Funny You Should Ask(31)
Gabe glances down at his glass.
“Water?”
I glare at him.
“What is this?” I ask again, gesturing emphatically between us. “What do you want from me?”
He seems speechless at the question, and I wait for what feels like an eternity for him to answer.
“I wanted to see you,” he finally says.
I throw out my hands, knocking my own glass off the counter, getting water and glass everywhere.
“Shit,” I say.
“Don’t worry about it,” Gabe says.
He doesn’t move.
We stand there, water and glass at our feet, saying nothing.
“I’d like to take you somewhere,” Gabe says.
“Somewhere else?” I ask.
He nods.
“Montana,” he says.
I stare at him.
“You want to take me to Montana?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says.
“You’re nuts,” I say.
He smiles at that. “Yeah, probably,” he says.
“I can’t go with you to Montana,” I say.
“I’ll take care of everything,” he says.
“That’s not why and you know it,” I say.
“I know,” he says.
We stare at each other for a long time.
“I can’t go,” I say.
He nods.
“I can’t,” I say again.
We both know that I’m lying.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
MATTHIAS AND PARKER: Dynamic Duo
[excerpt]
By Robin Romanoff
I had been warned that trying to interview Parker and Matthias at the same time was a feat in and of itself. The two friends have known each other for so long and are so enamored of each other’s company that it isn’t long before the interview devolves into the two of them swapping inside jokes and speaking in the kind of shorthand only available to two people as close as they are. It’s clear that their much-lauded friendship is the real deal.
“Well, Gabe is the only person I ever considered for the part of Dex,” Matthias tells me.
“Only because you decided you weren’t going to star in it yourself,” Parker interjects. “We both know you do a much better Cary Grant than I do.”
“That’s the point,” Matthias says. “I didn’t want the movie to be a straight remake of the original. It had to be different.”
The difference is something that’s been long discussed.
“We wanted to update a few things,” Matthias says. “And Gabe brought a lot to the table—especially when it came to the story line between Tracy and her father.”
“It’s horribly sexist and gross,” Parker says. “He blames her for the affair and she apologizes in the end? We thought we could do better.”
I’m not sure fans of the original will agree with such an assessment, but it’s surprising to hear Parker speak so passionately and thoughtfully about the sexism woven throughout the original film.
It’s clear this movie isn’t going to be what audiences expect.
BROAD SHEETS
GABE PARKER:
Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Two
By Chani Horowitz
The world is different on the other side of the velvet rope. Us normals don’t like to hear that, of course. We crave confirmation that stars, well, they’re just like us.
I’m sorry to say but they are not.
Not even close.
You see, when I get ready for a fancy night out, if I’m lucky, I have a friend that can lend me an outfit, help me with my makeup, or even do my hair for me just to make me look like a slightly polished version of my actual self.
When someone like Jacinda Lockwood leaves her million-dollar home to go to the gym, she has a whole team of stylists to make sure that she looks like someone who doesn’t have to go to the gym.
You’ve all seen the pictures by now. Of me standing with Gabe Parker’s arm around my waist, smiling gamely at the crowd in a sparkly blue dress. Go Fug Yourself thinks that I might have chosen the gown to match Gabe’s suit, but that presumes that I knew what Gabe was going to wear (I didn’t) or that I have a closet full of fancy-party dresses to choose from (I don’t).
The matching was just luck.
The whole evening, really, was just luck.
Because, dear readers, you and I both know that I shouldn’t have been there.
Even in those pictures, I look out of place. Gabe’s grin is ratcheted up to eleven, while I’m just trying to seem normal while the flashing bulbs of hundreds of cameras burn my retinas and a crowd of strangers yells at us to “look over here and smile.” That hand I have on his arm? That’s me holding on for dear life, unsure if I’ll be able to see where I’m going when we have to move down the line and very unsure I won’t just fall on my ass after wobbling forward in my uncomfortable heels.
I don’t belong but I don’t care. For one evening, I’m traveling amongst the beautiful people.
And Gabe, beautiful person that he is, is my gallant and charming tour guide.
He introduces me to everyone.
Most important, he introduces me to the man of the evening, the incomparable Oliver Matthias.