Found in You(105)

Hudson appeared from my closet carrying my running shoes.

“Thank you.” He was always so considerate, but I knew his attentiveness this morning had motive. It occurred to me that I could just give in. But I could be stubborn too.

I picked up right where I’d left off with a new excuse. “Also, my brother’s coming out from Boston sometime this week. I need to get him the key to my apartment and let him harass me for some reason.”

Hudson bent to put on my left shoe while I worked on the other. “I can arrange for someone to meet him, you know. It doesn’t have to be you.”

Now that sounded like a good plan, even if I didn’t go to Japan. Even if I didn’t go to Japan? Dammit, he had me considering it.

I shook my head. “You seriously have a solution for any protest I make, don’t you?”

“I guarantee that I do. So why are you still protesting?”

“Because I have a life that involves more than you.”

“I hate that.”

I looked up from my tied shoe to see him giving me a pretty effective pout. “Don’t be cute.”

“I want you with me. I’ll use any tactic I can to make that happen.”

He held out his hand to help me up. I took it and was immediately pulled into his arms.

Yeah, that felt good. How had I gone all that time since waking without touching him? He’d become so necessary to my life, to my routine. Was it even possible to spend time away from him? And how much time were we talking about?

Always in tune with me, he spoke directly to my unvoiced thoughts, nuzzling his cheek against mine. “I may be gone for several days. I can’t bear to be apart from you that long. It kills me that you think you can.”

They were the kinds of words I’d always dreamed of being told. I was the clingy one. I was the get-too-f*cking-attached chick. What was it about Hudson that kept my obsessiveness at bay? Did it mean I didn’t feel as deeply about him as I thought I did? That I didn’t truly love him?

No, I did love him. Truly. There was no doubt. It was because I felt secure about his feelings for me, god only knew why, that I was able to remain sensible.

But I also understood that look in his eyes, that yearning to be with someone who didn’t necessarily reciprocate. I’d been passed up and thrown away so many times. It hurt.

Even though Hudson was only going for a short trip and not forever, I got his need and I couldn’t stand the idea of making him feel that misery.

I also couldn’t imagine putting everything on hold and flying off to Japan at the drop of a hat. “I don’t want to be apart from you either, Hudson. I…can I think about it?” I bit my lower lip, waiting for his response, hoping he wasn’t too disappointed with my maybe.

He pressed his forehead against mine. “I suppose.”

Well, he took it better than I’d thought he would. “When do you need a decision?”

“Any time before the plane leaves the runway. Say, ten-ish.”


“Okay. I’ll think about it and let you know by this evening. Does that work?”

“It does.” He stuck his hands down the back of my running shorts and pulled me closer. “You know, every time you say you need to think about something, you end up coming around to my way in the end. When are you going to learn to just say yes to begin with?”

I laughed. “Not today.”

“It was worth a try.”

We held each other in silence for several long seconds. He was out of sorts—in a good way—his mood playful and easy, his touch soft and tender. It seemed every emotional scene we shared was followed by a reunion   that brought us closer than we had been before. Our evening before had been one of our worst. But this, like the lovemaking that followed the fighting, was oh, so close.