Glow (Glimmer and Glow #2)(109)

“I know that given everything, you must think I was lying about how I felt about you. But I wasn’t, Alice,” he said gruffly.

Alice nodded. She didn’t want to dissect it all with him. It wasn’t worth it, and it’d be too painful. She was never going to start a relationship with Thad. The grim, set expression that came over his face seemed to say he had accepted that reality, too.

“You set off the alarm so that the police would come to the castle that night,” she said quietly. “You fought Kehoe. I might be hurt that you colluded at all with that *, but at least you redeemed yourself. You were my friend, in the end.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Kehoe was right to call me a dumb-ass,” he said in a muffled voice.

“Fuck Kehoe. He’s a lunatic.”

“Sounds like good advice,” Thad said, attempting a small smile.

“I do forgive you, but I am still mad at you,” Alice clarified with a dark look. “I can’t believe you were willing to get involved in something so insane, all for the sake of getting the job your daddy wanted you to have.”

He flinched at her scorn. “Yeah. Well . . . I deserve that. And more.”

Her eyebrows arched when she saw his uncertainty as he stared at her.

“Come on, Thad. Do I look like a woman who feels up to kicking your ass?” she asked with disgusted amusement.

“I wouldn’t put anything past you.”

She laughed softly and his smile widened. Something occurred to her. She sat up slightly in bed. “Hey, how come you’re not at the castle? For the Team Championship trophy presentation?”

He shook his head, looking sober again. “I’m not going to be a Durand manager. I’m not a counselor anymore, either.”

“What? Did Dylan—”

“No, no one fired me. Although after the mistakes I’ve made in judgment for the past few weeks, I wouldn’t have been shocked if Fall did kick my ass all the way back to Greenwich. I quit. Just before I came back here to see you, in fact.”

“Why?” she asked, stunned.

He shook his head, clearly embarrassed. Worse than embarrassed. Ashamed. Despite her irritation at him, her heart went out to him.

“If anything could teach me the stupidity of blindly following my dad’s ideas about what’s best for me in life, it’s this. I couldn’t trust my own instincts before all this happened. I had to be told by authority figures what the right thing to do was.” He shrugged. “Look where that got me.”

“So . . . does that mean you’re going to listen to your own judgment now?” she asked hopefully. “And become a teacher?”

“It means I’m going to look in to finding out what I’d need to do to make that happen.”

“No, Thad. Just make it happen. You. No one else.”

He nodded once, and Alice had the distinct impression he was going to follow through.

“You always did have what it took to be a good executive,” he said after a pause. “A phenomenal leader. You’re so strong,” he said, his voice breaking at the last.

“You can be strong too, Thad. You were brilliant with the kids. Everyone says so. You just doubted yourself. But in the end, you saved my life. You and Dylan did.”

She saw his throat convulse as he swallowed, and knew he was choking back emotion.

“What are you going to do about Brooke?” she asked quietly after he’d brought himself under control. “Is there any kind of future with her?”

“Maybe. She sort of shocked me by not putting down the idea of becoming a teacher when I talked about it with her the other night.”

“That’s good. Both that she was receptive and that you were comfortable enough to tell her.”

“Yeah. And I was thinking . . .”

“What?”

He grimaced. “Up there on the bluff, that was the first time I really ever fought for something,” he said starkly. “Everything’s always just been given to me.”

“Including Brooke, right?” Alice asked wryly.

“Yeah, to be honest.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s not worth trying for . . . fighting for. Brooke’s all right,” Alice conceded. “It’s not every day a guy meets someone as pretty and smart as her, that’s for sure. And she’s crazy about you.”

Thad nodded. “You’re right. Actually, she’s incredible. Maybe it’s time I saw her as more than a convenience.”

“If you’re really trying to be a bigger person, that’s exactly what you should do.”

He nodded and met her stare uneasily. “There’s something else I need to apologize for,” he said. “I’ve watched Fall quite a bit, here at the hospital. He’s crazy about you. I . . . uh . . . I might have been unwilling to see much good in him before because he had what I wanted. But from what I’ve seen, the first thing he thinks of in every situation is your safety and comfort. Your happiness.”

Alice’s smile trembled. “Addie Durand’s happiness, or mine?”

Thad blinked. “They’re one and the same, aren’t they?”

Alice didn’t reply. Her throat had gone tight, because she didn’t know how to answer that question.