Gentlemen Prefer Spinsters (Spinsters Club #1)(54)

“Where is everyone?” Arabella asked, kneeling beside her and lifting her wrist to inspect it.

“I sort of...sent them all away,” Merry replied meekly.

“But why? I thought you were making good progress.” Bella helped Arabella lift her and maneuver her onto a covered dining chair.

“I do not need anyone’s help.” Merry stared at the floor, unable to meet her friends’ concerned gazes.

She could not explain why, but she could not bear to have everyone working on the house after he had stormed off. In truth, she could not bear to get this wretched project finished. It had been a fool’s errand. Why did she think she could create a home for herself in such a brief time, all alone?

Arabella slipped a ribbon from her hair and lifted Merry’s wrist. “It does not look too bad. Just a little swollen.” She began binding the ribbon around her wrist. “A little support will help.”

Sophia folded her arms and eyed the mess about the room. Plates that Merry had intended to display on the sideboard were scattered about everywhere, sheets were half on and half off the chairs, and several candelabras waited patiently to be arranged on one end of the dining table.

“Bella, help me with this mess,” Sophia instructed.

“Oh, you really do not—” Merry tried to protest but Bella and Sophia started gathering up the plates and stacking them neatly while Arabella prevented her from standing with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“Merry, you do know there is nothing wrong with asking for help, do you not?” Arabella seated herself next to her. “You need not do everything alone.”

“I wasn’t...” The words were cut off by a tightness in her throat.

Sweet Mary, she did not understand what was wrong with her these days. She’d never felt so confused and uncertain in her life. Tears burned behind her eyes. She watched her friends clear away the plates and peered at Arabella’s delicate handiwork on her wrist.

“Merry?” Arabella gaped at her. “Are you crying?”

Merry sniffed. “No.” She drew out a handkerchief from her sleeve regardless, her heart jolting at the sight of the embroidered initials on it. She could tell herself that she did not know why she had been carrying it around ever since Harry had given it to her, but she’d be lying to herself.

The fact was, she had chased him away. She’d done nothing but repaid his kindness and attention with scorn. And now....well, now she regretted it bitterly. It made her chest ache when she considered she had pushed him away so far that he had not been back in days.

She dabbed a tear and Bella and Sophia paused to stand in front of her.

“Merry, you never cry!” declared Bella.

The declaration only made it worse. A sob bubbled out of Merry and she pressed the back of a hand to her mouth. Arabella wrapped a soothing arm around her shoulders. Tears fell rapidly, plopping down onto her dark skirt. Merry sniffed and dabbed her nose, drawing in a ragged breath in an attempt to stop them.

“What is it?” asked Sophia softly. “Does your wrist hurt very badly?”

“Do not be silly, Sophia,” Bella snapped. “She would not cry like that from a sprained wrist.”

Merry swallowed and swiped a hand across her face. Her eyes felt red and raw and her throat tight still. Bella plopped herself down on the floor in front of Merry and Sophia followed suit. She swung her gaze between her friends’ expectant faces. After everything they’d done together, she supposed she owed them an explanation. The problem was, she hardly knew herself. It was so hard to form coherent thoughts these days. Ever since Harry had kissed her really...

“I...” She inhaled. “I suppose that this house...my determination to have it finished was to distract me.”

Sophia frowned. “Distract you?”

“From your father?” Bella said tentatively.

Merry nodded. “With being so busy with the house, I did not have to spare him a thought. I think...perhaps I have always been determined to do things alone to prove to myself that I never needed him. But it hurts, you know?” She stared at the handkerchief in her hand, tracing the letters with one finger. “I always wanted his love, even if I did not need it. I suppose a daughter always does.”

Arabella squeezed her hand. “Of course you wanted his love.”

“I just cannot help think...If he could not love me,” she said quietly, “how can I expect anyone to?”

Silence hung about the room. Merry’s heart pounded heavy in her chest as her own words echoed through her mind. Was that what it was? Was that really why she had pushed Harry away?

Arabella cleared her throat. “Is there perhaps someone in particular you wanted to love you?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, Merry looked between her friends. How could she admit to them how she felt about Harry? How could she betray them? But she could not lie to them.

“I have been getting quite close to Harry,” she admitted softly. Her friends fell silent again. Merry grimaced. “I am sorry. I did not mean to—”

Arabella patted the back of her hand. “It is just, we are not surprised. You have been spending a lot of time together and he seems to care about you a lot.”

“I understand if you are angry with me.” Merry hung her head.

Bella laughed. “Why should we be angry with you?”