Hardwired (The Hardwired Series 1)(19)

“Do you have any plans for the summer?” I asked.

“I’m going to Barcelona with my parents for a few weeks, and then I start work in July.”

“Where are you working?”

“At an investment firm here in the city, crunching numbers or whatever.” She blew steam off her cup. “What about you?”

“I actually started a fashion social network last summer and it’s been going pretty well, so I’m going to be running that for a while. We’ll see where it goes.”

“That’s amazing. I would have never expected that.”

I raised my eyebrows. What would you expect, I wondered, picking at the flaky crust of my chocolate croissant.

“How are Lauren and everyone else at the house?” I asked, referring to the girls who’d shared a floor with us.

“Really good.” She paused before continuing, “We’ve missed you though.”

I took a long sip of my cappuccino, sensing where the conversation was heading. College was over, and a new chapter was beginning. Maybe it was finally time to clear the air, especially if I might be running into her in the city now. Boston was still small enough for chance meetings.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads up about moving out at the end of the year. I was going through a lot at the time.” That was an understatement, but I didn’t really want to get into it with her right now. The last thing I needed was to dredge up painful memories.


“I realize that. I just thought we were friends, you know?”

“We were,” I said. “We still can be. I just needed a fresh start after everything that happened.”

She nodded and gave me a weak smile.

I sighed, resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be getting around this topic no matter how hard I dodged it. “Nothing was the same after that night. You and everyone else were the same, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t go out partying with all of you like nothing happened.” I took a breath, trying to push the memories back down. “It had nothing to do with our friendship, or you. I just couldn’t stand that look on everyone’s faces.”

When I looked up at her, the pity in her eyes made me sick to my stomach. I pushed my plate away and reached for my purse.

“I wanted to talk with you about it, but you never really gave me a chance,” she said.

“Believe it or not, I don’t really like talking about it,” I snapped.

Her eyes were bright and innocent, reminding me of the many nights we’d spent foraging her parents’ gift boxes of junk food, sharing stories and dreams in our freshman na?veté.

I relaxed in my chair. “I needed to work things out on my own, and for whatever reason, I couldn’t do that at the house.”

“I understand.”

She didn’t, but I gave her credit for trying, even though she was dragging me through memories I’d long buried.

“Maybe we can get together when I get back from Spain and catch up a bit,” she said. “We don’t have to talk about that stuff, obviously. I know it’s upsetting for you.”

I nodded. I couldn’t change the past, but maybe we could salvage some of what was lost.

“Sure.” I forced a smile. “Let’s stay in touch.”

We talked about professors and housing in the city while Liz finished her muffin. Afterwards we exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. As I turned toward the campus again, my phone dinged with a text. It was Alli.

Need to talk. I have news.

My stomach sank. I called her.

“What’s up?”

“I have news.”

“So you said. What is it?”

“I got the job.”

“Fuck.” I blurted it out. I couldn’t help it.

“Erica?”

“What do you want me to say?” I tapped my foot while people passed me on the street. Seeing Liz had put me over the edge, and now I was losing my best friend, roommate, and business partner. I refused to count this as a high point in my day. “Congratulations. I know you wanted this. Unfortunately I didn’t.”

Alli was silent on the phone for a few seconds. “We talked about this, and now you seem surprised.”

She was right, but it didn’t offset the sting. Things were in motion now, just shy of Max’s potential decision to fund us.

“When do you leave?”

“In a few days. I can crash with a friend in the city until I get a place.”

My phone started buzzing with another call. I didn’t recognize the number but needed an excuse to get out of this conversation before I said something I didn’t mean. “Someone’s calling me, Alli. I gotta go.”

I clicked over to the other line.

“Hello?

“Erica, it’s Blake.”

Fucking f*ck. “This isn’t a great time.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I sounded anything but fine.

“Where are you? I’m in the neighborhood.”

I glanced around for the nearest recognizable landmark. “Near Campbell Square.”

“I’ll pick you up in five minutes.” He ended the call before I could argue.

I sat on a park bench, idly checking email on my phone to distract me from the bomb Alli had dropped on me. In one, Sid reported a decent influx of new users since the conference, which was welcome news since I had wondered if the entire effort had amounted to an expensive 3,000-mile booty call for Blake. My thoughts drifted back to Alli and Liz and how utterly alone I had become in the past hour.