Happily Letter After(58)
“I want to move on. But I have so much guilt about doing it.” He shook his head. “Did you ever play tug-of-war in school when you were a kid?”
“Sure. Of course.”
“You know how they told you not to wrap the rope around your hand?”
“Yeah . . .”
“Well, that’s sort of what I feel like I’m doing right now. I’m playing tug-of-war, only I have the rope wrapped around my hand really tight because I’ve been afraid to let go for so long. But now my circulation is getting cut off. And if I don’t just let go of the damn thing, I’m going to cause more damage than I would if I just finally let go.”
I looked down at Sebastian’s hands. They were balled so tight, almost like he was physically hanging on to that imaginary rope. And I wanted to help him, even if it wasn’t to tug him to my side and win the game. So I reached over and gently pried his fist open, then put my hand inside his and held on.
Sebastian stared down at our joined hands for a long time. “I want you to be mine, Sadie.”
My heart thumped in my chest. “I’m pretty sure I have been from the start.”
He smiled. “I’m sorry about this week. For acting like such a dick after our afternoon together.”
“It’s okay. Just talk to me next time. I get you’re going to have mixed feelings, and I’ll give you space when you need it.”
He nodded. Bringing our joined hands to his lips, he kissed the top of mine. “So how does this work? It’s been a long time since I went steady with anyone.”
I chuckled. “Went steady? What are you, sixty?”
He tugged me from next to him up onto his lap. Pushing a lock of hair behind my ear, he said, “I know dating is part of your job. I won’t ask you to give that up yet, but maybe we could have a few ground rules.”
“Okay . . .”
“I’d like us to be exclusive, as far as anything physical goes.”
“Of course. I’d like that, too.”
“Anything else that you have to do for work, just don’t tell me about it. Don’t even mention you have a thingy.”
I smiled. “I’ll figure something out for work. I can do articles on different types of dating out there, interview people for worst-date stories . . . my research doesn’t always need to be me trying out a different type of date.”
Sebastian cupped my cheeks. “So we’re going steady?”
I smiled. “We’re going steady, you nerd.”
We sealed the deal with a kiss. When it broke, I looked over my shoulder toward Birdie’s room. “What about Birdie?”
“I’m thinking I should tell her. What do you think?”
I nibbled on my lip. “That’s up to you. But I guess it’s better to be honest than to have her find out by catching me sitting on your lap like this.”
He nodded. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. How about after that, the three of us go out to dinner and a movie or something. Me and my girls.”
My heart melted, and I couldn’t contain my smile. “I like the sound of that.”
“Good. Me too.”
CHAPTER 21
SEBASTIAN
This was definitely something I was going to have to wing. It wasn’t like I had a handbook at the ready on how to tell your child that you’re dating someone. Someone who wasn’t her mother. I knew Birdie had wanted this, but I often wondered if her attitude about that might change once it actually happened. My palms were sweaty as I walked down the hall, headed toward my daughter’s room. Birdie knew Sadie would be joining us for dinner and a movie tonight. She might have suspected something, but I needed to have “the talk” regardless.
Birdie was listening to music, bopping her head and lying flat on her stomach. Her long legs reached much farther than they used to. She was getting so big. It was hard to believe she’d be eleven soon. I couldn’t even think about what having a preteen would be like.
I knocked to get her attention.
She looked up and took out her earbuds. “Hey, Daddy.”
“Hi, pumpkin. You looking forward to the movie?”
“Yeah. And getting to hang out with Sadie, too.”
That makes two of us.
“Good.” I sat down on the edge of the bed. “So . . . that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
A look of concern crossed her face. “She’s still coming, right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course, honey.” Rubbing my palms together, I said, “What I need to tell you is that Sadie has become more than just the dog trainer. She and I . . . have gotten to know each other and, well, we really like each other’s company.”
The few seconds that passed felt like torture.
Her mouth curved into the slightest smile. “I’m not surprised.”
My brows lifted. “Really?”
“You act sort of funny when she’s around. Plus, she’s pretty.”
“How come you never told me that you suspected something?”
“I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
“So it makes you happy that I’m dating Sadie?”
She nodded.
Feeling a sense of relief, I grinned. “You really like her, don’t you?”