Gabe (In the Company of Snipers, #8)(8)
“Thanks. It’s just that... I must be seeing things. My head tells me one thing, but my heart seems to have a mind of its own.”
Shelby waited. She didn’t have personal experience dealing with death and loss. Her parents were both alive. Her grandparents, too. The closest she’d come to losing anyone was a patient, a small boy who’d nearly died at the hospital. Only that wasn’t so much grief as outright terror.
Her throat tightened remembering the awful thing she’d done. He’d been in her care. The walls closed in. Bile crept up the back of her throat as the day came back with a vengeance. Some memories never went away.
Thank God he’d lived, but that was why she’d fled the pressure and confusion of the hospital for the sanity of homecare. In a one-to-one private setting, she could maintain strict control over the minutia of healthcare for another. The sleep schedules. The diet. Prescriptions.
That day, the world became black and white. Controllable. It had to be. What had happened then would never happen again. Not with Shelby Sullivan absolutely in charge.
“I know better, but last night I could’ve sworn...” Kelsey’s voice dropped, bringing Shelby back to her current client. Kelsey lifted one hand to her cheek. Her gaze drifted from the cup of tea in her hands to the open bedroom door at the opposite end of the hall. “I thought he slid into bed with me. I thought he told me he loved me. I’m sure I felt his breath on my cheek. His kiss. It seemed so real.”
Shelby gulped. It sounded real to her, too. “I think it just takes a long time. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. This has to be incredibly hard.”
Kelsey breathed out a ragged sigh.
“Maybe these, umm, feelings are just your mind’s way of coping. You know, of easing you back into reality.” Shelby bit her lip, hoping she was helping, not hurting.
“Maybe.” Kelsey pulled her gaze out of the hall and forced a weak smile. “Listen. Don’t worry about me. Would you join me in a nice cup of herbal tea?”
“What if I make breakfast instead? What would you like to eat?”
But Kelsey’s gaze had drifted down the hall again.
Shelby squeezed her hand to divert her. “I’m here for you, Kelsey. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
“I will,” Kelsey promised, shifting her attention to the kitchen. “Honest.”
Only Shelby knew better. She couldn’t fix this problem with food, but she could prepare a solid menu and make sure her patient ate better. Toast and tea were not good enough. A good healthy breakfast ought to do the trick.
“Would you like an omelet?”
“Sorry. I haven’t been to the store since—”
“Don’t say another word and don’t you worry,” Shelby said, lifting out of the chair, glad to be useful and determined to get Kelsey back on her feet. “How about a spinach omelet with bacon on the side? Sourdough toast? Orange juice?”
“Oh, no.” Kelsey resisted. “That’s too much trouble. Besides, it’s too early to go to the store and you just got here. I can make do with a piece of toast.”
“It’s no trouble at all. Trust me,” Shelby promised, her car keys already in her hand and her mind made up. Kelsey needed a healthy menu plan to get her back on track. Maybe a bottle of vitamins, too. B-12. And chocolate.
Libby was right. Kelsey was a genteel woman who needed help while she learned to cope with her husband’s death. I might just get her a nice bright bouquet of flowers, too. Anything to make her smile.
The funeral sucked. Three days later, the office still felt like a tomb, and Gabe wished he were somewhere else—like the other side of the world. The farther from the walking dead that used to be the best covert team on the East Coast, the better.
He sat at his desk staring into space and thinking.
The effect of the alpha male’s death was instant. Everyone walked on eggshells. No one pointed a finger. Everyone seemed to understand. He hadn’t killed his boss. It wasn’t his fault. Yeah, right. Some first responder I was.
He used to think Alex had unusually elegant taste for a stiff-necked Marine. The black marble surfaces combined with polished aluminum created an attractive, yet functional work environment. Not anymore. The whole damned place looked cold. Like a morgue. Gabe had demons enough from his two tours to Afghanistan. He didn’t need them at work, too.
He now had three supervisors instead of one. The day after it happened, Senior Agent Mark Houston stepped out smartly and took over most of Alex’s workload. Someone had to. Senior Agent David Tao seemed to have filled the role as trusted but invisible advisor. He haunted the fitness center. A man had to track him down if he needed answers.
Harley was another problem altogether. He’d distanced himself in the ways of a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Nothing pleased him so everyone stayed clear.
None of this would’ve happened if Alex had stayed in his office that morning. But no, in his usual hardheaded way, he’d gone to the FBI meeting alone, not like that spelled a death sentence in and of itself. He’d just wanted the Bureau onboard with a perceived threat he’d received. When Alex made up his mind, people tended to get out of his way. He’d meant what he’d said, every damned time.
The whole mess stemmed back to that rat bastard, Charlie Oakes. He and his buddies wanted revenge because Alex had never looked twice at them, never would’ve hired them even if he had. Alex honestly believed in the concept of a few good men. He made schmoozing through a job interview impossible with that single telling question.