Frayed (Torn #2)(37)

No! I sighed. “You don’t have to.”

He cupped my cheeks, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. “I know, but I want to. Goodnight.” He gave me a few more quick kisses before he parted from me. “Dream of me,” Taylor said with a flirty smile before he finally left my room.

I stood there and stared at the floor. My dreams… those I don’t have a control of. The dreams had been relentless. Every night, I dreamt of Harry, the man I loved.

I was startled when I woke up thrashing. My heart pounded like I had just run a marathon. My dreams tonight flashed through my head. Taylor’s touch, his lips, his possession and those dirty lines he asked of me during sex kept replaying in my head. My hand reached out and dipped a finger inside my pu**y, and sure enough I was soaked. I pulled my hand away and cursed. “Taylor! What the hell are you doing to me?” I mumbled out loud in total frustration. Frustrated was one thing. Being sexually frustrated was a total killer.

I tried to train my breathing as my eyes closed. All I needed was to fall back to sleep and not think of sex, or Taylor, but after thirty minutes of trying, I was wired more than ever. “f*uk!” I cursed in desperation.

Okay, maybe if I could just make myself come then, it might take the edge off, but how the heck do I do that? I recalled what Amber said when she found out I didn’t know what the hell to do with it, one night during junior year. “Uh, Doll, even a nun knows how to touch herself. You need to get your groove on and focus on the clit. That’s all. It’s easy peasy.”

In full concentration mode, I parted my legs and ever so slowly, my middle finger started to do what Taylor did earlier in the tiny office at the club. After a few minutes, I gave up. It didn’t feel like how he did it. “How the f*uk do I do this?” I was getting pissed off.

I needed a release so bad I was in pain.

Damn it to cocking hell and back. I was like an addict fiending for a quick fix. NOW.

Oh, f*uk it! I was going to get some. I clenched my thighs together since I could feel my arousal, building as the time ticked away. Silently, I treaded out of my room and looked across the hall. Big problem. Which room was Taylor’s?

He had to have chosen somewhere close since that man always watched me like a hawk. So, it was either the room across from me, the room next to it, or the room next to mine. I started with the room across from mine, and I found it was empty. I continued by looking into the room next to it. Again, there was no Taylor but Lindsey’s things scattered around the room, but surprise, surprise, the woman wasn’t in it. Well, where else would she be? I wondered, amused.

Closing Lindsey’s room quietly, I darted to the one next to my room. I swear if he isn’t in here, I will cut a bitch.

My hand slowly turned the handle, pushing it to open. My feet were silent on the plush carpet. I closed the door with barely any sound. When I spun around, I could see Taylor’s things inside the half-opened bathroom door. Still silent, I stealthily moved inside the bedroom. It was dark, but my eyes adjusted enough to make out the silhouette form on the bed. I stood there, immobilized, as I took in the beauty before me. Taylor slept with his arms behind his head, his abs on display and only a sheet covering his lower half, but it didn’t mask the tent of his half-mast state. In his sleep, though lax, he still managed to look in control of everything.

Now that I was here, I suddenly felt unsure what to do next. Should I just hop on the bed and ride the joystick? What if he didn’t wake, wouldn’t that be rape? Well, he did say I could use him, didn’t he? So, I did have his consent—sort of.

What was I thinking when I said I wasn’t attracted to him in the beginning? Why was it that I couldn’t seem to get enough of Taylor lately?

I didn’t get it. I knew I still loved Harry, and yet I lusted for Taylor. The only reason that could justify my reactions was Taylor’s mad skills. The man did know how to make me feel dirty and downright nasty. It was like he took all the modesty from me and made me his own personal slut. I had never been treated in such a ghastly way—the way he spoke to me during sex and how he roughly took me—but I shamefully loved it all. It was a novelty that I hadn’t experienced before. Perhaps most perplexing of all, is that I hadn’t expected a model/law student who was quite righteous to be so outrageously offensive. The icing that was a total surprise, too, was that I would get so turned on by his raunchiness.

For sure though, I wanted more of that raunchiness and that filthy mouth of his. I had one month to enjoy what Taylor could give me, and I hoped that after it all, I would go home with less of a shroud around me. I wasn’t na?ve to think that sex was the answer to my troubled life, but at least, I would go home with a better frame of mind. Maybe I would have enough resistance when I saw Harry. He was my in-law after all. I would eventually see him.

Lightly treading to get to where I wanted to be, I nervously slid on the bed. Moving a tad closer to him, I lavished the heat that radiated off his body. With a thudding heart, my eyes took in the contours of his face, from his sensual lips and his perfect nose to his arched brows, then lower to his shoulders and down to his abs—I wanted badly to touch him. My fingers itched to touch and my tongue drooled to get a taste.

Biting my lip, my forefinger reached out and lightly traced the deep ridges of his muscled abs. My finger stopped when Taylor shifted a bit and let out a soft moan. I froze, as did my finger that was half an inch away from his skin. God, I’ve elevated to creepy stalker level. Although, somehow, I couldn’t help myself.