teeth in and he’d find himself swallowing the words on his heart. Trading them for maybe tomorrows and one more day. I just need one more day.

Jamie seemed just as happy as Marcus. Most of the time. When they met in his bedroom at the end of the night and there was nothing but their heartbeats in the silence, Jamie would smile. And the strain Marcus noticed around his eyes and mouth while in the Hut or behind the bar…it would cease to exist. Marcus would kiss him and lick the remaining tension out of Jamie’s body until his boyfriend got that blissed out expression. The daytime hours only carried a feather’s weight compared the two starved bodies rocking in the twisted sheets.