Gabe (In the Company of Snipers, #8)(88)
“That’s how I lost my foot. Same day I lost Darrell Carson, best damned friend in the world.” He paused, his heart lodged high in his throat. Damned sneaky and wrong how the mind hides a shitload of hurt behind four words. Darrell Carson. My friend.
“So yeah, Shelby. I get it. I do. I’m right there with you, trying to control the world. It just doesn’t work that way. Things still happen, and there’s nothing we can do to change them. The only way to live through crap that happens is to keep on keeping on. Get that damned degree. Thumb your nose at regret. Do something with the mistakes you’ve made. Learn from them. Hell, girl. Be all you can be.”
Shit. He mentally shook his head at that last one. Sounded like something out of a recruitment poster. For the damned Army.
She twisted around to look at him, cupping his jaw as if she still cared, and once again, he got lost in her eyes. This time was like no other. His breath hitched. Hers did, too. Violet blues blinked with deep dark wonder, just a kiss away.
“You make it sound easy,” she said.
“You know better than that. Life’s hard, and there isn’t a one of us who’s going to make it out alive. You think I don’t get a little backed up sometimes, that memories don’t sneak up on me?” He shook his head at the unrealistic image she might have of him. Civilians always want to see a hero. He was anything but. Just a lousy survivor. “Hell, I could’ve sworn that little kid was sitting in Kelsey’s living room during that thunderstorm last night. There I was, all mixed up and looking for him, and all of a sudden he’s right there beside me, patting my shoulder. Smiling that sad smile. Kinda like he knew I had to kill him again, even in the dream. And you know what? I would have.”
“You did what you had to do.”
“So did you. Don’t let one mistake define the rest of your life.” He lifted his fingers to her hair. “God, Shelby. Here you are trying to save everyone else and you could’ve gotten yourself killed. Did you think of that when you left the house this morning? Did you think about what I’d do if you’d died?”
He bit his lip, half-wishing he hadn’t blurted that last thought out loud, but glad he did. Shelby’s world had changed whether she liked it or not, and he wanted to be part of it. He needed her to see him as more than just Kelsey’s annoying bodyguard.
The corners of her mouth lifted into a small smile. Pink colored her cheeks.
He leaned slowly down. Her chin tilted up to meet his. Their lips met hesitantly. He would’ve settled for a chaste peck if that were all she wanted. It wasn’t. Shelby wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him into her body. The quick peck evolved into a breathtaking, needy explosion of passion he hadn’t seen coming.
He lifted her onto his lap while she raked needy fingers through his hair, her tongue urgently asking for more. Deftly, he slid a hand beneath her shirt, needing to feel her warmth. Her willingness. Her fire.
The instant he touched skin, the need to have her naked beneath him engulfed his common sense. One touch wasn’t enough, and he’d been so damned hungry for too long. His blood boiled, his body on fire and every muscle taut with need. He wanted her. All of her. Now.
Her fingers on his cheeks offered encouragement. He pressed her backward to the seat, wishing this were another time. Another place. Their breaths mingled until they breathed the same air.
The gentle arch of her body into his encouraged him, but Gabe knew better than to treat a lady like this. He wouldn’t demean her by taking her in the back seat of a cab. Hell, no. He was a better man than that, and she an infinitely better woman.
There would come a time.
And it would be damned soon.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I still want to talk to her,” Mark insisted. He had Ember on the line. Judging by the edge to her voice, she was more than a little overwhelmed since Mother quit without saying a word, much less goodbye to her girlfriend.
Up until Alex’s death, Mother was the nosey, but usually calm, information technologist who supplied everyone with lightning-speed computer research and over-the-top admin support. Her workstation was command central, her fingers in everybody’s business maybe, but also on the pulse of all operations. So why had she quit?
He pinched the bridge of his nose, fully aware that he sucked at management. The TEAM needed someone stronger at the helm. Someone meaner. Like Alex.
“Good luck with that. I’ve been trying to reach her since she left, but she won’t pick up. She took a lot of stuff with her, too. Her office laptop’s gone.”
“Do you know why she quit?”
“I don’t. Sorry. She’s been acting weird lately.”
“Like how?”
“Secretively, kind of like she didn’t want anyone to overhear her telephone conversations. Wait. My other phone’s ringing.”
Still at Kelsey’s, Mark waited on the front steps while Ember took the other call. He’d already boarded up the front windows while the police gathered evidence and posted the crime scene. As soon as they left, he’d lock the place and take off. Hopefully, Zack would call with an update on the dogs. God, Mark hoped they’d still be alive.
The fire department had handled the hazardous waste from extinguishing Shelby’s car before they’d rolled out of the neighborhood. Only scorched pavement remained.