Found in You(134)

Goosebumps rushed across my skin. Hudson’s words were both freeing and binding. They relieved me of so many of the doubts that constantly pulled at me. His reluctance to believe me hadn’t been about trust, though I certainly hadn’t deserved his trust. It had been his way to hold on to me. Even at my most crazy, he would still be there for me. That was almost unbelievable. After years of thinking no one could ever want me past my mistakes, his declaration was more of a dream come true than any other aspect of our relationship.

At the same time, I now realized the extent of my failures in our commitment to each other. While he would stand by me through anything, I had pushed him away with secrets and lies. And when I had believed that he had resorted to his past behaviors, when I believed he had manipulated me—I’d only gotten highly pissed. He’d been sick in the past, just as I had, yet I’d blamed him instead of offering understanding.

I fell to my knees with the weight of it all. Tears stung at my eyes. “I don’t know how to do this.”


“Do what?” He collapsed in front of me an arm’s length away. So near but, without his touch, so far.

“Have a relationship.” I swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. “I keep f*cking it up. I kept things from you. I accused you of manipulating me. I didn’t try to compromise about David.”

“I don’t care about any of that.” He nudged an inch closer, his expression desperate. “Just don’t give up on us. Please, don’t give up. I’m a shell without you, Alayna. I can barely breathe when you aren’t near me, when I’m not touching you. Right now, it’s all I can do to hold myself back from taking you in my arms.”

“Why are you holding back?” My need for him was astounding.

“Because I don’t want to resort to sex to solve this.”

“You listened. You always listen.” I choked back a sob.

“Alayna.”

Like always, the sound of my name on his tongue ignited me, and coupled with the distance between us, it increased my want, increased my anguish. “I need you, Hudson. I need you to touch me and bring me back into sync. I’m so far out of tune with you and it hurts—like part of me is missing.”

A weak smile crossed his lips. “You get it then.”

“I do.” I finally did understand it—how the physical connection between us was vital. It brought us closer, united us at a level so deep that our words and actions became meaningless in comparison.

His hand reached out, but he dropped it before touching me. “Are we…okay?”

“I’m not giving up, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m so lost without you. Find me, Hudson.”

“I already have.”

Then we were in each other’s arms, our lips crushing in a kiss that tasted of hope and love and salty tears. His hands on my back lit my body on fire. I needed my shirt off, knowing the feel of skin-on-skin would be my only salve.

Hudson recognized my urgency. Or perhaps it was his own desire that moved his hands to my buttons as I worked to undo his. Our kiss remained unbroken as we shed our shirts, then my bra. Then, with great reluctance, I let his mouth go so he could blaze a trail to my breasts. He cupped them both, first nuzzling and licking in the spot between them before moving his attention to one nipple. He tugged and sucked for long minutes until I was writhing and gasping. By the time he’d moved to the other nipple, I was aroused and near climax.

I’d been so immersed in Hudson’s adoration that I’d missed when he’d unwrapped my skirt until I felt his fingers on my clit through my panties, pushing at the bundle of nerves like it was a release now button. And it was—I was already on a hair-trigger. One simple swirl of his thumb and I was tumbling over.