Full Tilt (Full Tilt #1)(74)

And you’re the epitome of grace and tact, Theodore. I kept the snark to myself though. “It seems to me he’s doing a really good job of being careful,” I said. “And I will too. I will, Theo, I promise.”

He nodded, his hard stare unrelenting. I held still in it, letting him see me. Despite his rough manner, I liked Theo. He was Jonah’s family and I wanted him to like me too, especially now that Jonah and I were together.

“I promise,” I said again.

His hands went back in his pockets. “All right.”

“Is anything else bothering you?”

“I want to know what your intentions are.”

I blinked. “My intentions? To make an honest man out of him?”

I laughed and went to give him a playful shove but he stepped aside. “You’re just going to leave.”

I froze, my laughter catching in my throat. “No, I’m not,” I said softly. “I would never…”

“This is a big f*cking deal,” Theo said. “This is the rest of his life. Do you get that? The rest of his life. If you hurt him…”

I leaned my hip on the back of my couch for support. “Hurting him is the last thing I want.”

We stared across the space of my little living room. Slowly the steely glint in Theo’s eyes softened. His hands came out, looked for something to do, and then he crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay. And what happens when it gets bad? What are you going to do?”

“I’m not thinking like that,” I said, and felt my own anger flare. “What about hope? What about not being so goddamn sure he doesn’t have a chance?”

“He does have a chance. He does…”

Theo’s arms fell to his sides, and his shoulders slumped a little. His face seemed to tear down the middle, revealing the pain beneath. I remembered Jonah telling me Theo had stood beside him every minute of his illness. He was there when Audrey left. He was sitting next to Jonah when the results of the last biopsy were read. He’d had a front-row seat to all the terrible things in Jonah’s life. I’d be blind not to see it had made him take responsibility for his brother the only way he knew how.

“You’re a good brother to him,” I said softly. “You don’t need me to tell you, but I will. You are.” I moved close to him, rested my hand on his arm. His shoulder went up and down dismissively, but he didn’t shy from my touch.

I hesitated. “How are you?”

He made a face. “What?”

“I think…maybe you don’t get asked that a lot. Especially lately. So I’m asking. How are you doing?”

He stared down at me, his thick brows furrowed, as if I were speaking a foreign language. Under my hand, his skin raised gooseflesh, the fine hairs on his forearm lifting. We both noticed it at the same time, and he jerked away.

“I’m fine,” he said, striding toward the door. “It’s him we need to take care of.” The door slammed behind him.

“Okay,” I said to the empty space. “Good talk.”





The following day, a Monday, I arrived at the hot shop promptly at noon, two bags from SkinnyFATS in hand: chicken salads with arugula and capers for myself and Jonah, a breaded buffalo chicken salad for Tania. I had to juggle the bag with a tray of three smoothies as I hauled the hot shop’s sliding door open. It screeched and protested, and by some miracle I managed not to spill anything.

Tania and Jonah were working at opposite ends of a blowpipe. Jonah’s eyes were narrowed in concentration as he rolled and shaped.

“Air,” he said.

Behind him, Tania blew into the pipe. The glass swelled.

“Right there,” Jonah said, his eyes on the piece. “Perfect.”

When it was safe to interrupt, I approached. “Hey, anyone hungry?”

“Starved!” Tania enveloped me in a hug that smelled like sweat and burnt paper. “You’re spoiling us with these lunchtime visits. Not that I’m complaining…”

I hugged her back, thinking, I have five friends here now. I’d never stayed in one place long enough to have so many.

I glanced over Tania’s shoulder at Jonah. He smiled to himself, as if satisfied, and hung the blowpipe from the ceiling. He joined us and kissed me hello.

“SkinnyFATS,” Tania said, poking into the bags. “I love this joint.” Her head flicked up. “Wait, what just happened?”

“Nothing,” Jonah said, giving me a second kiss.

“It just happened again.” Tania looked from him to me and back. “When did this happen?”

I laughed. “Over the weekend.”

“Twice on Sunday,” Jonah added.

“Oh my God.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Holy shit!” Tania hugged me again, then gathered Jonah in. “I’m so happy for you guys. This is amazing.”

“Nah, it’s just lunch,” Jonah said, rummaging in the bag and coming up with an orange smoothie. He raised an eyebrow at me. “They were out of mulch?”

“Fresh out, smartass,” I teased.

His cell rang. He fished it out of his back pocket and looked at the number. “It’s Eme,” he said. “Hey, this is Jonah…” He walked out of the hotshop with its constant hiss of burning furnaces and churning air conditioning to take the call.