Game (Gentry Boys, #3)(67)

“No! I didn’t say that.”

“The please articulate, honey. And as you talk keep in mind that you’re holding my f*cking heart in your palm and squeezing the whole time.”

I wished I’d never opened this door. I wanted to forget my doubts because no terror was greater than losing him. But I’d already been too honest and I needed to explain. “Chase, we got together at a time when we were both vulnerable in different ways, looking for something to cling to. We both needed…somebody.”

Chase didn’t move. He didn’t even blink. “What the hell is wrong with that?”

“I don’t know.” I sat down on the floor miserably. I really didn’t know, but it seemed like there should be something very wrong with it.

“Well,” said Chase icily, “you let me know if you figure it the f*ck out, Stephanie.”

He started to leave.

“Chase!”

Don’t go.

He turned around. He crossed his arms with a stone-faced expression and I couldn’t read the look in his eyes. In that moment he was a stranger to me. Maybe I was one to him as well.

Chase stared at me pitilessly as I struggled to find something to say. If I rushed to him like I wanted to, I had no idea what would happen. He might have already decided that enough is enough. He might be finished with me. In any case, he only endured another moment of silent agony before he left.

I felt awful. After an hour of pacing around, cursing myself for the inadequate things I’d said, I just sat on the floor outside my bedroom. If Truly was home I would have talked to her. She was always able to talk about important things in a way that made sense. It was a skill I didn’t have. I’d made Chase think that I doubted everything about us.

He’s not like Dad. He’s not. He wouldn’t break my heart the way Dad broke Mom’s every day.

They were similar in some ways; both dashingly handsome, charming, with a hint of volatility. When I first met Chase I had dismissed him as a chronic player, a guy who would feel little remorse over his lies if they got him what he wanted. That’s the kind of man I’d grown up watching and I figured I could recognize the signs. Chase Gentry proved to be far more intricate and I still hadn’t figured him out completely. But I knew he loved me. I should never have let him leave without reminding him that I loved him too.

When my phone buzzed I grabbed for it. I would meet him anywhere. I would tell him everything, so long as he didn’t give up on me yet.

“Steffie,” said a voice that used to belong to a friend. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

I was instantly cold. Completely cold.

“Why are you calling, Alonzo? We don’t have anything to talk about.”

My dead brother’s best friend sniffed on the other end of the line. “That O’Shea son of a bitch,” he swore. Then his voice lowered to a grieved whisper. “It’s out, Steffie.”

My eyes closed. I couldn’t breathe. “What?”

“The video, kid. It’s out and it’s everywhere.” Alonzo coughed. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

The phone fell out of my hand. I stared at it as it began to make noise again. It wasn’t another call. It was a message. I clicked on the link even though I already knew what it would be. It was proof that the worst nightmares were real.

“I f*cking own you, bitch. You get up there and you take it off slow.”

“Fuck you. No. I’m not doing it.”

“Hey Xavier, how about if she doesn’t do it then we all do her?”

“You hear that, Stephanie Bransky? You either take your lumps like a good little * or else get ready to open up for every cock in this room.”

“Gutless shits, all of you! You think I don’t have any pull left? That I can’t still make a couple of phone calls?”

“Not soon enough to save your skinny ass. Now I’ve made you a deal. Keep insulting me and my generosity will start to ebb away.”

“No.”

“She says no again, then you grab her, O’Shea. And don’t give it to her easy.”

“Don’t you f*cking touch me! Fine. If this is what it takes then this is what it takes.”

“Wise choice. Now take it all off. Told you I own you, bitch. Now you make this shit look good because you’re not paid up until we get off on watching you.”

None of that was heard on the video. Of course it wouldn’t be. It was all said before the filming began.

The site it had been uploaded to was extremely popular. The views were in the six figures and climbing. Alonzo was right; it would be everywhere.

Chase.

Yes, Chase would see it. Everyone I’d ever known would see it.

I felt myself rocking back and forth, a childish instinct to soothe the body when the mind was screaming. The blood roared in my head and I’d never known such loneliness. Last night I’d been thinking about how I knew what it was to fall into an abyss of anguish and treachery.

In fact I didn’t yet know how deep the rabbit hole went. In reality, I was still falling.





CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR


Chase



I sat on the ledge of the fountain and stared at the flowing water. I wondered how long it took for an individual molecule to flow from the concrete ridge, only to get pulled by the pump to commence the same journey again before finally being recycled for another drop. The hour was somewhere between noon and one in the afternoon and the campus was busy. Since she wouldn’t know to find me here I wasn’t waiting for her. I wasn’t waiting for anyone.