From Twinkle, With Love(43)
I desperately wanted to. But another ride would turn into another one and then this would turn into a flat-out date. And I couldn’t do that to Sahil or N. I just couldn’t. I had to use the unspent money Dadi had given me for rides and stuff on a cab ride home. There were a bunch at the gate. “I … shouldn’t.”
His disappointed face matched mine. Only for a heartbeat.
Because then I blurted out, “Do you want to get some cotton candy?” Twinkle, why? Why couldn’t you just let Sahil go?
His face brightened, like someone had turned up the wattage. “Sure.”
We walked to the cotton candy stall slowly, people swarming around us like busy flies. Our arms kept brushing together, and I scooted in half a millimeter closer. It was chilly and he was warm, okay?
Sahil ordered two from the cotton candy vendor.
“Hey,” I said as I paid for the cotton candies with the money Dadi had given me. Sahil made a motion for his wallet, but I threatened him with bodily harm and he laughed and surrendered. “I forgot to tell you, but Victoria Lyons invited me to Hannah’s birthday party next weekend.”
We began to walk again. “For real?” he said.
“I know. I was surprised too. But I think I’ve earned street cred with her because of this whole director shtick.” I shrugged. “Anyway, I wanted to know if you’d come with me.” When he seemed to get really happy, I hastily added, “Because I want to get that behind-the-scenes footage we were talking about.”
“Oh, right,” Sahil said, his mood dampening noticeably as we made our way through the crowd and the noise.
I took a big bite of cotton candy. “It’s in Aspen at Victoria’s parents’ cabin, so it’s a bit of a drive.”
Sahil whistled. “And this is Hannah’s birthday party? But Victoria invited you?”
He was starting to remind me of Maddie. Was it just so obvious to everyone else that I didn’t belong with them? I felt a little silly in my shiny new dress and my perfectly done hair all of a sudden. Trying to ignore the sting of hurt, I said, “I know. It’s so weird that they’d want me to go.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said, grabbing my hand to get my attention. “I just mean … Hannah’s never been very nice to you. Are you sure she’s gonna be okay with it?”
I shrugged. “Victoria told me not to worry about it, so I’m not worried about it. I’ll just bring her a fabulous present or something.”
“Hmm. Sure, I’ll go. And I’ll drive you if you want.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.” I took my hand away. “Sahil …”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think we should hold hands. I don’t want to confuse things. …”
“Is this still about keeping things professional?” he asked quietly. “Because I get the feeling that there might be something else. Or someone else.”
“There is the movie, but you’re right. There’s some other stuff I have to figure out too,” I admitted, swallowing and keeping my eyes forward. My palms were sweating.
“But … you like me?”
I took a deep breath. “I do. I like you.”
Sahil smiled. “That’s good enough for me for now. And this stuff you need to figure out?”
“Yeah?”
“Will kissing help or …?”
I laughed and pushed him on the arm. “Stop it.”
He walked me to the gate. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, stepping closer. I tried not to notice the way his eyes positively glowed as he looked at me. I was sure mine had a matching glow.
“Yes.”
He tucked a curl behind my ear. It was like we couldn’t stop finding excuses to touch each other. I should stop him, but I didn’t want to. N and I didn’t meet up. And Sahil was here. Sahil was always showing up for me. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. “Bye.”
“Bye, Twinkle.”
I smiled and turned around to walk outside to a waiting cab. And all the way there, I felt Sahil watching me go.
Love,
Twinkle
Thirteen
Saturday, June 13
My room
Dear Nora Ephron,
I took a shower, changed into comfy pj’s, and was sitting here doodling when my computer dinged. E-mails below.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: The carnival
Hi Twinkle,
I don’t know what happened tonight, but when I got to the carnival, the crowds were impossible to get through. By the time I made it to the carousel and looked around, you weren’t there. Do you want to try to meet up again?
—N
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: The carnival
They had some free ride thingy going on that apparently turned everyone into greedy, stampeding zombies. Anyway, on the one hand, I do want to try to meet up again. On the other, what if this is a sign from the universe or something?
—Twinkle
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: The carnival