Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC, #5)(9)

“I’m sorry, Babe.” Viv hugs me.

“I’m alright. Don’t worry.” I hug her back and kiss the side of her head.

“Stop kissing my woman, you f*cking bastard.” Gabe chuckles, smacking my arm away from Viv’s back after walking over to us.

“She hugged me first.” I shrug.

“I did.” She looks at Gabe with a sheepish grin on her face.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Gabe leans down and kisses Viv, making the three other women sigh happily and me to long for someone to have that kind of relationship with. Yep, I’m a f*cking woman. There’s no shame in that. But on the road, I’m ruthless.

“Because you know me so well.” Viv kisses him again quickly before he straightens up.

“That’s true, now go bother someone else, I need to talk to Bennett.” Gabe tries to shoos the girls away as he sits on the lounger next to me. I’m not sure if him wanting to talk to me is a good or bad thing though and I find myself wanting the girls and their yapping back. Because when Gabe wants to talk to you, it either means that he’s in deep shit and needs help or that you’re in deep shit and he knows you need help. I don’t think he’s in trouble and I know for sure I’m not so I have no idea what he could possibly want to talk to me.

“Alright, spoilsport.” Ayden pouts and gets up.

“Nothing new there, Gorgeous Girl.” Gabe chuckles and my face drains. That’s what I used to call Nancy. I haven’t used or heard those words in four years, the last time I spoke to her.

“True,” Ayden agrees and they all giggle as they walk over to their next victim, Ryan. No doubt they’re going to tease them about that nurse he’s been seen with. Poor bastard.

“Speak up.” Jeez, he doesn’t waste any time.

“What about?” I sit up and look at him.

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

“Nothing is bothering me.” I look at him, confused at his line of enquiry.

“You’ve been looking at us with our women with a fond but longing look on your face, the girls were yapping at you about women or the lack of women in your life and your face screamed ‘help me please’ and when I called Ayden ‘Gorgeous Girl’, all the color drained from your face, so don’t tell me everything is fine,” he says in a rushed voice.

“Can’t hide anything from you,” I mutter.

“No, you can’t. Come on. The sooner you speak, the sooner I’m out of your hair.” He chuckles.

“You’re f*cking worse than them.”

“Yes, but I’m more effective and actually give good advice.”

“Maybe.” I sigh and tell him everything that happened with me and Nancy.

“Fuck, I didn’t expect that,” Gabe says and looks at me with an expression that’s full of sympathy.

“Yeah, no one does. I just hope that wherever she is, she’s happy and living the life she deserves.”

“You’re still in love with her,” Gabe states with a smug expression.

“Just like you were still in love with Viv after ten years.” I mimic his smug expression and tone.

“Touché.” He chuckles.

“I just hope she’s okay.” I sigh.

“Ever tried looking her up?”

“Yeah, the only things I ever come across are missing person ads. Her parents had a gravestone engraved with her name on a few months ago but I don’t know if she’s actually dead or if they’ve just given up the fight to look for her.” I shrug.

“Have you given up?”

“In a way, I did. How am I meant to look for her when I have no idea what happened that night?”

“How about asking for help from Jase? Lewis? From your f*cking brothers? You are such a dumbass.” Gabe shakes his head at me.

“A part of me hopes to find her and the other part wants to yell at her for leaving me.”

“It’s a natural reaction to have. How come you’ve never mentioned her before?” he asks me sounding perplexed.

“Because deep down I didn’t want to relive the nightmare, it was still too fresh. And then with the shit storm we were going through it didn’t feel right to whine about my personal demons so I buried it.”

“And now having the girls hound you for details has all brought back to the surface.”

“Yep. And it’s f*cking torture, but it also makes me feel something again. When I don’t think about her, I’m just going through the motions but when she does cross my mind, I feel like I can conquer anything, even though I’m still f*cking miserable and miss seeing her beautiful smile, I feel slightly better.”

“Fuck, you’re turning into such a woman.” Gabe jokes, no doubt in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“The best of us can find happiness in misery. I just wish I had made the choice to pick her up that night when she called me. I should have got on my f*cking bike and made sure she was okay.”

“Her disappearance is not on you. You’ve got to remember that. You don’t know what would have happened if you had gone. You might have been able to save her back then, but you might have been killed trying to save her. Not forgetting the kind of life we live, you could have lost her after joining the club. There’s always a chance that the next corner you drive around will be your last, or it could be the making of you. Unfortunately, that’s just life and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. You just gotta power on through and not let the bad overtake the good or you’re screwed.” Well f*ck.