Glow (Glimmer and Glow #2)(118)
. . . What he had cost her.
When this had all been explained to her, Alice took on the task of tallying that price somberly.
It did something to a person, being asked to put an actual weight on one man’s actions. What would her life be like if Sebastian Kehoe hadn’t plotted against her and the Durands in cold blood twenty years ago?
While soul-searching those answers in solitude, Alice had realized there were losses and costs she’d never suspected. It’d hurt realizing that, but it’d cleansed her somehow, too. It’d started her true healing and built the beginnings of a solid bridge between the child she’d been and the woman she was now . . . between Addie and Alice.
“Dylan will be testifying, too. And Thad. It’s happening the Monday after the press conference,” she told Maggie.
“And Dylan planned this press conference?”
“Yeah. Towsen told me all about it. The FBI will be making a brief statement, the U.S. Attorney’s office will take questions about Kehoe and sentencing, Dylan will speak, as well, on behalf of Durand . . .” She tipped a pound of sugar onto a cabinet shelf. “And I will.”
“You’re actually going?” Maggie asked in a hushed tone.
Alice placed both her hands on the edge of the counter, her back still to Maggie.
“I don’t really see that I have much of a choice anymore,” she said. “See . . . despite the fact that you and Dylan both think I’m just burying my head in the sand lately—”
“I didn’t mean that,” Maggie said earnestly. “I don’t think Dylan thinks that either, to be honest.”
“I have been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do with my life,” Alice continued shakily.
“What did you decide? Are you going to accept that job offer from Jason Stalwalter in New York? He sure seems eager at the idea of having you.”
Alice gave a bark of laughter. “A memo has gone out to the top executives at Durand about Adelaide Durand’s return. I’m sure Stalwalter would be very eager to have Alan Durand’s daughter working in his group.”
“It would give him the opportunity to cozy up to the owner of the company,” Maggie added dryly. “But in all fairness, Stalwalter didn’t know any of that when he offered you the job, did he? He was just impressed by some work you did for Dylan . . . by you in general. And he can’t be too much of an ass kisser. He’s persisted in offering you a position, even though I’ll bet Dylan is royally pissed at him for trying to lure you away to New York.”
“Yeah. I was just kidding. Stalwalter seems decent.”
“So . . . you are going to go with Stalwalter, then?”
“No,” Alice said softly. She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. “When I go to Morgantown for the press conference . . . I’m going for good. I’m going to ask to be assigned as a junior executive in the marketing division at Durand’s headquarters. If not there, I’ll go anywhere they can use me. I want to discover as much about the company as I can. Alan poured his sweat and tears into that company. By learning it . . . I’ll learn him.”
She turned around at the loud sound of a single clap. Maggie’s two hands were still pressed together. She pressed them against her chest and beamed at Alice. It was like she’d been waiting for Alice to say those exact words every minute for the past three weeks.
“I think Morgantown is my home,” Alice admitted tremulously. “Not because of Durand Enterprises, or because of Alan and Lynn. Because Dylan is there.”
Compassion filled Maggie’s face. She stepped forward and gave Alice a big hug. Alice squeezed her back, hard.
“Of course, Dylan probably doesn’t want anything to do with me,” she mumbled against Maggie’s shoulder. “He probably thinks I’m a big fat coward. I hope I can make him understand—” She broke off when her voice caught. Maggie patted her briskly on her shoulder blade. She leaned back. Alice recognized her game face.
“I had to tell you once, before you went into a meeting with Dylan Fall, that you needed to stiffen up the spine and just do what’s necessary. I’ll tell you that again,” she said with mock severity, referring to that fateful interview Alice’d had with Dylan months ago. They shared a smile. That interview felt like a lifetime ago to her. It seemed like she’d been turned inside out since that time, like she was the same person, but forever different, too. “Like I told you before, you’ve got to trust in yourself,” Maggie continued. “But you’re a world luckier than you were last spring, Alice. Because now, you’ve got Dylan to trust, too.”
“I was lying to myself, so I was lying to him, too. What kind of a person am I, that I would choose to believe in doubt and guilt and fear, and not this amazing thing between us? I told him I didn’t trust him,” Alice admitted, that simple, harsh truth piercing her yet again.
“Ah, honey,” Maggie said, touching her cheek. “That’s because you didn’t know what trust was.”
*
ALICE arrived at Camp Durand before sunrise that Friday. The sound of the rental car wheels crackling against the gravel filled her ears. A sense of poignant nostalgia went through her as she peered through the window. The camp was lit precisely like it had been when camp was in progress, so she could make out familiar landmarks. Everything seemed so quiet and empty though, so in opposition to the bustle and laughter and the sense of purpose she’d felt while she was there.