Hard to Fight (Alpha's Heart, #1)(73)
I look down into his empty blue eyes and I wish I could believe that, I really do. There’s a pain etched deep in my chest, and it’s one I live with on a daily basis. There is pain for the loss of my mom. There is pain because my dad is so broken. And there is a deep pain knowing that my family is no longer beautiful like it once was. I don’t resent my dad for being this way, but I can’t accept it either. I’ve tried to understand, but I guess since I’ve never had a love like theirs, it is beyond me.
I pat his shoulder and pull my wrist from his. “Okay, Dad. Later.”
I rush out the front door and get into my old, restored, baby blue Mustang with white leather interior. It’s the only thing I cherish in my life. It is important to me because when my dad was sober, and my mom was alive, we fixed this car up together. It’s the only piece of the old him I have left, so I hang onto it with both hands, cherishing the memories it holds for me. My dad taught me everything I know about cars and how to restore them. I’ve never loved anything as much as I love being under the hood of a car. Strange, I know, but it takes me back to a place where happiness was like a bubble surrounding me.
It was hard growing up being a tomboy. I had the looks to be a girly girl, but I never used them. I loved being around the guys, and I loved being with my dad. During my high school years, I got a good deal of taunts thrown my way, because I was different from the rest. I still recall the memory when I told Dad I wanted to be a mechanic—the very thought makes me smile.
“You want to be what?” he asks, his eyes wide.
“I want to be a mechanic,” I say proudly. “Like you, Daddy.”
He blinks. “Baby, you’re a girl.”
I stare at him, shocked. “And?”
He shakes his head. “Shouldn’t you want to, I don’t know, wear dresses and paint your nails?”
“Not all girls do those things, Dad.”
He laughs. “No … but … honey, I don’t think it’s the right profession for you. It’s a world of males and … well … male things.”
I straighten. “You don’t think I can handle that, because I’m a girl? That isn’t enough of an excuse, Daddy. I’ve been under those cars since I was big enough to do so, and you know it. Don’t be like the rest of them, don’t make me feel stupid for pursuing something that isn’t necessarily feminine.”
My dad’s face softens. “Baby,” he says gently. “I’m damned proud when I watch you under a car, I just want you to do what’s right for you. If this is it, then Quinn, I’m over the moon. You know you’ve been my little sidekick since you were little. I’d love nothing more than to be able to expand your knowledge.”
I beam and throw myself into his arms. “Are you saying I can work for you?”
He chuckles, squeezing me tightly. “After you talk to your mother about it.”
I come back to the here and now, with a smile on my face. My dad never had a chance of stopping me. I was born to be under cars and once he convinced my mother of this, I never left the garage. With a smile, I back out and drive to work.
The garage my dad owns, and has owned since I was born, is only about twenty minutes away from home. There are five of us that work there. Jace, Lenny, Oscar, Matty and myself. These guys are the only reason I keep fighting as hard as I do, because there are so many times when giving up would be so much easier. They’ve been in my life for a solid five years now, and if it wasn’t for them, I would have never been able to hold the garage together. During this time, I’ve managed to bond with them all. They’ve become the only family I know.
Jace is my closest friend out of the four guys. He’s two years older than me and an amazing mechanic. He’s got a skill under the hood that not many people have. He’s also a playboy at heart. He has more women than underwear, but I have a friendship with him that is just that, friendship. There is, and never has been, anything sexual between us, even though he’s handsome, he’s funny and he makes me smile.
Lenny and Oscar are the oldest of the group. Lenny is fifty and Oscar is fifty-eight. Both are friends of my father’s and so therefore, are like second and third fathers to me. They’re loyal to him and they do amazing work. Lenny has serious talent when it comes to fixing the bodies on cars. He has a way of making them look better when they leave than when they came in. Oscar is an old-school mechanic, and people love him for that very reason. The garage just wouldn’t be the same without them.
Matty is our newest member, and he’s only twenty but is blossoming into a great mechanic with every passing day. He’s training under us, so he also studies as well as puts in hours at the garage. He’s good with his hands, but most importantly, he’s got an eye for the smaller things. The things we often miss. He’s smart as hell, and he’s taken in every single thing he’s learned in his time with us.
I arrive at the garage and pull my car into the reserved spot that’s always been mine. I throw my booted feet out and then slide my body out at the same time slamming the door behind me. I’m always first to arrive and last to leave. But it’s not just because I love this place. I help out with the cars, but I also have paperwork coming out of my ass on top of it. I don’t mind, though. There’s a certain peace this place brings me, and being here gives me stability. I’d be lost without it.