Heartless: A Small Town Single Dad Romance(59)

“Nah. Sorry, man,” Cade replies, with a brief nod toward the back of Luke’s head.

“I can take Luke,” Rhett offers. “I need a night in after traveling so much.”

Cade shakes his head, clearly not wanting to go out and using Luke as an excuse.

“How about you, Red?” Lance says, and I visibly flinch because I’ve come to associate that nickname with Cade. It somehow feels like that’s his name for me.

When I peek up at Cade, his jaw is set, teeth working with a grimace on his lips.

I wave the cowboy off. “Nah. I’m good.”

“It’s supposed to be your day off, Willa. You should go,” Cade bites out.

I rear back a little as I stare up at him. It feels like he just slapped me. Like he’s trying to pawn me off on someone else. But he doesn’t look pleased about it either.

He’s an awful lot of work some days, and the rush of annoyance at him has me shaking my head in disbelief.

It has me feeling reckless. A little spiteful. I’m not necessarily proud of this facet of my personality, but it’s here all the same. I get mad and I get even.

“Thanks for the permission, Cade,” I snip, watching Jasper fidget with the brim of his hat again while Rhett stares back with wide eyes. I turn to Lance. “Since the boss gives it his stamp of approval, yes. Let’s go out.”

He smiles back, giving off sweet, boy-next-door vibes. “Alright, cowgirl. Off we go.” He points one lanky arm in the direction of the trailers parked in the back.

I swallow a big gulp of dry prairie air and observe the way his body moves in the tack. Not my type at all.

Because apparently my type is a broody asshole cowboy whose handsome face I would currently like to stomp with the heel of my boot.

But then I’d want to kiss it better too.

It’s only when I walk toward Lance that I glance over my shoulder. Cade is still sitting on Blueberry and his eyes are laser-focused on me.

I wait for a beat. Hoping he’ll say something. Tell me to stay. Ask me to go home with him instead. I love it when he says home like it’s our home.

But he doesn’t.

So I go.





20



Cade

Cade: Be a gentleman.

Lance: Lol. Cade. Relax. You know I’ll take care of your nanny.

Cade: One hair out of place and I’ll kill you.

Lance: What about multiple hairs?

Cade: Are you fucking kidding me right now? You got a death wish?

Lance: You’re the idiot who let her go.

I hate myself. I want to take it back and throw Willa over my shoulder and drag her home with me.

Where she belongs.

But I pushed her off on a perfectly nice guy because I’ve convinced myself that fucking the nanny is out of bounds.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to know I’m the issue. My insecurities are the issue. If I couldn’t make a small-town woman—who was my age and desperately wanted me—happy, how the hell can I make a woman like Willa happy?

When Talia left, it was a blow to my ego. I wish I could say I missed her, but it was more about the fact she chose other men over me. That I lost somehow. That I didn’t measure up. My heart wasn’t in it, but I tried my ass off anyway.

But with Willa, my heart is in it. I don’t want it to be, but it is.

God, I tried so hard to dislike her, because liking her would lead to enjoying her. And after weeks stuck in the same house, watching her be the closest thing my son has ever had to a real mother, I’m worried enjoying her has turned into caring about her.

And I have no clue what to do with that. I’ve never properly loved a woman before. Never wanted one like this.

“I’ll give her one more chance at water!” Rhett calls as he stalks away with a bucket.

“Thanks!” I mumble back before letting out a ragged sigh and checking inside my truck. Luke is already asleep in the air-conditioned cab. Clearly, the excitement of the day caught up with him. Willa always keeps him so active that he’s dog-tired at the end of the day.

Willa is too good to us.

“You were killer out there today.” Jasper leans against the side of my trailer, staring at me with a small smirk on his lips. “Didn’t even look that old from where I was sitting.”

I shake my head. “Just wait until you start sucking at hockey. I have so many old-man jokes stocked away for you. And for Beau, when he finally retires.”

“You heard from him?” Jasper asks, looking hopeful.

“Nah. Nothing lately. Wish I knew where that doofus was.”

“Yeah. Not knowing is the worst part.” We share an anxious look. Sending Beau away never gets any easier on any of us. My dad included.

“You’re really dumb, you know?” His eyes flit up as he rapidly changes the topic of conversation.

I scoff. “Is this the opening line of another old-man joke?”

“Not unless getting older means sending away one of the best things that’s ever happened to you with another man who isn’t too dumb to see it.”

I feel the tightness in my chest and the ache at the back of my throat. I don’t know if that ache means I’m angry, sad, or if it’s just the spot where all the words I want to say get caught in a stranglehold.

“Got something to say, Jasper?”