Gone (Deadly Secrets #2)(39)

“Samantha will understand.”

“I’m really fine.” Raegan pushed to her feet, fighting back a wince as pain streaked down her spine. “Security in this building is good. Even if whoever did this knows where I live—which I’m sure they don’t—they can’t get in. I’m not worried.”

“If you’re sure. It’s really no bother.”

“I’m sure.” She walked him to the door, but as they drew close to her entryway, a thought rattled in the back of her mind. “I appreciate you coming by to check on me.” She stopped and looked up at him, debated, then finally decided she might not ever have another chance to ask. “Can I ask you something before you go?”

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

She bit her lip. Ethan and Alec were roughly the same height, nearly the same build, and from a distance, most people assumed they were full-blood brothers, even though Ethan was dark and Alec was blond. They did share a deep brotherly bond, though, and she wasn’t sure if her question would cross a line. She decided to go for it anyway.

“Alec said something the other day about hitting rock bottom. I thought he was talking about when we split up, but I got this funny feeling that wasn’t what he meant.”

Unease passed over Ethan’s face, telling her loud and clear he knew exactly what rock bottom meant.

“It wasn’t when we split, was it?” she asked.

Ethan stared at her several seconds as if debating his answer, then said, “No, it was after. He held it together for about three months. Then when he got the final divorce papers, he spiraled downward really fast. He’s good at pretending everything’s fine, but I had a hunch it wasn’t. I went out to his place to check on him.”

Ethan hesitated, and a tingle rushed down Raegan’s spine when she sensed whatever he’d found had not been good. “And?”

He sighed. “And I found him facedown on his kitchen table, an empty bottle of Jack near his left hand, and a loaded .45 near his right.”

“Oh my God.” She lifted a hand to her mouth so Ethan couldn’t see it hanging open in shock.

“When he came to in the hospital, he was pissed,” Ethan went on. “Then apologetic after the buzz wore off. He swore he wasn’t trying to kill himself, but Mom and Dad weren’t convinced. They had him admitted to a rehab center. It was a ninety-day treatment program, which he agreed to go through. When he got out, he promised he wouldn’t drink again. As far as I know he’s lived up to that promise and hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”

All the things Alec had said over the last few days ricocheted through Raegan’s mind, and her heart hurt for him and everything he’d gone through. But something else was growing inside her, a frustration, a simmering anger that he’d let all of that happen instead of turning to her as she’d wanted him to do, as she’d begged him to do. She’d never once blamed him for what had happened to Emma. She’d done everything she could to get him to lean on her instead of the alcohol. To pick them over the bottle. But he’d tossed her aside as if she’d meant nothing to him. And as long as she lived she’d never forget what he’d said to her before he’d walked out of this apartment that last time. The words that still cut like a knife every time she remembered them.

“We only got married because you were pregnant. Now that she’s gone, there is no us.”

“Anyway,” Ethan said, “I’m sure he never told you because—”

“Because it’s none of my business.” Her jaw clenched. “That’s exactly what he’d think and say. Because Alec McClane makes all the decisions. Well, you know what, Ethan? I’m done letting him make them for me.”

One side of Ethan’s mouth quirked up, and his eyes crinkled at the corners with amusement. “You’re a strong woman, you know that, Raegan Devereaux?”

Not strong enough, because her stupid heart was still tied up in knots over his brother. Starting tonight, she was changing that, though.

She reached for the door handle and tugged it open. “Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Ethan closed his arms around her. “Anytime. Call me if you need me.”

She wouldn’t. They both knew it. “I will.”

She let go of him. Forced a smile and turned.

And stared into Alec’s wild blue eyes.





CHAPTER TEN


Alec’s gaze shot from Raegan’s scraped and bruised face to his brother standing next to her with a hand closed way too tightly around her upper arm. “What the hell?”

Ethan let go of Raegan and frowned. “Don’t go getting any crazy ideas. I came over here to check on her, like you asked.”

Alec pushed his way into the apartment, forcing them back, and slammed the door behind him. “I said make sure she was okay, not let this fucking happen.”

“I’m standing right here, you know,” Raegan said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I can see that. Looking like someone’s punching bag.” Alec turned on his brother. “How the hell did this happen?”

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Raegan dropped her hands and looked toward Ethan. “Ethan, good to see you.” She glared at Alec. “And you? For your information, I’m a grown adult who doesn’t need you sending people to check on me like a five-year-old. You know where the door is, Alec McClane. Use it.”