Hard to Fight (Alpha's Heart, #1)(43)

He shrugs. “No, and I don’t really want to. What would I say to her?”

“Does she know about Kelly?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Do you think it would upset her?”

He’s silent a minute, and I wonder if my question is too invasive. He finally answers. “Yeah, funnily enough, I really think it would. I don’t think she wanted to be a poor mother. I think she just married the wrong man.”

“Maybe.”

“You don’t think so?”

I don’t answer.

“You won’t offend me, Grace.”

I sigh. “I guess … I just couldn’t ever see myself abandoning my children. No matter what, I just couldn’t do it, but I’ve never been in her situation either. Maybe things are different.”

“No,” he murmurs. “You’re right. She should have fought harder. You should always fight for what you love.”

Time for a subject change. “It’s really beautiful up here.”

“My happy place,” he says, his voice low and throaty. “And you’ve just made it a whole lot happier.”

Guilt lies heavily in my chest. It’s getting closer—we’re coming to the point where I’m going to have to reveal to Raide who I am when I attempt to take him in. The very thought sends shock waves of pain through my chest. I’m falling for him. That’s the cold, hard truth of the matter. How the hell am I going to survive when I lose him? And it’s not a matter of “if” in this situation, it’s a matter of “when.”

Because I will lose him.

This isn’t a fight I can win.





Chapter Nineteen

I’m awakened by Raide’s soft lips brushing across my forehead. I blink my eyes to see him looking down at me. I fell asleep on the porch swing. It’s our last night here, and we’ve spent the entire day hiking, making love, and eating good food. We came back and I passed out from exhaustion. Now the sun is beginning to set and reality is beginning to rear its ugly head.

“Hey,” I croak.

“Hey. Listen, I gotta go out with Benny for a few hours. You goin’ to be okay?”

Oh.

“Oh,” I say softly. “Ah, where are you going?”

“Just for a beer—it’s been so long since I’ve had the chance to catch up with him.”

I’m not about to tell him he can’t spend time with Benny. “Sure,” I say.

“Heaps of food in there, and movies on the television. I won’t be long.”

I nod and he kisses me once more before disappearing to the car and driving off. I sigh and push up from the swing chair. I sit for a moment, waking up fully before plodding back inside. I take a long, hot bubble bath and then I make myself a sandwich before settling onto the couch. I’m still exhausted, so having a quiet night is probably a good thing. I find a good flick and settle in.

Midway through the movie, I get up and raid the fridge for some chocolate. I find some cookies-and-cream ice cream, so I take the entire tub and a spoon, then flop back down onto the couch. I’m midway through shoving my spoon in when my phone rings, I glance down at the screen to see it’s Vance. Crap. I haven’t told him where I am. I told Kady, but haven’t had the chance to think about anyone else.

I answer it. “Hey, Vance.”

“Hey, honey, how’s it going?”

I sigh with relief. He’s not mad. “It’s good, I’m just away for a few days. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“How’s the case?”

“It’s okay. I thought I had it all worked out, but I didn’t. I’m sure Don’s told you.”

“Don’t worry about it—you did a good job. Not your fault he was squatting.”

My chest clenches. “No,” I sigh. “I guess not.”

“You okay, Gracie Lou? You don’t sound your usual sassy self.”

That’s because I think I’m falling in love with the man I’m meant to be bringing in. “I’m just tired, stressed. These big jobs are harder than I thought.”

“Don’t give up,” he encourages. “You’re going to do great. It takes time.”

We talk about various things for the next hour and then we hang up. I’m just about to settle back down when car lights flash through the window. Then two doors slam, and I can hear distinct arguing. A moment later, the front door flings open and Benny enters, followed by Raide. I gasp when I take him in. He’s got a busted lip and a swollen eye. I leap up, abandoning the ice cream to rush over, but his hand shoots up and he grunts, “No.”

I look to Benny helplessly. “What happened?”

“Nothin’ f*ckin’ happened,” Raide grunts, cutting Benny off before he can answer.

Benny shoots Raide a glare so angry, I flinch. “You’re lyin’ to her. She doesn’t know, does she?”

Know what? I swallow. “Raide?” I whisper.

His eyes flash to me, and I see so much anger behind them. “Benny,” he growls, all while holding my stare. “You shut your mouth.”

Benny laughs bitterly. “She’s a good woman, Raide. She’s a good f*ckin’ woman who thought you came up here to spend time with her, when that’s not what it was.”