Fractured Sky (Tattered & Torn #5)(18)

I shoved down the pang of fear that thought caused. Familiar had always been safe. I knew what to expect here. But that routine was killing me, one day at a time.

I stepped out into the sunshine. There was a bite to the air, but the sun took away the worst of the sting. Pulling open the door to my truck, I slid the box onto the passenger seat and tossed the duffel onto the floorboards.

The sound of tires crunching gravel had me lifting my head. Instead of Hadley’s SUV, I saw Hayes’ sheriff’s department vehicle. I muttered a curse under my breath as I slammed the door to my truck.

Instead of pulling up to the house, Hayes pointed his SUV in my direction. He came to a stop just feet away and slid out. “Hey, Shy.”

“Hey. How’s Ev?”

Shadows flitted across Hayes’ eyes. “She’s hanging in there.”

More of that ugly guilt clawed at my insides. I’d been rejoicing while Everly was suffering. I didn’t feel guilty for being relieved by Howard’s death. I felt guilty for not thinking of Ev more. She’d put me before every loyalty she had, simply to do the right thing. She’d snuck out of her home in the dead of night and rode down a mountain in the dark to the sheriff’s office to tell them where I was. In many ways, she’d lost her entire family that night. The price for doing the right thing was steep. And now, she was losing them all over again.

I kicked at a piece of gravel. “Do you think she wants to see me? Or should I stay away for a while?”

Hayes ducked down, forcing me to meet his gaze. “She always wants to see you.”

“I just…I’m a reminder.”

“So am I. But I’m with her every day. She needs her family right now, and that’s what we are.”

My throat burned, but I nodded. “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning.”

Hayes’ gaze shifted to the truck behind me. “You got plans today?”

My fingers tapped my thighs, and my muscles tensed, bracing for impact. I said the words on one long exhale. “I’m moving out.”

Hayes froze. “You’re what?”

“I’m moving out. It’s time.”

He was quiet. I marked the moments in heartbeats—the one-two pulse ringing in my ears. Hayes scrubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw. “There a reason I’m just now hearing about this and only because I caught you in the act?”

Because he would’ve tried to talk me out of it just like most everyone else in my life would. “I just decided.”

Hayes stared at me a beat. “Big step. Have you talked to your therapist about it?”

My fingers curled, my nails digging into my palms. “I don’t need to talk to a shrink to know my own mind.”

“I’m not saying you do. I just thought it might be good to have someone to talk to and work through the feelings that come up around the process.”

“I’m an adult, Hayes.”

He blew out a breath. “I’m not suggesting you aren’t. I just…I worry. But I’m so damn proud of you, too.”

A little of my annoyance fled at his honesty. I ached to wrap my arms around him, to hug my brother and reassure him. But I couldn’t make my arms cooperate. “I’m okay. But I won’t be if I don’t get out on my own. I can’t live like this forever.”

Little lines creased Hayes’ brow. “I know it’s been hard. I just want you happy and safe. Where are you moving? I’ll do a walk-through and check the security. We’ll get new locks installed, an alarm system if there isn’t one already in place.”

My stomach dipped as if I’d just taken the plunge on a hellish rollercoaster. “You don’t need to do that.”

“Of course, I do. It’ll make Mom and Dad feel better, too. Where is the place? Apartment in town? Or a house?”

I fought the urge to squirm as Hayes waited.

“Shy?” he prodded.

“I’m renting Ramsey Bishop’s guest cabin.” We hadn’t actually discussed the cost of said rent. I hadn’t even asked if I could bring Sky, but I had to assume that he figured I would, and his barn was massive. I was sure he’d have a stall open for her. My brain was spiraling now, anything to distract me from my brother’s rapidly reddening face.

“Are you out of your mind?”

He bellowed the words so loudly I felt the vibrations against my skin.

The front door to the ranch house flew open, and my parents appeared. They hurried across the drive towards us. My dad’s brows pulled together. “What’s all the yelling about?”

Hayes’ chest rose and fell in labored breaths. “Shy—she—she thinks she’s moving out. Into Ramsey Bishop’s guest cabin.”

Everyone stilled. My dad’s eyes widened a fraction, and my mom’s jaw dropped open.

“Moving?” My mom gaped.

“Yes. It’s time.”

She shook her head in tiny, rapid movements. “This is about Howard Kemper. I knew this would bring up things that were difficult to deal with but running away isn’t going to help.”

“It’s not about that. This is about me. I need some room to breathe.”

Dad ran a hand over his head. “And we want you to have that, but I think what your mom is saying is that now doesn’t seem like the best time. If you need more privacy, we can build you a cabin on our property—”