From Governess to Countess (Matches Made in Scandal #1)(26)
His expression softened. ‘That is good to hear. Don’t worry, I’ve no intentions of giving up just yet. I have come too far to do that.’
‘As indeed have I!’ She had given up once. She had stopped believing in herself once. Never again. ‘I have come all the way from England, and I’ve no intention of going back there until I have completed the task you brought me here to do.’
‘I believe I’ve told you before, but it bears repeating. I am very glad that you are here.’ Aleksei’s smile was warm. He kissed her fingertips. ‘We will regroup and talk later, when I am clean and rested. How have you been coping with the children? I presume they are behaving themselves?’
It was a perfunctory question. She could answer in kind, but what would satisfy Aleksei’s conscience would not appease her own. ‘I am finding them difficult,’ Allison said, choosing her words with care. ‘They are very reserved, extremely reluctant to warm to me.’
‘What does it matter whether they like you or not? It’s not as if you are to be any sort of permanent fixture in their lives.’
Which was perfectly true, but his coolness irked her. ‘The tragedy is that the only permanent fixture in their life at present is that blasted dog,’ Allison retorted. ‘They need something—someone—to replace their parents.’
‘Their blasted governess, you mean.’
‘No, I don’t! I mean their mother and father, Aleksei, both of whom, from what the servants have told me, were loving and attentive parents, and whose presence in those children’s lives must be very much missed.’
‘You seem to have been gathering a great deal of information from the servants.’
The second time this morning she’d had the opportunity to confess, but she did not want to divert the conversation from her charges. ‘And from the children too,’ Allison said, neatly avoiding the issue. ‘Elizaveta and Michael were not the kind of parents who saw their children once a day in the drawing room after dinner. They read stories to them, sat through some of their lessons, played games with them.’
‘Really?’ Aleksei looked sceptical. ‘If that is the case, Michael took a very different approach to rearing his offspring from our parents.’ He shaded his eyes with his hand to block the dazzle of late sunshine, and watched the three children playing a game of fetch which involved both Ortipo and Nikki chasing a large stick. ‘They don’t seem noticeably unhappy.’
‘Children are very resilient creatures, but I know that deep down they are grieving. Perhaps it’s for the best, after all, that they continue to resent me.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because then they won’t mind when I leave. They have already lost the three people they care most about, so it is better that they don’t come to care for me.’ Or you, for that matter, Allison thought sadly, but did not say.
Aleksei frowned over at his wards, now gathered around the edge of a large fountain, attempting to cast pebbles into the open mouth of a large stone fish from which water spouted. ‘Michael and I used to play that game. I always won, much to his chagrin.’
‘At least those three have each other.’
‘You think I don’t care for them, but you’re wrong. I care enough to know that I’d be a terrible guardian. Even if I wanted to weigh myself down with the burden of those three, it would be wrong of me. As you quite rightly implied, what they need is stability, a mother to rear them and a father to look after their interests.’
‘Is your cousin Felix married, then?’
‘No. I’ve never thought about it before, I wonder—but it doesn’t matter. I’m sure, when—if—I clear his name and hand him custody of Michael’s children, he’ll find a suitable wife.’
‘You could do that.’
‘Take a wife, simply in order to provide Michael’s children with a mother?’ he exclaimed, looking appalled. ‘Even if I could persuade any female to wed me on such terms...’
‘Don’t be so modest, Aleksei, there would be a queue from here to Moscow willing to take you under any terms, as Nikki’s guardian.’
‘You are mocking me.’
‘Only a little. Are you really so set against marriage?’
‘I am married to the army, and even if I was not—I have no intentions of remaining in St Petersburg.’
‘Must the children remain here?’
He shrugged irritably. ‘Michael would not contemplate them being raised anywhere else.’ In the distance, a bell rang and the children and dog began to stampede towards the house in eager search of their lunch.
Which meant that Allison had an appointment elsewhere too. ‘I should go and...’
‘I’ll come with you. We’ll go through the garden-room door, it’s quicker.’ He checked the path to ensure that the children were out of sight, before sliding his arms around her waist. ‘My thoughts have not been wholly consumed by my search for the Orlova woman. Thinking about you has been a very pleasant distraction.’
Her heart began to thump in her ribcage. How could she have found him intimidating? The way he looked at her now, it made her blood fizz with anticipation. She couldn’t doubt that he found her attractive. It was a heady feeling. ‘Really?’ Allison said, smiling teasingly, ‘I on the other hand have been far too busy to spend much time thinking about you.’