Good Girls Don't Date Rock Stars(79)

Sighing, her mother continued, “I think I did you a disservice. I told you to keep your head down and ignore the bullies. I didn’t ever tell you that I often disagreed with your father. I taught you to be weak and scared, when I should have taught you how to fight for what you wanted. I’m sorry I failed you.” Taking Gemma’s hand, she asked, “What do you want, Gemma? What’s going to make you happy and whole again? What do you want to fight for?”

Gemma’s cheeks were wet with tears and her voice sounded strangled as she said, “I want Travis. I want him here, living with us. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, having more children and loving each other.” Sobbing, she threw herself against her mother, letting go of the bitterness, the resentment. “I want it all, Mom.”

Her mother’s arms tightened around her and she whispered, “Then make things right with your boy, and go after what you want.”



A LITTLE WHILE later, after her tears had dried and she was calm, Gemma walked up the stairs to Charlie’s room. Knocking, she called, “Charlie, can I come in?”

There was a pause, and then he said, “I guess.”

Turning the knob and pushing the door open, she walked inside and made her way to sit down on his bed. He was propped up by a mountain of pillows, reading one of his Goosebumps books.

Hesitantly, she asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” he said quietly, not looking up from his book.

“Charlie, look at me, please.”

Those dark blue eyes met hers defiantly, and she sighed. “I know you’re mad at me, and I don’t blame you. I’m mad at myself, for a lot of things.” Reaching out, she took his book from his hand and set it on the nightstand. “I used to get mad at your grandpa and grandma a lot, too.”

“Why?” Charlie asked.

Gemma smiled a little. “My father, who you didn’t get a chance to meet, used to say hurtful things to me and yell. A lot. I know that he was doing the best he could, but when you’re a kid, you don’t get it. All you know is that there’s this huge person in your face screaming, and it scares you.”

“He did that?” Charlie asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, he did. He wasn’t a bad man, he just didn’t have a very good example to follow, and he let his anger get the best of him sometimes. But when he would get into that state, I learned to shut him out. I would go to a little place inside my mind and wait until it was over.”

“Did Grandma yell at you, too? Is that why you got mad at her?” Charlie asked.

“No. I was mad at Grandma for not stopping him,” Gemma said.

Charlie seemed to be mulling things over. “Did you ever forgive her?”

“Yes, the year after you were born. Grandma and I got into an argument, and I told her how I felt. And she cried, and explained that a husband and a wife were a team. She had been taught that you back up your husband in public, and tell him he’s wrong in private,” Gemma said.

“That’s dumb,” Charlie said, using perfect kid logic.

“Yeah, but people are the way they are, and it’s hard to change them unless they want to change.” Squeezing his hand, she continued. “Charlie, your dad and I are going to have fights. All kinds of fights. We’re going to try our hardest not to, but when we do, it doesn’t mean we don’t love you.”

“What about Dad? You said you didn’t love him and you wanted him to go,” Charlie said, his lip trembling.

“I made a mistake. I was upset and took it out on your dad, like my dad did to me. I’m not perfect and I’m going to mess up, but I promise to try to fix this,” she said.

“How?” Charlie asked.

“Well, for starters, I’m going to fly to Sacramento and talk to your dad, ask him to forgive me and for him to come home,” Gemma said, letting out an oomph when Charlie threw his body against hers and wrapped his arm around her neck, his hard cast hanging along his side.

“Thank you. Thank you,” Charlie chanted, squeezing her, and she felt wet tears on her shoulder.

Returning his embrace, she said, “I want you to understand, there’s a chance he won’t forgive me, but even if that happens, he’ll still be your dad.”

“I know,” Charlie whispered.

“How about you? Do you forgive me?” Gemma asked, her eyes filling up with tears.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Mom.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Gemma said, hugging him hard.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”



GEMMA WENT DOWNSTAIRS after Charlie fell asleep, and stopped in the kitchen. Grabbing her purse, she pulled out Ms. Collier’s card and went to get the cordless phone.

“Are you calling Travis?” her mother asked from the kitchen table.

Dialing, she shook her head. “No. I’m calling a reporter who ambushed me outside Hall’s Market.”

“For heaven’s sake, why?”

Holding the phone to her ear, she replied, “Because I’m going after what I want.”





Chapter Twenty-Six




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BY THURSDAY NIGHT, Travis couldn’t wait to get back to his room and sleep until the concert on Friday. After negotiations with George, a video chat with the head of Off Road Records, and the long list of interviews and events he’d done that day, he was ready for his tour to be over.