Found in You(96)

I stepped toward Hudson, hating the look on his face, wanting him to be comforted. “I told him I couldn’t work with him, Hudson, and he said I had to. He said Julia was dying to work with Pierce Industries and this was her in and if I screwed it up…” I bit my lip and tasted blood. “He said I owed him.”

“Alayna, you don’t f*cking owe him anything.” His voice was still harsh, but less so.

My eyes stung. “I do! I ruined his life.”

“He cheated on his fiancée. He ruined his own life.”

“But there’s more to it than that, and you know it.”

“You still don’t owe him shit. You were sick. You weren’t responsible for what you were doing.”

I took that in. I had been sick. I hadn’t been in control of my actions. I knew this. I’d accepted this in therapy.

But that didn’t change anything. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I don’t owe him, he has this over my head. He could say that I set up the meeting simply to get to him. I mean, I didn’t, but it could look that way.” I chuckled harshly. “Even you thought that I did. And then he was there again that night at the Botanic Gardens. It looks like I could have been following him. Who’s going to believe me over him?”

I’d been avoiding his eyes, but I met them now. “If I violate that order again, I could see jail time.” Not to mention what could happen to Hudson in the media. He’d be the joke of the town.

“Alayna.” He closed the short distance between us in two quick steps and wrapped his arms around me.

I hadn’t realized how close my tears were to the surface until I was safe and in his arms. I cried softly into his shoulder, not only because of what I’d done or because of the pressure I’d been under keeping it in, but because he was holding me. They were tears of relief.

Hudson pulled me in even tighter. “Why didn’t you come to me? I would never let anything bad happen to you. Never. You have to know that, don’t you?”

I turned my face so my words wouldn’t get lost in the material of his suit jacket. “I got scared. Of what he could do to me. Of what he could do to you.” The long strokes he ran along my back made it easy to keep talking, easy to confess. “And I wanted you to be proud of me. Of the deal I made.”

He pushed me away suddenly and gripped my upper arms. Bending to catch my gaze, he said, “I’m always proud of you, Alayna. Always.”

It broke me. Again.

I clutched on to his shirt inside his open jacket. “I should have told you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do and I wanted to tell you. Please, don’t be mad at me.”

Softly, he shushed me. “Don’t. Don’t cry, precious.” He held me as I cried. When I was calmer, he said, “I’m only mad because you put yourself in danger. You scared me. You can’t imagine what I felt when the background report came across my desk and I realized the situation. Don’t you know I couldn’t stand it if anything bad happened to you?” His voice cracked.

“Yes, I know.” It was exactly how I’d feel if something happened to him.

“And I’m mad because you didn’t come to me.”

“I wanted to. I did. But Ce—” I almost mentioned Celia, stopping myself right before I did. I didn’t think it was a good time to add that secret to the mix. “But I didn’t want you to have to get in the middle of my mess.”

I pulled away, looking aimlessly for a tissue.

Hudson pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Who the hell carried handkerchiefs? There was still so much to learn about this man.