Fractured Sky (Tattered & Torn #5)(78)

“You’re right about that.” It was something I’d been thinking about. The Millers were great, but they weren’t a permanent home for Aidan and Elliott. And finding someone who would take a teenager and a six-year-old together would likely be a challenge.

“We need to talk to Hayes and see what he says about making sure they end up somewhere amazing.”

“We’ll go this week.”

Shiloh nuzzled my neck. “Love you.”

My chest gave a painful squeeze. “It’s more than that.”

She smiled against my skin. “It’s everything.”





I headed down the wide trail, Aidan at my side. I’d thought it might help to get out and moving, take the focus away from the pressure of a heart-to-heart. I’d discovered in the prison program that the words came easier when you were working on another task.

Sandy had been right about leaving Shiloh back at the ranch. I’d seen the relief in Aidan’s eyes when he’d seen that it was just me. But I hadn’t wanted to leave Shiloh alone after everything that had happened, so after much grousing, she’d agreed to invite her mom and Hadley over for brunch but not before saying, “If I poison them, their deaths are on you.”

I’d thrown together a breakfast casserole and told her that she wouldn’t have to worry about killing her family. I smiled down at my feet at the thought. Hell, I missed Shiloh already. Something was wrong with me.

“What are you thinking about?” Aidan asked.

I sent up a few silent curses. I needed to get my head in the game. “Nothing.”

“You were smiling this big, goofy smile.”

I grimaced. “I was thinking about Shiloh.” There was no sense in denying it. Aidan could read a lie from a million miles away.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“She is. She has a few bruises, but that’s it. And I know she really wants to see you.”

Aidan’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “I wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

“We’ve talked about this, A. Shiloh doesn’t blame you for anything your father did. You’re nothing like him.”

Aidan’s eyes reddened, but he didn’t say a word.

I grabbed his elbow gently, bringing us both to a stop. “Talk to me.”

He stared down at the dirt path. “I can get angry like my dad does. When I heard what he did to Shiloh, I wanted to pummel him.”

My gut twisted. This kid was so damn hard on himself. Held himself to standards no one could ever meet. Yet that was one of the reasons he’d never be like Kenny. “Anger’s natural. It’s what you do with it that counts.”

“If he’d have been standing there, I would’ve hurt him.”

“Because he hurt someone you care about. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect the people around you, the ones who are important to you. And it’s understandable to want some justice for all the times he hurt you, too.”

Aidan kicked at a rock. “I hate feeling all that…rage swimming around inside me. It’s like it’s eating me alive.”

God, I knew that feeling. So deeply—even if it had faded with time. “I hate it, too.”

He looked up at me in question.

“I felt that way every day after I got out of prison. Every day after my stepdad was sentenced, I drowned in that anger.”

“How did you stop it?”

“I needed an outlet. Somewhere to release it.”

A thoughtfulness spread over Aidan’s expression. “Like boxing or something?”

“Could be. For me, it was the horses. I couldn’t work with them with that anger coursing through me. I had to expel it before I set foot in a ring. I ran it out of myself with hard work: stocking hay, cleaning stalls, feeding, fixing fences. I let it flow through me while I did all those things. Then, by each afternoon, I was ready to work with the horses, and they gave me back a sliver of peace. That grew day by day until the anger wasn’t eating me alive anymore.”

“I don’t know what my outlet is. I like working with the horses, though.”

I gripped Aidan’s shoulder and squeezed. “You may need to try a few things on for size. We can get you signed up for a martial arts class. Maybe something creative, too, like art.”

Aidan made a face.

“Don’t knock it. I’ve seen some pretty badass art out there.”

“Maybe…” he said begrudgingly.

“And we keep working with the horses at the ranch. And, most of all, we talk. This stuff only has power over us when the shadows fester.”

“I don’t want to live in the dark anymore.”

I pulled Aidan into a tight hug. “You don’t have to. And even if things look murky, you just have to remember that you’re not alone. I’ve got your back. And that’s never going to change.”

Aidan let out a shuddering breath, and I knew he was trying to hold back tears. He pulled out of my hold. “Why would you want to help me?”

“Because I know what it feels like to feel powerless and out of control.” My mind flashed to Lor and the gift she’d given me with the horses. “Someone helped me find my way. I’d like to help you, too. But only if you want me to.” It had to be Aidan’s choice, or it would never work.