Fractured Sky (Tattered & Torn #5)(36)

The worst of the guilt eased. I lifted my phone and snapped a picture of the mare. I sent it to my mom.

Me: I’m good. Working on befriending this girl.

I worried my bottom lip as I waited for her response. It was a new tactic, volunteering information. Usually, I simply responded to questions, but I wanted her to know that I really was good. That this place was right for me in so many ways. I didn’t have the exact words to tell her that, so I gave her this instead.

Mom: She’s a beauty. Looks a little thin.

Me: Ramsey rescued her from a bad situation. We’re trying to help her heal.

There was nothing for a few moments.

Mom: That sounds like something you’d be great at.

My nose stung. It was an olive branch. The biggest compliment, too.

Me: I’m trying. And I’m learning a lot.

Mom: I’m glad. Maybe you can stop by sometime and tell me more about it.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. I hated the doubt that surfaced at her words. That I was wondering if going home would bring an onslaught of arguments. But I had to try.

Me: Sure. I can come by towards the end of the week. I’ve got a few projects around here that I need to wrap up first.

I was still making my way through the tack and getting the horses on more of a riding schedule. Aidan had proven himself to be more than capable, and having him on the riding roster helped tremendously. But it was a lot. I had no idea how Ramsey had been doing it all on his own for so long.

Mom: Whenever you have time.

I blinked at the screen a few times. That wasn’t a Julia Easton response. She usually pushed. Couldn’t help herself. But this, giving me space… It was new.

Me: Thanks. Give Dad a hug for me.

Mom: Will do. Love you more than words.

The stinging sensation was back. I locked my phone and shoved it back into my pocket. More guilt pricked at me. All the lies I’d told—the outright untruths and the unspoken ones—swirled around me.

It had been going on for so long, there were days that I questioned reality. I simply hadn’t wanted to admit the truth. To let those around me know how bad things had gotten. How terrified I was. And then, the letters had started.

I’d shoved it all away as something of mine and mine alone to deal with. And now, there was too much. Even if I’d wanted to lay it all at my mom’s feet, to crawl into her lap and have her tell me it would all be okay, I couldn’t because I’d built a mountain of lies between us.

So, I’d have to deal with this latest development alone. Not completely alone, a voice whispered in my head. Ramsey knew. Not everything, but a lot of it. He knew what haunted me in the here and now, at least. And simply knowing that he was in the room down the hall had helped me sleep. No nightmares or flashbacks, just a pure, dreamless sleep.

It annoyed me that he had the ability to ease me like that, especially after putting an invisible wall between us. I wasn’t sure what trigger I’d stepped on at dinner last night, but it was something. He’d slammed the door closed between us with a severity that had me reeling. And by the time I’d gotten up this morning, he was already gone.

I pushed off the round pen railing and started for the barn. He cared enough to want me safe, but that was it. It burned that what he felt for me was born of pity and obligation, but I’d get past that. I’d show him that I was capable of taking care of myself, and then things would go back to how they were before.

Friendship. Understanding. I’d learn from Ramsey. And, eventually, when I was ready, I’d move on.

The burn was back, but it was more intense this time. The idea of leaving this place. Of leaving him… It was too much.

Kai scrambled to his feet and followed me. I scratched his head as I walked to the barn. “You want to come with me?”

He let out a whine. Ramsey had seemed fine with Kai sticking close to me. He had come with me on a couple of rides. None had been quite this long, but I’d bring water for him.

I grabbed my saddle and Sky’s bridle and stashed them on the rack near the crossties. I snatched a lead rope and moved to Sky’s stall. “Hey, girl.”

I slid the door open and hooked the rope to her halter. “How about a ride?”

She let out a whinny and danced her head up and down. A small laugh escaped me, even knowing what we would be en route to do.

I made quick work of grooming and saddling her, then put two bottles of water in my saddlebags and swung onto her back. With a whistle for Kai, I started out the back of the barn.

I forced myself to keep my focus on the trail ahead and not look for onyx eyes that I wanted to get lost in. He was a friend who was helping me, not my person—the one I could lean on and share my load with.

Kai ran ahead on the path but knew enough to check back with me. We wove around national forest land as we made our way towards town. When the trail forked, I veered away from the path that would lead us there. Instead, I took the one headed for a ridge.

The spot I had in mind had plenty of forest cover, and those trees would disguise me from any prying eyes. Not that they’d be looking. No one would expect to see me within a mile of this place.

Sky slowed as I pulled back on the reins and slid off her back. My legs trembled as I hit the ground. I told myself it was because of the ride but knew that was a lie.

My throat closed as I took in the people clad in black. It was a small crowd—ten at most. I saw Everly’s blond hair catching in the wind as Hayes wrapped an arm around her shoulders. A minister stood by a glossy coffin.